<?xml version="1.0" encoding="UTF-8"?><rss xmlns:dc="http://purl.org/dc/elements/1.1/" xmlns:content="http://purl.org/rss/1.0/modules/content/" xmlns:atom="http://www.w3.org/2005/Atom" version="2.0" xmlns:itunes="http://www.itunes.com/dtds/podcast-1.0.dtd" xmlns:googleplay="http://www.google.com/schemas/play-podcasts/1.0"><channel><title><![CDATA[Courage to Create ]]></title><description><![CDATA[Courage to Create is where story meets neuroscience. I write about courage, identity, and using writing to break mental loops, make clearer decisions, and live the life you keep sensing but haven’t fully stepped into yet.]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com</link><image><url>https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!djyW!,w_256,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F829a1cf9-60dd-4494-b4b5-836c762b39b7_1264x1264.png</url><title>Courage to Create </title><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com</link></image><generator>Substack</generator><lastBuildDate>Thu, 05 Nov 2026 12:34:13 GMT</lastBuildDate><atom:link href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/feed" rel="self" type="application/rss+xml"/><copyright><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></copyright><language><![CDATA[en]]></language><webMaster><![CDATA[magdalenaponurska@substack.com]]></webMaster><itunes:owner><itunes:email><![CDATA[magdalenaponurska@substack.com]]></itunes:email><itunes:name><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></itunes:name></itunes:owner><itunes:author><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></itunes:author><googleplay:owner><![CDATA[magdalenaponurska@substack.com]]></googleplay:owner><googleplay:email><![CDATA[magdalenaponurska@substack.com]]></googleplay:email><googleplay:author><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></googleplay:author><itunes:block><![CDATA[Yes]]></itunes:block><item><title><![CDATA[I’m 50 and Still Don’t Know What I Want to Be When I Grow Up]]></title><description><![CDATA[Pivoting from &#8220;Who do I want to be&#8221; to &#8220;Who am I becoming&#8221;]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/im-50-and-still-dont-know-what-i</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/im-50-and-still-dont-know-what-i</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 05 Nov 2026 09:07:30 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png" width="1200" height="630" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!De3S!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6b5e6cf2-ffd1-4355-82a9-ab5e76b85678_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><blockquote><p>&#8220;Who do you want to be when you grow up?&#8221;</p></blockquote><p>Lydia asked me in the hallway. We were seventeen, walking out of history class, and our teacher had just spent the whole lecture on psychology. Somewhere in that hour, I fell in love with it.</p><p>I didn&#8217;t have to think. &#8220;A counselor,&#8221; I told her, out loud.</p><p><em><strong>That was the last time the question felt easy.</strong></em></p><h3>The Answer That Emptied Me Out</h3><p>At 21 I crossed an ocean to study psychology, carrying fifty dollars and a paper dictionary. Six years later, I was doing a counseling internship in Chicago. Most nights I walked through my door at seven or eight and collapsed on my bed. Then I cried. Dinner didn&#8217;t happen, because my body had nothing left for it.</p><p>I&#8217;m a huge empath. Every story I listened to during the day followed me home.</p><p><em><strong>Knowing exactly who I wanted to be hadn&#8217;t protected me. I had the answer, and it was emptying me out. So I let it go.</strong></em></p><h3>Trying Things On</h3><p>What came next was fifteen years at General Motors. I started in marketing, and every two and a half or three years I switched: purchasing, IT, HR, then a global systems project that spanned 37 countries and six languages. Nobody pushed me out of any of those roles. I love learning something new, and I wanted to see what else was out there. The global project was the one that finally burned me out.</p><p>IT surprised me most. In a room of ten guys, I was the only woman, and I kept up. Learning fast was how I earned my seat, and that room still makes me proud.</p><p>In 2019 I left GM to start my own coaching and consulting business. I was also volunteering a lot at my son&#8217;s Montessori school, and one day, on the drive there, James asked me, &#8220;Mom, how come you don&#8217;t work here?&#8221;</p><blockquote><p>&#8220;Wow,&#8221; I said. &#8220;I never thought about it.&#8221;</p></blockquote><p>I felt like I knew nothing about education, and even less about Montessori. Still, I started thinking about it, then having conversations. Two months later, I was running a Montessori schools.</p><p>One summer James wanted a bike, and I found a Trek on Facebook Marketplace. The man selling it told me about a program his company was running. It sounded interesting, so I applied. Two months later, I was back in corporate.</p><p><em><strong>Both times, the next version of me started with my son, and both times it showed up two months later.</strong></em></p><h3>The One-Word Problem</h3><p>Every time someone asks what I do, I wish I could hand them one word, like counselor or lawyer or accountant. Instead I give them a sentence. Until recently it went like this: I&#8217;m an innovation strategist by day and a leadership coach, mentor, writer and content creator by night. By the end of it, I could watch their eyes glaze over.</p><p>My mother never got a word from me either. When I worked in IT, she understood my job as &#8220;computers.&#8221; I tried to explain more and eventually gave up. She could have told people her daughter was a counselor.</p><p><em><strong>A long introduction is what a curious life sounds like out loud.</strong></em></p><h3>The Hum</h3><p>Underneath all of it is a hum. It sits in the back of my mind and asks the same thing every time: <em><strong>did I disappoint the seventeen-year-old in that hallway?</strong></em></p><p>In Polish we have a phrase for where that hum comes from: <em>co powiedz&#261; ludzie</em>, what will people say. I thought I left it at the airport at 21. It keeps finding its way back, translated into English and pointed at my career.</p><p>Psychologists Jordi Quoidbach, Daniel Gilbert, and Timothy Wilson asked about 19,000 people, ages 18 to 68, how much they had changed in the past ten years and how much they expected to change in the next ten. At every age, people saw plenty of change behind them and very little ahead. <em>The researchers called it the end of history illusion.</em></p><p><em><strong>&#8220;What do you want to be when you grow up?&#8221; falls for the same illusion. It assumes a finish line that nobody, at 18 or at 68, actually crosses.</strong></em></p><h3>Who Am I Becoming?</h3><p>The girl in the hallway had her one word, and it still sent her home crying in Chicago. One word was never going to hold me. These days I ask a different question: <em><strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">who am I becoming?</mark></strong></em></p><p>This fall, that question walked me into a role of innovating career coaching. It started as a placement, and in October it became permanent. Somehow the girl in the hallway ended up close to where she started, in a version she couldn&#8217;t have pictured at seventeen. In 2027, I&#8217;m taking this exact question to a TED stage.</p><p>Back then, I found out counseling didn&#8217;t fit by living it until it broke me down every night. I learned the same way on that global project at GM. Now I find out sooner. <em><strong>I write who I&#8217;m becoming first, early in the morning before the house wakes up. Then I say it out loud and try it on, and I notice how it feels. </strong></em>When it fits, I keep it. If it doesn&#8217;t, I take it off and reach for something else.</p><p>Try it once tonight. By hand and in present tense, write three answers to &#8220;Who am I becoming?&#8221; Circle the one you&#8217;d be embarrassed to say out loud, then say it anyway, and notice what your voice does.</p><p>At seventeen I said it without stopping to think. Now I say it and wait.</p><p><em><strong>I&#8217;m fifty, and I&#8217;m still trying things on.</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong>P.S.</strong> <strong>Post your long introduction in the comments, the whole sentence, nothing trimmed. Let&#8217;s see how many curious lives are in this room.</strong></p><div><hr></div><p><strong>P.P.S.</strong> If tonight&#8217;s exercise stirred something, Writing Lab 101 is where we keep going. In November we write the whole piece, and in December we publish it. The live session is recorded, $57, or included for paid members. </p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/writing-lab-a-3-step-protocol-to&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Join Writing Lab&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/writing-lab-a-3-step-protocol-to"><span>Join Writing Lab</span></a></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Life happens...in stolen moments]]></title><description><![CDATA[A recording from Magdalena Ponurska's live video]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/life-happensin-stolen-moments</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/life-happensin-stolen-moments</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2026 17:23:05 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://api.substack.com/feed/podcast/222939356/32d8cd14e1be350f56659642aaf4d6c2.mp3" length="0" type="audio/mpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>Thank you <span class="mention-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Dr. Kathy Scott&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:60641085,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;user&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@drkathyscott&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d847abfd-ea36-4f55-b101-5b8aadb046e0_961x961.png&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;97859bbc-7db9-4766-9b5c-fc567c704eec&quot;}" data-component-name="MentionToDOM"></span>, <span class="mention-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Christina Ashton M. Ed, CHHC&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:89342972,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;user&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@bearealhuman&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/e6dd2b7b-e698-4025-ae85-103e76d1e06b_1125x936.jpeg&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;3e5e90f7-a585-4933-9226-4f2334cceac2&quot;}" data-component-name="MentionToDOM"></span>, <span class="mention-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Anna P&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:164799269,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;user&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@pepper2956&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/370d1d05-af39-4159-b354-810bfca8ac2e_162x162.jpeg&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;394f96cc-b46c-4707-87d7-699de470cd04&quot;}" data-component-name="MentionToDOM"></span>, <span class="mention-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Ree&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:104091255,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;user&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://substack.com/@reasonablyanxiousree&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/175286d2-343f-4660-93ce-48b3bf0d6baf_840x842.png&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;0157ba3c-fee2-4d76-b78e-8a92cd77a425&quot;}" data-component-name="MentionToDOM"></span>, and many others for tuning into my live video! Join me for my next live video in the app.</p><div class="install-substack-app-embed install-substack-app-embed-web" data-component-name="InstallSubstackAppToDOM"><img class="install-substack-app-embed-img" src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!djyW!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F829a1cf9-60dd-4494-b4b5-836c762b39b7_1264x1264.png"><div class="install-substack-app-embed-text"><div class="install-substack-app-header">Get more from Magdalena Ponurska in the Substack app</div><div class="install-substack-app-text">Available for iOS and Android</div></div><a href="https://substack.com/app/app-store-redirect?utm_campaign=app-marketing&amp;utm_content=author-post-insert&amp;utm_source=magdalenaponurska" target="_blank" class="install-substack-app-embed-link"><button class="install-substack-app-embed-btn button primary">Get the app</button></a></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[3 Steps to Beat Imposter Syndrome When You Write on Lunch Breaks and in Parking Lots]]></title><description><![CDATA[Your brain counts every writing session.]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/3-steps-to-beat-imposter-syndrome</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/3-steps-to-beat-imposter-syndrome</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 31 Oct 2026 13:25:19 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png" width="1200" height="630" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!1zeZ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4d74c8b4-419c-4fe5-a04b-f4b1738a2023_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Most of what I&#8217;ve published in the past two years, I wrote in places nobody would photograph for Instagram.</p><p>The parking lot before work, engine off. Lunch breaks. The car before I picked up my son. Parking lots at sports events, during the game and after it.</p><p>For two years, I wrote before the house woke up and then drove to work. Somewhere between home and the office, I left the word <em>writer</em> behind. The sentence I carried in with me was this one:</p><blockquote><p><em>I&#8217;m not a writer. I just write before work.</em></p></blockquote><p>I was writing every day (at least one sentence) and publishing once or twice a week on Substack, and by this fall more than 10,000 people had subscribed. I still put &#8220;just&#8221; in front of the writing. That&#8217;s writer imposter syndrome in its quietest form: <strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">you do the work and still won&#8217;t let yourself have the title.</mark></strong> Further down are the three steps I use and teach to close that gap, and all three fit in a lunch break.</p><h2>A stranger would have called me a writer</h2><p>In the late 1960s, the psychologist Daryl Bem proposed self-perception theory. His idea is that we figure out who we are partly by watching what we do, the same way we&#8217;d size up a stranger.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>So picture the stranger. A woman pulls into the same parking lot every weekday, turns off the engine, and writes before she goes inside. She does it again at lunch, and again in a parking lot outside a game. You&#8217;d call her a writer without thinking twice.</p></div><p>I&#8217;d been watching that woman for two years. My brain took a lot longer to agree.</p><p>The research stops at the watching. My own claim goes one step further: <strong>each of those stolen sessions was a vote, and identity is the count that comes in last</strong>. You can be a writer in every way that shows and still feel like someone who just writes before work, because the old story has years of votes behind it and the new one is still catching up.</p><h2>The day it caught up</h2><p>A few weeks ago at work, I met few new team members. I told them I&#8217;m an innovation strategist, and then I heard myself add, &#8220;and I&#8217;m a writer and creator.&#8221;</p><p>It rolled off my tongue the way my own name does. I kept going, too. I told them writing is a big part of who I am now, and my new obsession and passion; just like psychology always was. </p><p>Two years of parking lots got me that sentence. </p><h2>Where you&#8217;re probably stuck</h2><p><strong>Your gap might look different</strong>. You might write every week and still tell people you&#8217;re &#8220;trying to get into writing.&#8221; Or the piece is finished, your finger hovers over Publish, and you save it as a draft for tomorrow.</p><p>Both are the same gap. The work has moved and the identity is still back where it started.</p><p>What speeds up the count is casting votes on purpose, and that&#8217;s what <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-20-minute-writing-exercise-that?r=2w5u1j&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web">Future Scripting</a>&#8482; is for.</p><h2>3 steps to cast the vote on purpose</h2><p>I teach this in every workshop.</p><p><strong>See it.</strong> Picture the moment someone asks what you do and you say &#8220;writer&#8221; without flinching. Where are you standing? Who&#8217;s asking?</p><p><strong>Write it.</strong> With a pen, for five minutes, in present tense, as that person: &#8220;I&#8217;m a writer. This morning I wrote in the car before work.&#8221; Your nervous system believes what you write in detail, so give it the parking lot, the time, the cold coffee in the cup holder.</p><p><strong>Act it.</strong> Do one thing this week that person would do. Publish the piece sitting in drafts, or add &#8220;and I&#8217;m a writer&#8221; the next time someone asks what you do.</p><p>You don&#8217;t have to believe it yet. Belief is the last vote to come in.</p><h2>Try this tonight</h2><p>Write down every place you wrote this month. The kitchen table at 5 a.m. counts. So does the car. So does the soccer field.</p><p>Then finish this sentence by hand:</p><p>I&#8217;m a writer, and I write in __________.</p><p>Read it back. A stranger would believe you.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>Write it first. Live it second.</strong></p></div><p><em><strong>P.S. Reply and tell me where you stole your last writing session from. I&#8217;ll start: a parking lot, engine off.</strong></em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p><p><em><strong>P.P.S. If your writing lives in parking lots too, bring it to the <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/writing-lab-a-3-step-protocol-to">Writing Lab</a>. In November&#8217;s live workshop, Step II: Write it, you finish the piece you keep putting &#8220;just&#8221; in front of. One workshop is $57. Paid members get the whole lab and the Academy for $97.</strong></em></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[7 Unexpected Writing Tools You Already Own]]></title><description><![CDATA[Creative ways to actually start, no shopping required.]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/7-unexpected-writing-tools-you-already</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/7-unexpected-writing-tools-you-already</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 29 Oct 2026 11:07:12 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png" width="1200" height="630" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:630,&quot;width&quot;:1200,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:497480,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/222622905?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!oRYq!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F34eadf77-92aa-4011-a2cf-394ae0131664_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>There is a notebook on my nightstand I have never opened. Cream pages, a ribbon down the spine, still sealed in its plastic. I can hear the wrap crackle when I reach past it for the lamp, which is, frankly, the only use it has had.</p><p>Underneath it sits the old one. Cover soft at the corners, three pages written, the rest blank. So that&#8217;s where we are: two notebooks, zero writing, and me telling myself the new one was for the real project.</p><p>Here is what I actually write on. Post-its. Cheap spiral notebooks from the drugstore. Index cards. The napkin under my coffee when an idea shows up before I do. <em><strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">The ribbon notebook was bought for the writer I wanted to look like.</mark></strong></em> <em><strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">The napkins belong to the one who writes.</mark></strong></em></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong>Buying the notebook felt like starting.</strong> So does downloading the app, saving the course for Sunday, and building the perfect folder for drafts you&#8217;ll write once everything is set up. The setup hands you credit for work you haven&#8217;t done yet. Then the credit runs out and you&#8217;re back where you were with one more lovely object on the shelf.</p></div><p><em><strong>So this week, my very unglamorous proposal: buy nothing. Seven objects you already own, a few minutes a day, five days a week</strong></em>. Each one asks you to make something small before you take anything in. Do the whole week if you want it. If seven feels like too many, pick one and start there.</p><h3>The seven</h3><p><em><strong>I. The journal you already half-filled</strong></em></p><p>Find the notebook with three pages written and the rest blank. Open it to the next empty page, write today&#8217;s date, start there. What a stalled project loses is evidence, and those three pages are evidence. Somebody sat down and wrote them, and that somebody was you.</p><p><em><strong>II. A deck of cards</strong></em></p><p>Keep a deck next to your coffee. Tuesday and Thursday, draw one card before the first sip. Suit sets the subject, number sets how many words. Hearts are something you love, spades something you&#8217;re avoiding, diamonds something you want, clubs something you&#8217;re working on. Face cards count as 11, 12, 13. An ace gives you one word on whatever that suit asked about.</p><p>Three of hearts, three words about something you love. Nine of spades, nine words about what you&#8217;ve been putting off. The card answers the question of how much to write, and that question is usually what keeps the page empty.</p><p><em><strong>III. The mirror and a marker</strong></em></p><p>Write one line to yourself on the bathroom mirror with a dry-erase marker. The sentence you need while you brush your teeth. Leave it until it stops being true, then wipe it and write the next one.</p><p><em><strong>IV. Your phone camera</strong></em></p><p>Once a day, photograph something you walk past constantly and have never really looked at. Mine is the one at the top of this piece, a bee on a flower. I took it and kept it, and then it started doing something the notebook never did. It became a toy. &#8220;BEE&#8221; yourself today. Today I&#8217;m not busy, I&#8217;m BEE-sy. Silly reminders I write for myself, and they make me smile every time. The camera already lives in your pocket. This gives it a new job, pointing at the ten feet of hallway you cross forty times a day, and sometimes what it catches turns into a joke you get to keep.</p><p><em><strong>V. Your own bookshelf</strong></em></p><p>Pull any book, open to a random page, copy the last line on it into your journal. That line is now the first line of whatever you write next. Keep going for five minutes. Every reader is pulling from a different shelf, so no two people doing this today start in the same place.</p><p><em><strong>VI. Your voice memo app</strong></em></p><p>Monday, talk to yourself for one minute about the week ahead, including the part you&#8217;re dreading. Don&#8217;t play it back. Friday, listen, and hear which of Monday&#8217;s worries actually showed up. Most of mine don&#8217;t.</p><p><em><strong>VII. The kitchen timer</strong></em></p><p>Mine has never once been used for writing, which is why it works. Four minutes, write until it goes off, stop mid-sentence if that&#8217;s where you are. Short enough that you can&#8217;t talk yourself out of it, long enough that something usually arrives around minute three.</p><p>If yours isn&#8217;t a timer, it&#8217;s something else. Sticky notes, the back of an envelope, the whiteboard nobody uses for groceries.</p><h3>The week</h3><ul><li><p><strong>Every weekday:</strong> one photo.</p></li><li><p><strong>Monday:</strong> voice memo, mirror line.</p></li><li><p><strong>Tuesday and Thursday:</strong> draw a card, write in the journal.</p></li><li><p><strong>Wednesday:</strong> pull a book, borrow its last line.</p></li><li><p><strong>Friday:</strong> play Monday&#8217;s memo, check whether your mirror line still holds.</p></li></ul><p>The timer goes wherever you need it, usually on the morning you don&#8217;t want to do any of this.</p><h3>The part most of us skip</h3><p><em><strong>Writing something once is a wish.</strong></em> Reading it back is where it starts to come true. On Friday you see the line in your own handwriting, or hear Monday&#8217;s worry in your own voice, and you get to check it against the week you actually had.</p><p>The mirror line gets that second look every morning, which is why I&#8217;d keep it over the other six. <em><strong>You write it once, you read it every time you brush your teeth, and after a week you decide whether it still holds.</strong></em></p><h3>Tonight</h3><p>The wrapped notebook stays where it is. I&#8217;m opening the old one and turning to page four. Pick one object and put it where you&#8217;ll trip over it tomorrow morning. The deck on the counter, the marker by the sink. When you see it, use it before you pick up your phone.</p><div class="pullquote"><p><strong>Then pick up your phone and show us your object in the comments.</strong></p></div><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong>Your notebook doesn&#8217;t have to stay blank alone. Come write with us in the </strong><a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/s/writing-lab-and-protocols">Writing Lab</a>.</p><div><hr></div><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Write to Your Friend]]></title><description><![CDATA[[Step I]: See it. Write to the reader who wants you...]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/write-to-your-friend</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/write-to-your-friend</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 26 Oct 2026 01:04:07 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg" width="800" height="800" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:800,&quot;width&quot;:800,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;Cover Image for Writing Lab 101: See It&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="Cover Image for Writing Lab 101: See It" title="Cover Image for Writing Lab 101: See It" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7pFK!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2cbe84be-4513-4eb5-ade4-ab90f4ead347_800x800.jpeg 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><h3>&#128065;&#65039; Step 1 &#183; October: See it. Write to your friend.</h3><p>Most of us write to the critic without noticing. This month you picture the other reader, the one who wants to hear what you have to say, and write the letter they send you after reading your piece. You leave with your reader and your first finished piece.</p></div><p>The last poem I ever wrote in Polish ended up in a garbage can. I was twenty-one. My boyfriend read it and asked why I wasted my time on poetry, and I believed him for twenty years. When I finally started writing again, every sentence was still addressed to him.</p><p>I wasn&#8217;t the only one. On Saturday, with music playing and pencils in hand, we went looking for the other reader.</p><p>(*Names of the participants have been changed)</p><h3>Who are you writing to?</h3><blockquote><p>Three minutes. Describe the person you write to, in as much detail as you can.</p></blockquote><p>Mina, a violin teacher, wrote to herself ten years ago: new to New York, paying twice her old rent for a 100 square foot studio, figuring out how to fit an IKEA desk, a bookshelf and a bed into one room. After years of sharing a kitchen with seven people, she finally had her own. Mina thanked her for finding joy in the middle of all that uncertainty.</p><p>Dan started a letter to his inner five-year-old. Halfway through, he realized the five-year-old was the one holding the pencil.</p><h3>The letter that comes back</h3><blockquote><p>Five minutes. Step one year forward. Write how you feel, in the most real emotions you can name, and write what people are telling you about your work.</p></blockquote><p>Priya got emotional reading hers. Her readers told her that her stories of failure made it okay to pause, breathe, and try again.</p><p>Mina&#8217;s letter began, &#8220;Dear Mina, you did it.&#8221; In it, her twelve violin students play freely, with emotion and confidence, and she is surrounded by a community of emotionally mature, supportive people. I wanted to cry. Happy tears.</p><p>Dan signed his letter &#8220;Little Dan, Boy Wonder, five years old,&#8221; asking grown-up Dan to find him places to shine.</p><p>That&#8217;s Future Scripting&#8482; at work. When you write your reader&#8217;s response in detail, your nervous system starts treating it as real, and the critic loses its seat at your desk.</p><h3>One micro action</h3><p>We closed with one small step. Priya will write her first post and send it to three people. Dan texted a contact about sound work in Grand Rapids before the exercise was over. Mine is a seven-day experiment of delighting and surprising myself with small things. A few days ago I took a walk with no destination. It was unexpected and so much fun.</p><p>I never got that Polish poem back. These days I write in the early morning, before my house wakes up, to the person who embraces me for who I am.</p><h3>What you&#8217;ll leave with</h3><p>The reader who wants to hear from you, the letter they send after your piece, and one micro action on your calendar. Bring a pencil, a blank page, and the piece you pulled from your archives in Step 0.</p><p>Paid members get full access to the recording and workbook below &#128071;</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>Your pen is your permission slip.</strong></em></p></div><p></p>
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   ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[You Don’t Have to Quit Your Job to Rewire Your Brain]]></title><description><![CDATA[Three years of stolen minutes, and the result I left out of the spreadsheet]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/you-dont-have-to-quit-your-job-to</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/you-dont-have-to-quit-your-job-to</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 24 Oct 2026 14:56:16 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CDBk!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9f4e201f-7983-4260-be55-85add160b61c_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="pullquote"><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CDBk!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9f4e201f-7983-4260-be55-85add160b61c_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CDBk!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9f4e201f-7983-4260-be55-85add160b61c_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CDBk!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9f4e201f-7983-4260-be55-85add160b61c_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!CDBk!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F9f4e201f-7983-4260-be55-85add160b61c_1200x630.png 1272w, 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class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><em><strong>&#8220;Writers write, creators create, I just work.&#8221; ~ Magdalena Ponurska circa 2023</strong></em></p></div><p>For most of my adult life, that sentence ran quietly underneath everything I did. Work was the one thing I knew how to do, and I did a lot of it.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>Last week I showed you my numbers. A year ago, in October 2025, <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/how-treating-my-substack-like-a-petri?r=2w5u1j&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web">Courage to Create had 984 subscribers, and today it has 10,200.</a> One result didn&#8217;t make it into that post because it doesn&#8217;t fit in a spreadsheet. I don&#8217;t say that sentence (&#8220;I just work&#8221;) anymore. A few weeks ago at work, I was meeting new team members, and I heard myself say, &#8220;I&#8217;m an innovation strategist,&#8221; and then, without stopping, &#8220;and I&#8217;m a writer and creator.&#8221; The second half rolled right off my tongue, as easily as the first.</p></div><p>I work full time in a FinTech organization. Add the commute, and fifty to sixty hours of my week belongs to someone else before I write a word. Whatever time is left over is where I rewire my brain. Most mornings I write before the house wakes up, and on workdays I squeeze in a few more lines in the parking lot before I walk into the office. The car is my desk at lunch, before school pickup, and in parking lots during my son&#8217;s games.</p><p><em><strong>Maybe you&#8217;ve decided the real writing starts later, once the kids are older or once you can finally leave your job. You don&#8217;t have to wait for that version of your life. My brain changed inside this one.</strong></em></p><h4>Where &#8220;I just work&#8221; came from</h4><p>At twenty-one, a few months after I arrived from Poland, I handed a boyfriend the poem I had just written. He read it and said, &#8220;This is really stupid, why do you waste your time on poetry?&#8221; I threw the page in a garbage can on my way out. That was the last poem I ever wrote in Polish, and I didn&#8217;t write again for more than twenty years.</p><blockquote><p><strong>&#8220;I just work&#8221; grew out of that night. It felt safer to be good at something nobody could call stupid.</strong></p></blockquote><p>His sentence started it, and I kept it going. <em>Every year I didn&#8217;t write, I practiced being a woman who doesn&#8217;t write, and by the time I came back to the page, that version of me had two decades of repetitions behind her.</em></p><h4>What your brain does with repetition</h4><p>In 2004, a team of researchers taught adults to juggle for three months and scanned their brains before and after. The areas that track motion grew. When the volunteers stopped juggling, those same areas shrank back toward where they started.</p><p>I read that study as a story about both of my lives. For twenty years, I was the volunteer who put the balls down. Whatever writing had built in me faded a little more each year, <em><strong>while &#8220;I just work&#8221; got all the practice.</strong></em> Your brain builds what you use and lets go of what you don&#8217;t. <em><strong>It will believe &#8220;I am a writer&#8221; only after it has evidence, and writing is the only evidence it accepts.</strong></em></p><h4>The evidence I collected</h4><p>Six months after I started publishing on Substack, in March 2025, more people were unsubscribing than subscribing, and I almost stopped. The old sentence was right there waiting, ready to tell me I had been right all along and should go back to just working. Instead, I turned each post into an experiment and changed one thing at a time, sometimes the headline, sometimes the hour I published, sometimes the format.</p><p>Somewhere along the way, I started to see myself differently, and I remember the moment it began. I was sitting on the swing in my garden when my phone lit up with a notification that I had my first paid subscriber. His name is <span class="mention-wrap" data-attrs="{&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Bob Lewis&quot;,&quot;id&quot;:2694798,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;user&quot;,&quot;url&quot;:null,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5f24e6f7-1060-440f-801b-df48ceb01cf0_604x453.jpeg&quot;,&quot;uuid&quot;:&quot;f2c4a54a-0f71-4388-be58-07b7b431deb3&quot;}" data-component-name="MentionToDOM"></span>, and I broke down crying right there in the garden. A stranger had looked at my work and decided it was worth paying for. He believed in me before I fully did.</p><p>I have written every day for three years. One morning a 102&#176;F fever kept me in bed, too weak to move and half delirious; all I remember is writing one sentence: &#8220;I am a writer and a creator, and I write every day.&#8221; Then I put the notebook and pencil down, and fell right back into sleep. Even with a fever, that was the sentence my brain reached for, and it counted. It was tallying the rep and had no opinion about the quality.</p><h4>Your stolen minutes</h4><p>If you&#8217;re the reader who wrote to me about two busy weeks of showing up for 15 or 30 minutes late at night, frustrated that you couldn&#8217;t do more, those late-night minutes did for you what my early mornings did for me. You were building the wiring one short session at a time.</p><p>And if that wasn&#8217;t you, you have a window like that somewhere in your week too. <em><strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">One repetition inside it is enough to start.</mark></strong></em></p><p>Tonight, write down the sentence you&#8217;ve been living by about who you are. </p><p>Mine was &#8220;I just work.&#8221; </p><p>Underneath it, write the new one in present tense, the way I did with a fever. </p><p>Then do one small thing tomorrow that proves it, small enough to fit inside the shortest window you have, and write down what happened.</p><p><strong>Tell me in the comments: where are your stolen minutes? I read every one of them! </strong></p><p>Magdalena</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><em>P.S. If what you write in those minutes keeps ending up in a drawer, the <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/s/writing-lab-and-protocols">Writing Lab</a> is where we finish it and publish it.</em></p><div><hr></div><div class="digest-post-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;nodeId&quot;:&quot;b4b675f6-5c4a-4c55-b530-c126baa6b133&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;Your brain changed a little while you read that sentence.&quot;,&quot;cta&quot;:null,&quot;showBylines&quot;:true,&quot;showDescription&quot;:true,&quot;showImage&quot;:true,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;sm&quot;,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Once you understand neuroplasticity, you stop waiting to feel ready&quot;,&quot;publishedBylines&quot;:[{&quot;id&quot;:174952279,&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Magdalena Ponurska&quot;,&quot;bio&quot;:&quot;Mother who rewired her life with a notebook and won't shut up about it. Innovation Strategist by day, founder of Courage to Create. Identity, neuroscience, and building something real in stolen moments.&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ff5e960c-b098-4956-8a28-94f942f9c87e_1048x1048.png&quot;,&quot;is_guest&quot;:false,&quot;bestseller_tier&quot;:100}],&quot;post_date&quot;:&quot;2026-06-10T09:05:08.847Z&quot;,&quot;cover_image&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!vFQh!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe8860d2c-e0e3-4203-8e40-77c486e6f4b5_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;cover_image_alt&quot;:null,&quot;cover_image_crop&quot;:null,&quot;canonical_url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/once-you-understand-neuroplasticity&quot;,&quot;section_name&quot;:&quot;&#128213; Future Scripting Method&quot;,&quot;video_upload_id&quot;:null,&quot;id&quot;:201392212,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;newsletter&quot;,&quot;reaction_count&quot;:4116,&quot;comment_count&quot;:220,&quot;publication_id&quot;:2026653,&quot;publication_name&quot;:&quot;Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;publication_logo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!djyW!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F829a1cf9-60dd-4494-b4b5-836c762b39b7_1264x1264.png&quot;,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;youtube_url&quot;:null,&quot;show_links&quot;:null,&quot;feed_url&quot;:null}"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[How Treating My Substack Like a Petri Dish Took Me from 0 to 10,177 Subscribers]]></title><description><![CDATA[A former psychology lab assistant on reading every flop as a result]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/how-treating-my-substack-like-a-petri</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/how-treating-my-substack-like-a-petri</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 20 Oct 2026 09:05:40 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png" width="1200" height="630" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!E6Zg!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2362fc7b-66a2-4d2c-85bb-4e4653d30d90_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div 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fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>On Friday evening, I opened my weekend calendar and felt my chest tighten and my stomach drop. I had five coaching calls on Saturday and four more on Sunday.</p><p>I work full time. Add the commute to forty hours at the office, and fifty hours of my week are spoken for before I write a single word. Everything I build here happens in stolen time: before the house wakes up, in parking lots, wherever I can find ten quiet minutes.</p><blockquote><p>I stared at those nine calls and a thought slipped in. Am I going to burn out?</p></blockquote><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>So I decided to test it. I would go into the weekend curious, as if each conversation could teach me something about myself, and see how I felt by Sunday night.</p></div><h3>What I heard on the calls</h3><p>Call after call, I heard a version of the same story. People know they want to write and create. They want to coach, consult or launch the paid tier. They still aren&#8217;t doing it, and they can&#8217;t figure out why.</p><p>One writer has his paid subscription ready to switch on. He told me he&#8217;s afraid people will pay, and then he&#8217;ll have to deliver.</p><p>Another stepped away from Substack this year after a project he cared about fizzled. He took it personally, as if the result said something about who he is.</p><blockquote><p><strong>Both of them can picture what&#8217;s possible. Neither feels ready for it to arrive.</strong></p></blockquote><h3>What a lab knows about failure</h3><p>One of Saturday&#8217;s calls was with a researcher who spends his days in a lab. He described six hours of sample prep for a single run, and a leak that once contaminated his data. In the lab, a result like that means you repeat the experiment. When our conversation moved from his work to his own life, he apologized for over explaining. I told him, &#8220;It&#8217;s not over explaining. It&#8217;s reporting results of the experiments that you are running.&#8221;</p><p><em><strong>His next sentence sounded like a lab note: he had expected to be having fun, and he wasn&#8217;t. Somewhere in that conversation I said out loud that I love the idea of life as a Petri dish, and I haven&#8217;t stopped thinking about it since.</strong></em></p><p>I worked in a lab once too. As a psychology undergrad, I ran participants through experiments comparing collectivistic and individualistic cultures, reading the same standardized script to every person who sat down across from me. Participants didn&#8217;t show up, misunderstood the task, or gave answers we had to throw out, far more often than I ever expected. My lab had no Petri dishes, but it ran on the same rule as his. A lost session told us something about the setup. It said nothing about the person running it.</p><h3>What my own numbers show</h3><p>People ask me how I did it. In October 2025, Courage to Create had 984 subscribers. Today it has 10,177. My answer disappoints them a little. I wrote every day, kept showing up, and treated posts as an experiment.</p><p><em><strong>Most of those experiments failed, and I mean that literally. When I pulled my numbers this month, about 450 of my Notes had brought one or two subscribers each. A typical essay brings zero to two. Seven Letters from the In-Between, published as regular posts, brought one new subscriber between them. Search and social media together brought 70 all year.</strong></em></p><p>Then one essay, &#8220;Once you understand neuroplasticity, you stop waiting to feel ready,&#8221; published on June 10, reached 53,006 views and brought 686 signups. Notes brought about 4,900 subscribers, and two of them did roughly half of that work. One shared an essay. The other told my story of living two lives, corporate strategist by day and identity architect by night, and it brought just as many readers.</p><h3>Your Substack is a Petri dish</h3><p><em><strong>Every post you publish is a sample. A post with three likes tells you something about the topic, the headline, or the timing. When a paid tier brings in two subscribers, you have a result to study. Each result is data about the experiment. It says nothing about whether you&#8217;re a real writer.</strong></em></p><p>The writer with the paid tier could switch it on as a 30-day experiment: deliver one thing to whoever shows up, watch what they respond to, and adjust. The one who stepped away could count that fizzled project as one sample in a long series.</p><h3>Sunday night</h3><p>By Sunday night, after the ninth call, I felt energized. The burnout I had braced for on Friday never showed up.</p><p>On Saturday&#8217;s call with the researcher, I heard myself say, &#8220;My experiments are as important to myself as they are important to other people.&#8221; I meant it. After nine calls of giving and experimenting,  that sentence was the result worth writing down.</p><p><em><strong>If you&#8217;ve been waiting on something you want to make, <mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">it deserves a place on your calendar next to everyone else&#8217;s.</mark> Pick one thing. Make it small enough to finish before your coffee gets cold. Run it this week as an experiment, and write down what happened.</strong></em></p><p>Then tell me in the comments: <em><strong>what are you putting in your Petri dish?</strong></em></p><p>Magdalena</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><em>P.S. If the thing you&#8217;ve been waiting on is already written, sitting in your archive or at the bottom of a drawer, that&#8217;s what the <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/s/writing-lab-and-protocols">Writing Lab</a> is for. We finish the essays, articles, and books you started, and we publish them while the inner critic is still talking.</em></p><div><hr></div><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Why Introverts Who Hate Small Talk End Up With 4 Close Friends]]></title><description><![CDATA[1,000 hellos, 200+ hours per friendship, and a 20-minute pen exercise.]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/why-introverts-who-hate-small-talk</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/why-introverts-who-hate-small-talk</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 15 Oct 2026 09:05:42 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!m4jv!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F26c00331-c049-4c94-9592-76d3c8011691_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!m4jv!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F26c00331-c049-4c94-9592-76d3c8011691_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!m4jv!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F26c00331-c049-4c94-9592-76d3c8011691_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!m4jv!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F26c00331-c049-4c94-9592-76d3c8011691_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!m4jv!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F26c00331-c049-4c94-9592-76d3c8011691_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!m4jv!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F26c00331-c049-4c94-9592-76d3c8011691_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>One of my mentors at General Motors looked at me and said, </p><blockquote><p>&#8220;Magdalena, your networking skills really suck.&#8221;</p></blockquote><p>He said it plainly, then moved on to the next topic. I didn&#8217;t move on. Coming from someone I trusted with my career, that sentence rode along in my car to every event for years, and it got louder the second I walked into a room and heard the hum of a hundred conversations already in progress.</p><p>In September of 2025 I started a new job, and I decided to finally test it. For twelve months I said yes to every coffee, panel, and introduction that came my way, and by the end of the year I had met roughly 1,000 new people.</p><p>Four of them stayed. They&#8217;re still here, and we&#8217;re still putting in the hours.</p><p>A 2018 study on friendship showed me that four was close to what I should have expected all along.</p><h4><strong>The hypothesis</strong></h4><p><em><strong>I&#8217;m an introvert, and I say so out loud. Give me one person and two hours and I&#8217;m happy. Put a name tag on my chest and a cup of lukewarm coffee in my hand, and some quiet part of me starts mapping the exits.</strong></em></p><p>Before I wrote essays, coached or ran workshops, I studied psychology and worked in a research lab. I sat in the experimenter&#8217;s chair and ran participants myself, reading from a standardized script word for word, so the only thing that changed was the thing we were testing. <em><strong>That chair taught me a habit I still have: a hunch doesn&#8217;t count until you test it.</strong></em></p><p>&#8220;You suck at networking&#8221; became my hypothesis. The experiment was simple. Say yes for a year and see if enough reps could turn me into one of those people who glide through a room and leave with forty new contacts and a smile that never gets tired.</p><h4><strong>What a thousand hellos cost</strong></h4><p>One introduction costs almost nothing. </p><p>A thousand of them add up like a tax&#8230;My cheeks ached from smiling. By the end of most evenings my voice was scratchy from talking over the noise. <em>I&#8217;d come home after hours of perfectly good conversations with perfectly nice people and feel wrung out, like a phone at two percent. I kept going anyway</em>. Depth was what I wanted, and for a whole year I chased the opposite as fast as I could.</p><h4><strong>The count</strong></h4><p>At the end the 12 months I did what you do at the end of any experiment. I looked at the data. A thousand people, give or take. Then I asked a harder question: who did I let past the surface? Who would I call on a bad day?</p><blockquote><p><em><strong>I wrote down four names, and I didn&#8217;t have to think about a single one.</strong></em></p></blockquote><h4><strong>The research that made it make sense</strong></h4><p>In 2018, a University of Kansas communication professor named Jeffrey Hall published a study in the Journal of Social and Personal Relationships. Earlier research had shown that time together matters for connection. Hall&#8217;s university called his the first study of its kind, because he actually counted the hours.</p><p>His numbers: roughly 50 hours together to move from acquaintance to casual friend, 90 hours to reach plain friend, and more than 200 hours before someone becomes a close friend. He also found that hours spent working together don&#8217;t count as much.</p><p>Now do the math on my year. Turning a thousand people into close friends would take 200,000 hours. A year holds about 8,760 hours, sleep included. My experiment could never have produced a thousand real connections, and I&#8217;d been grading myself against a number no human could hit.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>Even the four needed more than one year. By end of the 12 months I hadn&#8217;t come close to 200 hours with any of them. What the year gave me were the moments that told me these four were worth the hours. The friendships are still growing, and so is the count.</p></div><p>Research on friendship layers, built on anthropologist Robin Dunbar&#8217;s work, adds the second piece: most of us keep about five people in our closest circle.</p><p>Four sits right under that ceiling. I almost filed my result as a failure. It was ordinary human wiring.</p><h4><strong>My board of directors</strong></h4><p>I started calling those four people my board of directors. They get a vote in my life, and every one of them is still earning the seat, the same way I&#8217;m earning mine with them.</p><div class="collapsed-content" data-collapsed-content="true" data-expand-label="Show more" data-collapse-label="Show less"><details class="collapsed-content-details"><summary class="collapsed-content-toggle"><span class="collapsed-content-toggle-button"><span class="collapsed-content-toggle-label collapsed-content-toggle-label-more">Show more</span><span class="collapsed-content-toggle-label collapsed-content-toggle-label-less">Show less</span></span></summary><div class="collapsed-content-body"><p>Maria is my mentor, which still makes me smile, considering this whole story started with a mentor telling me what I was bad at. With her I get the conversation I spent the entire year starving for. Our best talks happened on walks, or sitting out in the sunshine, telling each other we were just trying to get more vitamin D. Somewhere along the way we started comparing our life stories and found so much overlap that we could finish each other&#8217;s sentences about what happened when we each came to America. I&#8217;d start in on the fifty dollars and the paper dictionary, and she&#8217;d already be nodding before I got to the end. After a thousand introductions that stayed shallow on purpose, sitting in the sun with Maria felt like finally exhaling.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)" title="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><p>Robert is the person I told, out loud, that for me trust is earned - and that I just blindly can&#8217;t trust people. I was driving home, and I had just found out about major changes that shook up our whole team. I called him from the car. It&#8217;s a hard sentence for me to say, and I said it anyway. He didn&#8217;t take it personally, and he didn&#8217;t try to talk me out of it. Robert gave me permission to say it and the space to process the shock of everything that had just changed. Because he never pushed, the trust came anyway, slowly, the way real trust comes. He earned it.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)" title="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><p>Jennifer let me be vulnerable, and I can tell you the exact table where it happened&#8230;It was a small Italian place, the kind where the bread arrives before you&#8217;ve opened the menu and the whole room smells like garlic and warm tomato. We each ordered pasta and a glass of red wine. Steam was still curling off the plates when we started talking, and for the first half hour neither of us touched the wine because the words were coming too fast.</p><p>Both of us are working moms, and that night we compared notes. Her week sounded exactly like mine. She was the family Uber, driving from one activity to the next with a work call on speaker, and so was I. We were both the cook throwing dinner together at seven and the one folding laundry long after the kids were asleep. Under all of it sat the same quiet fear: missing the game, the recital, the moment our kids would remember we weren&#8217;t there for.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:null,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:null,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:null,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)" title="https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png (1584&#215;200)" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><p>The day I understood John, it felt like 110 degrees outside, and the air was thick with black smoke drifting down from the Canadian wildfires. The sky had gone a dirty gray, and every breath tasted like a campfire. I needed to get to my son, and I had no way to get there on my own.</p><p>I asked John, and he said yes right away. He picked me up and drove me himself through all that heat and haze, and he got me there on time to meet my son.</p><p>What John offers is safety. Whatever I ask him, he shows up and comes through. I don&#8217;t have to wonder whether it&#8217;s too much, and that certainty is rarer than any business card I collected all year.</p><p></p></div></details></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>When I put the four of them side by side, I see one pattern. Each of them met me after the polished version wore off. Maria skipped the small talk, Robert let my distrust stand, Jennifer heard what I hadn&#8217;t told anyone, and John showed up without making me earn it first. None of them needed the networkable me.</p></div><h4><strong>The experiment worked. The premise was wrong.</strong></h4><p>I set out to fix myself because a mentor said I was bad at collecting people. Somewhere in the count I changed what I was measuring, from how many people I met to how many I let in, and that change was the real finding. The data pointed me to the 200-hour kind of connection, and that kind was always going to be rare. Every seat on my board holds the deep connection I knew I was built for before I walked into the first room.</p><p>I won&#8217;t pretend the year was easy. It was exhausting, and networking at that pace will probably always cost me more than it costs the people who love it. I&#8217;m still glad I did it, because those four people didn&#8217;t knock on my door. I found them by walking into rooms that scared me and saying yes long after I wanted to go home. Now I keep them by showing up for the hours.</p><h4><strong>How to find your board: a 20-minute pen exercise</strong></h4><p>Grab a pen and paper. Typing lets you skim past the truth; handwriting slows you down enough to see it.</p><ol><li><p><strong>Write down the sentence.</strong> Copy the exact words someone said about how you connect. On paper, a verdict turns into a hypothesis, and hypotheses can be tested.</p></li><li><p><strong>Count differently.</strong> List the people you could call crying at eleven at night. Stop when you run out, and don&#8217;t pad the list.</p></li><li><p><strong>Name what each one gives you.</strong> Write one specific thing per person. &#8220;Deep conversation&#8221; is a start. &#8220;He lets me admit I don&#8217;t trust people&#8221; is better.</p></li><li><p><strong>Write the empty seat in present tense.</strong> If there&#8217;s something none of them gives you yet, write it as though it already happened: &#8220;I have someone who tells me the truth about my work before I publish it.&#8221; In my experience, once you describe the seat in detail, you start noticing who could fill it.</p></li><li><p><strong>Invite one person for an hour.</strong> Pick the person you keep thinking about after the parking lot, and ask. Hall put it plainly: &#8220;You can&#8217;t make people spend time with you, but you can invite them.&#8221;</p></li></ol><p><em><strong>If someone told you that you suck at networking, count before you believe them. A small number might mean you&#8217;re built for depth.</strong></em></p><p>It took me a thousand people to find four.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><em><strong>P.S. Tell me in the comments: how many seats are on your board, and what does one of those people give you that nobody else does?</strong></em></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><em>P.P.S. That networking year taught me to treat my own life like a lab: pick a hypothesis, run it honestly, read the data. The same loop works on a stuck draft, so I turned it into a protocol for writers. If you want to run your own experiment on the page, start with the <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/s/writing-lab-and-protocols">Writing Lab here</a>.</em></p><p></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Writing Lab: A 3-Step Protocol to Find, Finish, and Publish Your Best Work]]></title><description><![CDATA[[Start Here] Writing Lab 101]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/writing-lab-a-3-step-protocol-to</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/writing-lab-a-3-step-protocol-to</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 11 Oct 2026 17:51:19 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png" width="1436" height="1172" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:1172,&quot;width&quot;:1436,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:664490,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/219890217?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!GqrF!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F22b5ee87-2462-4e59-ab38-198c97c89431_1436x1172.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>See it. Write it. Live it (Publish it)</strong></em></p></div><p>You already have all the pieces. Some live in journals, some in notes on your phone, and one is sitting at the bottom of a drawer because you were afraid to publish it. You don&#8217;t need another writing course. You need a protocol and permission to experiment! </p><blockquote><p>That is what this lab is.</p></blockquote><p>The Writing Lab runs <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-20-minute-writing-exercise-that">Future Scripting</a>&#8482; one move at a time, a month for each. In <strong>October </strong>you see it in your mind&#8217;s eye. <strong>November</strong> is for writing it down with your pen. By <strong>December</strong> you live it as though it already happened, which here means you hit publish.</p><p><strong>Step 0 &#183; Find the Gold in Your Archives</strong><br><em><a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/find-the-gold-in-your-archives?r=2w5u1j&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web">Free recording and workbook</a></em><br>Go back through what you&#8217;ve already written and pull out the pieces you stopped opening. One of them is the piece you&#8217;ll publish in December.</p><div class="digest-post-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;nodeId&quot;:&quot;f04839cc-5653-4237-ac8d-87b437c3ceeb&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;Pencil in hand&quot;,&quot;cta&quot;:null,&quot;showBylines&quot;:true,&quot;showDescription&quot;:true,&quot;showImage&quot;:true,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;sm&quot;,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Find the Gold in Your Archives&quot;,&quot;publishedBylines&quot;:[{&quot;id&quot;:174952279,&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Magdalena Ponurska&quot;,&quot;bio&quot;:&quot;Mother who rewired her life with a notebook and won't shut up about it. Innovation Strategist by day, founder of Courage to Create. Identity, neuroscience, and building something real in stolen moments.&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ff5e960c-b098-4956-8a28-94f942f9c87e_1048x1048.png&quot;,&quot;is_guest&quot;:false,&quot;bestseller_tier&quot;:100}],&quot;post_date&quot;:&quot;2026-09-29T01:35:23.332Z&quot;,&quot;cover_image&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;cover_image_alt&quot;:null,&quot;cover_image_crop&quot;:null,&quot;canonical_url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/find-the-gold-in-your-archives&quot;,&quot;section_name&quot;:&quot;&#129522; Writing Lab 101&quot;,&quot;video_upload_id&quot;:null,&quot;id&quot;:217930337,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;newsletter&quot;,&quot;reaction_count&quot;:5,&quot;comment_count&quot;:0,&quot;publication_id&quot;:2026653,&quot;publication_name&quot;:&quot;Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;publication_logo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!djyW!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F829a1cf9-60dd-4494-b4b5-836c762b39b7_1264x1264.png&quot;,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;youtube_url&quot;:null,&quot;show_links&quot;:null,&quot;feed_url&quot;:null}"></div><p><strong>Step I &#183; October: See it. Write to your friend.</strong><br>Most of us write to the critic without noticing. This month you picture the other reader, the one who wants to hear what you have to say, and write the letter they send you after reading your piece. You leave with your reader and your first finished piece.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://luma.com/vc8h22pe&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;October: Step I&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://luma.com/vc8h22pe"><span>October: Step I</span></a></p><p><strong>Step II &#183; November: Write it. Write like you mean it.</strong></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><br><em>&#8220;The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.&#8221;</em> ~Theodore Roosevelt</p></div><p>In October you stopped writing for the person in the stands. In November you step onto the court and write the whole piece, including the parts you&#8217;ve been softening. You leave with your second finished piece.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://luma.com/otng1vd8&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;November: Step II&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://luma.com/otng1vd8"><span>November: Step II</span></a></p><p><strong>Step III &#183; December: Live it. Publish it.</strong><br>The piece from the bottom of your drawer goes out into the world. You say your publish date out loud in front of the group, then you keep it.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://luma.com/fndfauuy&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;December: Step III&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://luma.com/fndfauuy"><span>December: Step III</span></a></p><p>Each step comes with one live workshop on Zoom, recorded. The best pieces from the lab get published in Courage to Create.</p><p><strong>Your pen is your permission slip. </strong></p><div><hr></div><h3><strong>One workshop/step is $57.  Paid members get all of Writing Lab + Courage to Create Academy for $97 &#128071;</strong></h3><p><strong>Every workshop, workbook, and replay lives in the Writing Lab 101 Student Hub &#128071;</strong><br><a href="https://magdalenaponurska.notion.site/Student-Hub-Writing-Lab-101-3f6a12fa606a81c89cb5da250f606412?source=copy_link">[Student Hub] Writing Lab 101</a></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Your Brain Decided Whether You’d Write Today Before Breakfast]]></title><description><![CDATA[A pincher in my coffee, a neuropsychologist from 1951, and the script you run on yourself every morning.]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/your-brain-decided-whether-youd-write</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/your-brain-decided-whether-youd-write</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 08 Oct 2026 08:05:04 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png" width="1200" height="630" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:630,&quot;width&quot;:1200,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:543206,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/219353802?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ia-H!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fef70a5a0-3104-4586-8cde-24d6063f844a_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><p>The kitchen was dark. Light came in from the hallway, enough to find the mug on the counter, not enough to see inside it. I was standing there, not quite awake, and I took a sip.</p><blockquote><p>Something was in my mouth.</p></blockquote><p>It was plump and smooth and round, sitting snug against my tongue. My first thought arrived calm and reasonable: a piece of coffee bean must have slipped through. That&#8217;s what you&#8217;d expect to find in coffee, so that&#8217;s the answer my brain handed me.</p><blockquote><p>I didn&#8217;t swallow. Instead I spit it into my palm, turned toward the hallway light, and looked.</p></blockquote><p>It was a pincher, an earwig.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>I shuddered. My whole body answered before a single thought showed up about germs, or how long it had been floating in there, or why of all the mugs in the world it picked mine. A shudder from the spine out, and then a long rinse at the sink while the rest of the coffee went cold.</p></div><p>I would have swallowed it. My body flagged that pincher as wrong before I had a word for it, and still the first word my brain offered was &#8220;coffee bean.&#8221; I was one second away from accepting that answer and getting on with my morning.</p><p>Two things were running at once. One caught the intruder. The other told me a comfortable story about it.</p><h3>Primed before you act</h3><p>In 1951, long before anyone was selling morning routines on Instagram, a neuropsychologist named Karl Lashley published a paper called &#8220;The Problem of Serial Order in Behavior.&#8221; The popular view back then treated behavior like a row of dominoes. A stimulus knocks over a response, that response knocks over the next one, and so on down the line.</p><p>Lashley didn&#8217;t buy it. He argued that the brain organizes behavior ahead of time through central plans, and that the state of your nervous system predisposes you toward certain responses before anything happens to trigger them. Researchers who trace the history of <strong>priming, the idea that one thing prepares you for the next, point back to him as the person who introduced the term in this sense:</strong> something that makes a response more likely before you ever make it.</p><p>Here&#8217;s how I&#8217;d put it if we were sitting across a table with coffee (one we had both looked into first):</p><blockquote><p><strong>You are primed before you act.</strong></p></blockquote><p>My brain was primed for &#8220;coffee bean.&#8221; Every cup I&#8217;d ever drunk had trained it to expect coffee, so when something strange landed on my tongue, the expectation answered first.</p><p>The priming happens either way. Nobody sat me down and installed &#8220;coffee bean.&#8221; It piled up on its own, one ordinary morning at a time. So the real choice is whether you decide what you&#8217;re primed for or inherit whatever accumulated while you weren&#8217;t paying attention.</p><p>Attention research points in the same direction. You&#8217;ve probably heard the pop version: buy a red car and suddenly red cars are everywhere. That story usually gets pinned on a single structure in the brainstem, and it&#8217;s tidier than the evidence. The actual finding is quieter and more useful. Your attention is selective, and something upstream of your awareness decides what reaches you.</p><h3>The script you run on yourself</h3><p>I studied psychology as an undergrad and spent a lot of hours in a research lab running participants through experiments. Every one of them heard the same instructions from a standardized script, word for word, in the same order. We guarded that script carefully, because a small change in what people heard first could tilt what they did next.</p><blockquote><p><strong>I have rarely been that careful with the script I run on myself.</strong></p></blockquote><p><em><strong>When you tell yourself you&#8217;re a person who writes, your attention starts working on your behalf.</strong></em> All day it collects material without asking permission: a line overheard in a meeting, the way someone&#8217;s voice changed mid-sentence, a pincher in the coffee. It arrives already tagged as usable. You don&#8217;t have to hunt for it.</p><p>The opposite works just as efficiently. <em><strong>Tell yourself &#8220;I&#8217;m too busy to write&#8221; and your brain goes to work on that, too. By noon it will hand you a flawless case: the meetings, the dishes, the email that needed an answer by five, the ride someone needed.</strong></em> Every piece of evidence will be real, and by evening you&#8217;ll be completely convinced, and technically correct.</p><blockquote><p><strong>You find what you&#8217;re scanning for.</strong></p></blockquote><p>It compounds, too. Once you&#8217;ve loaded yourself as someone who writes, every finished page becomes evidence, and your brain goes looking for more of it. Each page makes the next one more likely. I know this as the morning I sat down to write and found the sentence already waiting.</p><p><strong>None of this requires magic or a vision board.</strong> It asks for one small, deliberate act before the day gets loud: choose what you&#8217;re scanning for, on purpose.</p><p>I&#8217;m going to look into my mug from now on. That part is settled. The bigger change is what I say to myself on the way to the kitchen, because by the time the mug is in my hand, my brain has already decided whether I&#8217;ll write today. It&#8217;s going to decide before breakfast either way.</p><blockquote><p><strong>I&#8217;d rather get there first.</strong></p></blockquote><p><strong>What did you almost swallow this week, the comfortable answer your brain handed you before you looked?</strong> Tell me in the comments. I read everyone of them!</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p><p><strong>P.S.</strong> Want to decide what your brain is primed for before breakfast? That&#8217;s the work we do in the <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/s/academy-and-resources">Courage to Create Academy</a>, with a live Future Scripting&#8482; workshop every month plus every recording and workbook. A year costs $77. <strong><a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/s/academy-and-resources">Join here</a></strong></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Chemistry of Courage]]></title><description><![CDATA[One chemical makes you quit. Three can help you keep going.]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-chemistry-of-courage</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-chemistry-of-courage</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 04 Oct 2026 16:57:28 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png" width="1200" height="630" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:630,&quot;width&quot;:1200,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:502318,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/218801665?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ZBdB!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2003bf8d-e733-4be8-bdfa-738a6a58c464_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p></p><p>Strangers gave my first short video four seconds before they scrolled away. I had memorized every line. After I pressed post, I checked the stats over and over for the next two hours. Twenty-four hours later, I gave up and decided I was done making videos.</p><p>At a recent workshop, Peter told us almost the same story, except his strangers stayed for eight seconds. He laughed a little, the way we laugh at the things that still sting. His script went into a cubby next to his journals and hundreds of notes on his phone, and he abounded making videos, as well.</p><p>When he said it, I thought about the lab.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>As a psychology undergrad, I ran participants for a study comparing people from collectivistic and individualistic cultures. I read each person the same standardized script, word for word, every single time. For a long time the data said nothing, and the study kept running anyway. The protocol had been set before the first participant walked in. It decided how long we&#8217;d collect and what would count as a result, and nobody got to rewrite it halfway through because the numbers looked thin.</p></div><p>Neither Peter nor I had a protocol. We each had one post, a sample nobody in that lab would have called a result, and we stood alone with it while our bodies made the call.</p><p><strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">Most of us run our creative lives the same way.</mark> We post, we wait, and we let the first thin numbers decide whether we keep going.</strong></p><p>The video wasn&#8217;t the first time I let one result decide. Shortly after I arrived in America, at twenty-one, I handed my boyfriend the newest poem I had written in Polish. He read it and said, &#8220;This is really stupid, why do you waste your time on poetry?&#8221; I walked out and dropped the page into a garbage can on my way. It was the last poem I ever wrote in Polish, and I didn&#8217;t write anything again for more than twenty years.</p><p><em><strong>For a long time I believed that moment proved something about me. Today I&#8217;d file it as a single trial. My brain read a threat, my body protected me, and I let one data point decide the next two decades.</strong></em></p><p><strong>Courage has a chemistry</strong>. Once you can see it working, you can do what good researchers do: set your protocol while you&#8217;re calm, so a few seconds of chemistry can&#8217;t rewrite it.</p><h3>1. Cortisol is why your draft is in a drawer</h3><p><em>Rejection registers as danger, so your brain protects you by making you quit.</em></p><p>When your brain senses social threat, your stress response floods you with adrenaline and cortisol. Your heart pounds, your cheeks get hot, and your focus narrows to one question: how do I get out of here? That reaction is useful when a dinosaur walks into your kitchen. It is far less useful when the dinosaur is a comment, a silence, or a number on a screen.</p><p>Stress chemistry also dampens your prefrontal cortex, the part of your brain that plans, weighs options, and imagines what could be [1]. That makes the moment right after a rejection the worst possible time to decide what your work is worth, and it&#8217;s exactly when most of us decide. Four seconds of scrolling was all the evidence my brain needed. Peter&#8217;s needed eight.</p><p><strong>This is the moment a protocol exists for.</strong> The calm version of you, the one who hasn&#8217;t seen a single number yet, should decide when your work gets judged. Cortisol can&#8217;t reach that version.</p><p>Joan, another writer in the workshop, felt the same pull when an agent waved off the book she wrote for teenagers as old-fashioned. She came to the session with that word still ringing in her ears. The drawer feels like a choice you made. Most of the time, your chemistry made it first and handed you the reasons afterward.</p><h3>2. Endorphins make it safe to try again</h3><p><em>Laughter lowers the stakes. A badly drawn house will do more for your nerve than any pep talk.</em></p><p>The workshop didn&#8217;t start with anyone&#8217;s project. I asked everyone to pick up a pencil and draw a house, badly and on purpose.</p><p>Feel the pencil press into your middle finger. Listen to the scratch of graphite on paper. <em>Give your house a front door and a kitchen table, and a sunroom if you love plants the way I do. </em>Leave out the bathrooms. If you need one, you will have to visit the neighbors.</p><p>Peter asked if he could have hallways, <strong>and we laughed.</strong></p><p><strong>Laughing together triggers the release of endorphins, the brain&#8217;s own opioids</strong> [2]. Your body uses that same system to dull physical pain, and it seems to strengthen the bond between the people laughing. A room that laughs together first can take risks together later. Nobody in that session felt graded, and I believe that mattered more than anything I taught.</p><p>The lab worked the same way. We wrote the stopping rules before anyone had a reason to be frustrated by a number. <strong>A protocol needs a calm author</strong>, and before anyone in that room decided anything about their work, I wanted them laughing at a house with no bathrooms.</p><h3>3. Dopamine makes you want the finish line</h3><p><em>Your brain gets excited about rewards it can see coming. A goal with a color, a smell, and a taste is easier to see.</em></p><p><strong>Dopamine is tied to anticipation</strong>. The neurons that release it respond to signals that a reward is coming, and once a reward becomes predictable, they start firing at the cue that promises it [3]. Researchers link that response to wanting, the pull that gets you out of the chair. My bet is that &#8220;finish the book someday&#8221; gives that system very little to work with, and a goal you can see, smell, and taste works more like a cue. Someday has no smell.</p><p>In the next room of our house, I asked everyone to name the feeling their reader walks away with, and then to describe its color, its texture, its taste. Leah described a kitchen where people arrive heavy and leave lighter and full. I could smell the chocolate chip cookies through the screen, the brown sugar going dark at the edges, and I got hungry right there on Zoom.</p><p>Margaret chose the word <strong>yearning</strong>. I saw dark, loose soil, the kind you sink your hands into before you plant something, cool and damp under your nails. She decided yearning tastes like tea.</p><p>Peter got stuck. His piece was about &#8220;what matters most,&#8221; and when I asked for its color, he said, &#8220;It&#8217;s nothing I can put a name to.&#8221; Margaret called it <strong>cloudy.</strong> We stayed with the clouds. Some drift by white and wispy, and some hang low and gray, heavy with rain. Slowly his cloud turned into a storm, and the storm started to break.</p><p>This is the heart of <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-20-minute-writing-exercise-that?r=2w5u1j&amp;utm_campaign=post&amp;utm_medium=web">Future Scripting</a>&#8482;. When you write a goal in enough detail, it starts to feel close enough to reach. The research stops short of proving that, but I watched it happen to Peter that afternoon, one cloud at a time.</p><h3>4. Oxytocin replaces the judge with a reader</h3><p><em>Write the thank-you letter your reader sends you before you finish the piece. The critic in your head loses its seat at the table.</em></p><p><strong>Oxytocin is tied to trust, bonding, and feeling safe with other people</strong>. In one well-known study, people who had a supportive friend with them and a dose of oxytocin showed the lowest cortisol response to a stressful public-speaking task [4]. Connection pushes back against fear.</p><p>We sat down at the kitchen table and wrote the letter our reader sends us after finishing our piece, in present tense and in their own words. For three minutes I stopped talking and let the pencils work.</p><p>Leah read hers first: &#8220;Reading your piece left me feeling simply hugged.&#8221; Joan&#8217;s teenage reader said the opposite of the agent: &#8220;You rock. You don&#8217;t judge me.&#8221; Then Peter read his. His reader realizes he has been making those storm clouds himself, and now he sees the sun, a warm one with puffy cheeks, &#8220;like a best friend sun.&#8221;</p><p>Four heads nodded on the screen at the same time.</p><p><strong>I can&#8217;t promise that a letter releases oxytocin on command</strong>. What I watched was four people who had been writing for an imagined critic start writing for an imagined friend. My critics were a boyfriend holding a page of Polish poetry and, decades later, a stranger&#8217;s thumb flicking up a screen. Peter had met the thumb too. For one afternoon, at least, someone who said thank you took their seat.</p><p><strong>Keep the letter next to your protocol. </strong>The protocol tells you when to judge the work, and the letter reminds you who you&#8217;re writing it for. When the numbers come back thin, Peter&#8217;s reader is still out there waiting for a best friend sun, and eight seconds from a stranger can&#8217;t change that.</p><p>Peter kept going. He told us about a hike he took that same day and the lesson he found on the trail about cleaning up your life. A few minutes later he had the idea for his blog, short lessons from the trail, one hike at a time.</p><p>The script was still in the cubby, but Peter had found his reader, and he knew what to write next. Sometimes the piece in the drawer is how you find the one you&#8217;ll finish.</p><h3>Try it with your own drawer</h3><p><em><strong>I used to count those twenty years like quarters that rolled under the couch, lost to staying quiet and waiting until I felt ready.</strong></em> These days I count the ones still in my hand. Nobody gets the lost ones back, and the ones you&#8217;re holding still buy something: a page, a finished piece, a message you finally send.</p><p>Let&#8217;s spend one together.</p><p>Pour yourself a cup of coffee or tea and pick up a pencil. Draw a house, badly. Write the piece you stopped opening across the front door, and under it, name who needs this piece and what they are stuck on. In the next room, give the feeling they will leave with a color, a texture, and a taste.</p><p>Then sit down at the kitchen table and write the thank-you letter they send you, in present tense, in their words. Copy it onto a sticky note and put it where you write.</p><p>Last, do what we did in the lab and write your protocol before the chemistry gets a vote.</p><p><strong>Open your calendar and put a finish date on the piece.</strong></p><p>Decide how much evidence you&#8217;ll collect before you judge it. One post is a single trial, so pick a number that gives the work a fair run. For Peter, that might mean ten trail posts, one a week, with no verdict until the tenth is up.</p><p>Write down what counts as done, so a quiet week or a thin number can&#8217;t move the line halfway through.</p><p>Then tell one person, and mark every step you finish. Teresa Amabile&#8217;s research found that making progress on meaningful work, even small progress, was the most common feature of people&#8217;s best days at work [5].</p><p>I&#8217;m writing my own video protocol right now, so those four seconds won&#8217;t be my last data point. Mine starts with two short videos by October 30th.</p><p>I wish someone had handed me a pencil and a house when I was twenty-one, standing next to that garbage can.</p><p><strong>Reply and tell me the one word your future reader leaves with. I read every reply.</strong></p><p><em>P.S. The full workshop recording is waiting for you in the <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/student-hub-the-architecture-of-courage">Courage to Create Academy</a>. If your drawer is full and you can&#8217;t tell which piece to finish first, book a <a href="https://tidycal.com/mponurska/rewire-and-rewrite-your-identity-in-60-minutes">Power Hour</a> and I&#8217;ll dig through your archive with you to find the gold you can&#8217;t see yet.</em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p><div><hr></div><p><strong>References</strong></p><p>[1] Arnsten, A. F. T. (2009). Stress signalling pathways that impair prefrontal cortex structure and function. <em>Nature Reviews Neuroscience</em>, 10, 410&#8211;422.<br>[2] Manninen, S., et al. (2017). Social laughter releases endogenous opioids in humans. <em>Journal of Neuroscience</em>, 37(25), 6125&#8211;6131.<br>[3] Schultz, W., Dayan, P., &amp; Montague, P. R. (1997). A neural substrate of prediction and reward. <em>Science</em>, 275, 1593&#8211;1599.<br>[4] Heinrichs, M., et al. (2003). Social support and oxytocin interact to suppress cortisol and subjective responses to psychosocial stress. <em>Biological Psychiatry</em>, 54, 1389&#8211;1398.<br>[5] Amabile, T., &amp; Kramer, S. (2011). <em>The Progress Principle</em>. Harvard Business Review Press.</p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Find the Gold in Your Archives]]></title><description><![CDATA[[Step 0]: Finish what you started...]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/find-the-gold-in-your-archives</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/find-the-gold-in-your-archives</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Tue, 29 Sep 2026 01:35:23 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png" width="1200" height="630" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!IDhT!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a80c21c-3a1f-400f-99f5-1eaed79edc8e_1200x630.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><h4>Pencil in hand</h4><p>Pick up a pencil. Feel it press against your middle finger and listen to the scratch of graphite as you draw a house, badly and on purpose. Give it a front door and a kitchen table. I always add a sunroom, because I can&#8217;t live without my plants. There are no bathrooms, so if you need one, go knock on the neighbor&#8217;s door. That&#8217;s how we opened this workshop.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:17306,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/196245689?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" title="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><p>Everyone brought something they had stopped opening. Walter keeps a cubby stuffed with journals and a TikTok script that strangers abandoned after eight seconds. Margaret has run writing groups since the pandemic and has hundreds of pages of prompts, plus twenty chapters of a book that had started to feel dull. An agent told Joan that her Serenity Prayer book belonged on grandma&#8217;s wall. Leah carried a piece about her mother, who moved from West Virginia to Alaska and took her chocolate chip cookies into every new kitchen.</p><p><sup>(*Names of the participants have been changed) </sup></p><h4>The front door</h4><p>At the door, you greet your reader like a guest. Who needs this idea, and what are they stuck on? Joan pictured junior high kids who ask &#8220;who am I?&#8221; and she wants to hand them a better question: &#8220;whose am I?&#8221;</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:17306,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/196245689?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" title="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><h4>The room with all the senses</h4><p>I asked everyone for the color, texture, and taste of the feeling their reader walks away with. Leah told us that people show up at her mom&#8217;s house heavy, and they leave lighter, &#8220;fuller in spirit and stomach.&#8221; I could smell the cookies. Walter renamed it Chocolate Cookies for the Soul.</p><p>Margaret chose the word yearning, and I saw dark, loose soil you sink your hands into before you plant something. She decided yearning tastes like tea. Joan brought us dandelions and the joy of blowing their seeds. I pictured a little boy doing exactly that, and the same boy at fourteen glancing around first to see who&#8217;s watching.</p><p>Walter got stuck. When I asked him for the color of &#8220;what matters most,&#8221; he said, &#8220;It&#8217;s nothing I can put a name to.&#8221; Margaret called it cloudy, light and hard to grasp. So we stayed with the clouds, the wispy white ones and the low gray ones ready to split open, which Walter knows from years of climbing.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:17306,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/196245689?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" title="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><h4>The kitchen table</h4><p>We sat down at the kitchen table and wrote the letter our reader sends us after finishing the piece, in present tense and in their own words. I stopped talking and let the pencils work.</p><p>Leah read first. &#8220;Reading your piece left me feeling simply hugged.&#8221; Joan&#8217;s teenager wrote, &#8220;Joan, you rock. You don&#8217;t judge me.&#8221; Margaret&#8217;s group members told her they don&#8217;t have to be fine to show up. Then Walter read his. His reader realizes he has been making those storm clouds himself, and now he sees the sun, a warm one with puffy cheeks, &#8220;like a best friend sun.&#8221;</p><p>Walter kept going. What he really loves is hiking. Earlier that day he and a friend had gone off the trail, found busted beer bottles, and carried them far out of their way to a garbage can. He heard a lesson about cleaning up your life in that walk, and a blog name followed right behind it: Trail Talk.</p><p>That&#8217;s Future Scripting&#8482; at work. Your nervous system believes what you write in detail. When your reader already exists on the page, you stop writing into the dark.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:17306,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/196245689?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" title="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><h4>Finish what you started</h4><p>The last room in the house is the calendar. We opened ours and said a finish date out loud, because a date spoken in front of others is harder to let slide. Leah will finish her mother&#8217;s story when she gets home from a trip overseas. Joan is aiming for the deadline of a teen devotional she wants to submit to, and Walter gave himself one week.</p><p>Margaret surprised herself. She has a two-day writing retreat in the mountains coming up, and she decided to spend it on one question: what am I yearning for? By the end of the call, her twenty stalled chapters had a place to live inside that question.</p><p>I asked everyone to copy their reader&#8217;s letter onto a sticky note and put it where they write. On the mornings guilt can&#8217;t get you back to the draft, that letter will.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><div class="image-link image2" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png" width="1456" height="184" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:184,&quot;width&quot;:1456,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:17306,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/196245689?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" title="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!wKG3!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F2450d6e1-07b5-4d88-a8be-b718546090cb_1584x200.png 1456w" sizes="auto, 100vw" loading="lazy"></picture><div></div></div></div></figure></div><h4>What you&#8217;ll leave with</h4><p>One abandoned piece pulled back into the light, a reader you can picture at your door, their letter on a sticky note, and a finish date on your calendar.</p><p>Bring the piece you stopped opening, a pencil, a blank page, and a cup of coffee or tea.</p><p>Paid members get full access to the recording and workbook below &#128071;</p><div class="pullquote"><p><em>&#8220;Rewrite your story. Rewire your identity. Reprogram your future.&#8221;</em></p></div><h2>Getting in</h2><p><strong>If you&#8217;re a paid member, you&#8217;re already in.</strong> This challenge is part of your membership, at no extra cost. Everything is unlocked for you right now. Just scroll down to the workbooks, recordings, and checklist below, and start whenever you&#8217;re ready.</p><p><strong>If you&#8217;re reading as a free subscriber, become an annual member, and get full year inside the Courage to Create Academy. </strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p style="text-align: center;"></p><div class="pullquote"><p><em><strong>Your pen is your permission slip. Let&#8217;s rewrite the season before it rewrites you.</strong></em></p></div><p></p>
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   ]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Neuroscience of Ignoring Your Own Best Ideas]]></title><description><![CDATA[Why your brain stops noticing your best work, and how to read your archive the way a stranger would]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-neuroscience-of-ignoring-your</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-neuroscience-of-ignoring-your</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Wed, 23 Sep 2026 08:04:39 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png" width="900" height="600" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:600,&quot;width&quot;:900,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:708753,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/217002448?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!78Hp!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F4a370f54-360f-4631-bfad-fea7668d092c_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Last Sunday I pulled a folder out from under my desk. It had been there since 2023, pushed against the wall behind a power strip, its top soft with dust. Inside was everything I&#8217;d prepared for a professional development training on neuroplasticity and educational leadership: the slides, my facilitator notes, the handouts.</p><p>I sat on the floor and started flipping through it, mostly to decide whether it could go in the recycling bin. Somewhere around the third page of notes, I stopped. The workshop was good. I mean really good, and I say that as someone whose first instinct with old work is to wince.</p><p>At the back were the participants&#8217; feedback forms. One of them said this:</p><blockquote><p><em>&#8220;Thank you for making me realize that I am not stuck! That I can change and rewire my brain and that I can go through life saying I GET to rather than I HAVE to.&#8221;</em></p></blockquote><p>I read it twice and had to put the stack down in my lap. My chest went tight and warm at the same time, the way it does right before I cry. Someone had walked out of that room believing she could change because of something I made, and for three years it had been sitting under my desk.</p><p>Writing things down was never my problem. My notebook lives open on the kitchen counter with the pen resting in the crease, because ideas keep coming when they have somewhere to go. I believe that more than almost anything else I teach. Going back is the part I skip.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>Maybe you have your own version of that counter: a notes app you&#8217;ve fed for years, or a drafts folder with forty half-titled posts. You got the ideas down. Then the pages filled up, the notebook went on a shelf, and nobody opened it again, including you.</p></div><h2>Why your brain does this</h2><p>In 2006, two neuroscientists, Nico Bunzeck and Emrah D&#252;zel, <a href="https://www.eurekalert.org/news-releases/580149">scanned volunteers&#8217; brains</a> while showing them photographs. Some of the photographs were familiar and some were brand new. A region deep in the midbrain responded to novelty itself, and that response seemed to push the brain to go exploring for a reward. The researchers expected images that were only somewhat familiar to light that region up almost as much as new ones. They didn&#8217;t. Only the completely new images got the strong response. D&#252;zel&#8217;s explanation stays with me: <strong>a new thing might hold a reward</strong>, and once the brain learns a familiar thing has none attached, it stops paying the same attention.</p><p><strong>They were studying photographs, not essays. Still, I think the same wiring explains what happens to our own work.</strong> <em>Nothing you will ever read is more familiar to you than the thing you wrote. </em>You drafted it at 5 a.m., reread it on your phone in the school pickup line, fixed the second paragraph four times, and hit publish.<em><strong> By then your brain had filed it under known. A new idea feels electric, and a finished essay in your archive feels like furniture.</strong></em></p><p>Your readers meet that essay for the first time. They get the spark you stopped getting months ago.</p><h2>The three signs (&amp; bonus) </h2><p><strong>I. Old work embarrasses you while strangers still find it useful.</strong><br>You already know my version of this one. I was ready to recycle a folder that held a woman telling me she&#8217;d stopped living her life in &#8220;have to.&#8221; You measure old work against who you are now. Your reader measured it against what she needed the day she found it.</p><p><strong>II. Someone quotes your own line back to you and you don&#8217;t recognize it.</strong><br>A reader leaves a comment with a sentence she loved. You think, that&#8217;s good, who wrote that? It was you, eight months ago. Once a line is published, your brain stops giving it the attention it gives something new.</p><p><strong>III. Your best performing post is almost a year old and you haven&#8217;t mentioned it in months.</strong><br>Mine is <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-20-minute-writing-exercise-that">&#8220;The 20-Minute Writing Exercise That Neuroscientists Say Can Solve Your Hardest Problems.&#8221;</a> It brought in 1,918 new subscribers, more than three times any other post I&#8217;ve published, and it has been read over 250,000 times. I haven&#8217;t linked to it since July. The readers who found it this month have no idea it&#8217;s old. Yours might have 12 comments. It still found strangers who needed it.</p><p><strong>Bonus: You&#8217;d rather build a new framework than teach the one you already use.</strong><br>Building something new gives you the hit. Teaching what you&#8217;ve done for years feels like repeating yourself, even though everyone else would be hearing it for the first time. I&#8217;m not immune. My best performing post is about a writing exercise I do myself, the one that brought in more readers than anything else I&#8217;ve made, and I still let two months go by without pointing anyone back to it.</p><h2>What&#8217;s sitting in your archive</h2><p>Of the four, the bonus sign is the one I&#8217;d look at hardest. The thing you already use is probably teachable, and you&#8217;ve written about it more often than you think. It&#8217;s scattered across posts and replies to readers, and because you live inside it, it reads to you like how you get through the week. When I say teach, I mean anything that walks someone else through what you know: a guide, a post series, a talk, or a workshop. My neuroplasticity training looked like a dusty folder until I sat on the floor and read it.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>When I read my own archive now, I listen for two things. <strong>The first is the sentence you toss away: a line tucked in the middle of a paragraph, written quickly, as if it barely counts. </strong>You rushed past it because it felt obvious to you, and it felt obvious because you&#8217;ve lived it for years. <strong>The second is the idea you apologize for before you say it. &#8220;This might be basic, but.&#8221; &#8220;I&#8217;m probably overthinking this.&#8221; &#8220;I don&#8217;t know if anyone needs this.</strong>&#8221; Whatever comes after the apology is usually the thing you care about most and are least ready to claim. Circle both. That&#8217;s where your teaching is hiding.</p></div><p>Over the past two years I&#8217;ve run more than 60 workshops, masterclasses, intensives, and cohorts with over 600 writers, creators, and coaches. The work I keep coming back to is helping people dig out what&#8217;s already in their archives and turn it into something they can teach.</p><h2>Back to the counter</h2><p>Keep the notebook open. Leave the pen in the crease. New ideas still need somewhere to land.</p><p>Then, tonight, pull one old notebook off the shelf. Open it somewhere in the middle and read it the way a stranger would, someone who has never met you and doesn&#8217;t know how the story ends. Notice which line makes you stop, and whether you want to argue with it or underline it.</p><p>Somewhere in there is a sentence a reader needs to hear for the first time, one that could move her from &#8220;I have to&#8221; to &#8220;I get to.&#8221;</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Three Rituals That Get You Into Flow in Twenty Minutes]]></title><description><![CDATA[A boundary, a threshold, and a sentence you leave unfinished.]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/three-rituals-that-get-you-into-flow</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/three-rituals-that-get-you-into-flow</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Thu, 17 Sep 2026 08:04:43 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png" width="900" height="600" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:600,&quot;width&quot;:900,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:521418,&quot;alt&quot;:&quot;&quot;,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:true,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/206214726?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" title="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ISPN!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F74285488-1d17-48c8-8d54-cf53275be4c4_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>The house is still asleep when I write this. It is the hour before anyone needs anything from me, when the light outside has not decided whether it is still night or already morning. My coffee is too hot to drink, so I hold it, both hands around the mug, and let the heat soak into my palms. The notebook is open. The pen is already uncapped.</p></div><p>I set the pen on the page, and then something happens that I have spent years trying to describe. The room goes soft at the edges. The school lunches, the nine o&#8217;clock meeting, everything I owe the day, recedes like a tide pulling back from the shore. My hand moves before I have decided what to write. Twenty minutes pass and I do not feel one of them go by. When I look up, the coffee has gone cold, there are three pages in front of me I never planned, and I feel more like myself than I have in days.</p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png" width="900" height="600" data-attrs="{&quot;src&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/d30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;srcNoWatermark&quot;:null,&quot;fullscreen&quot;:null,&quot;imageSize&quot;:null,&quot;height&quot;:600,&quot;width&quot;:900,&quot;resizeWidth&quot;:null,&quot;bytes&quot;:1131538,&quot;alt&quot;:null,&quot;title&quot;:null,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;image/png&quot;,&quot;href&quot;:null,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:false,&quot;topImage&quot;:false,&quot;internalRedirect&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/i/216081579?img=https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;isProcessing&quot;:false,&quot;align&quot;:null,&quot;offset&quot;:false}" class="sizing-normal" alt="" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6xbJ!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fd30ed0d4-b9eb-4202-a062-fefa6e37088e_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><blockquote><p>That is flow. </p></blockquote><p>For years I believed the problem was time. The real work needed a long empty afternoon that never arrived, so I waited. I waited for the vacation, the week off, the retreat that never materialized, the version of my life where the calendar finally cleared. And while I waited, I walked past the twenty minutes sitting in front of me every single morning.</p><h4><strong>What I got wrong</strong></h4><p>I treated flow as a question of how long. I grieved the hours I did not have and told myself the good work was waiting on the other side of a schedule I would never get.</p><p><strong>It is a question of how often.</strong></p><p><em><strong>Every time you drop in, even for a few minutes, your nervous system learns the pattern a little better and recognizes the signal a little faster.</strong></em> The next session arrives sooner and lands deeper than the last one did.</p><p>We spend our energy mourning the long stretches we cannot find, while the thing that actually trains the state is repetition, and repetition is something even the most crowded life will hand you. The morning before the house wakes. The car in the school pickup line. The gap wedged between two meetings.</p><h4><strong>What is happening when you drop in</strong></h4><p>For a long time I thought flow was a mood, something that visited on the good mornings and skipped the bad ones. <em><strong>What I understand now is that it is a physical state, and your body recognizes it long before your mind can name it.</strong></em></p><p>When you drop in, the part of your brain that monitors you and second guesses you goes quiet. That is why the voice asking whether you are doing it right finally stops. You are no longer thinking about the work. You are inside it. <em><strong>All the frayed threads of attention turn to point in the same direction, and your body reads that as safety. Safety is the condition flow needs before it will show up.</strong></em></p><p>Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi, the psychologist who gave flow its name, described it as order in consciousness. That phrase has stayed with me for years. It is exactly what it feels like out in the parking lot with my notebook balanced against the steering wheel. Everything in me quietly lining up.</p><blockquote><p>And that lining up does not need a long runway. It needs a familiar one.</p></blockquote><h4><strong>The first ritual: a boundary</strong></h4><p>Flow answers to rituals you can build on purpose, and you can build them inside a life with no spare room in it. Mine are three, and each fits inside the twenty minutes you already have.</p><p>The first is a boundary. It sounds so obvious that most of us skip it. Put something physical around the moment. At home, for me, it is the phone left in the other room, one lamp turned on, and the mug of coffee already in my hand. On the mornings the house does not cooperate, it is the four closed doors of my car, engine off, nobody expecting me for another twenty minutes. <em><strong>The boundary does not have to be big. It has to be something your body can feel closing.</strong></em></p><h4><strong>The second ritual: a threshold</strong></h4><p>The second is some small way of telling your body you are crossing over. For me it is the notebook and the uncapped pen, the one tactile thing my hands recognize as the sign that we are writing now. The specific object matters far more than you would guess, because your body reads it before your mind catches up.</p><p>The pen carries a second gift I did not choose it for. It cannot backspace. There is no cursor blinking at an unfinished sentence, no line I can restart six times over, so the only direction left is forward. Find the single gesture that tells your whole system the day can wait a few more minutes.</p><p>I should be honest about the start of each session, because it is rarely graceful. The first few minutes usually feel like resistance, like your whole body would rather be doing anything else. That reluctance is the toll you pay at the door. You sit through it, you keep the pen moving, and somewhere around minute three or four the work itself reaches up and pulls you under.</p><h4><strong>The third ritual: a sentence you leave unfinished</strong></h4><p>This one took me years to stumble into, and it is the one I would hand you first if I could.</p><p>End the session while you still have something left to say. Mid thought. Mid sentence, even, with the next line already forming in your head. Every instinct tells you to chase the thought down while you have it.</p><p>Leave it. When you walk away from a hanging thread, you are baiting the hook for tomorrow. You come back to a page that is already reaching for you, and the cold open, the hardest part of the whole thing, is simply gone. You taught your nervous system where to pick up, and it remembered.</p><p>Which is why the next morning you should not reread yesterday&#8217;s page. It feels like the responsible way to begin, a running start. It wakes the exact voice you came here to quiet, the one that judges and edits and asks whether any of this is good. <em><strong>You start correcting before you have started writing, and the blank page goes cold again. Begin forward instead, from the thread you left hanging.</strong></em></p><h4><strong>Your turn</strong></h4><p><strong>What is the first thing you reach for when you are ready to begin? </strong>Tell me in the comments, and give me the real version: the cold coffee you forgot to drink; the particular pen. <strong>The chair by the window that only you ever sit in.</strong> I want the small, ordinary, unglamorous thing that quiets the noise and <em><strong>hands you back to yourself.</strong></em></p><div><hr></div><p>P.S. If this stirred something, the <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/s/academy-and-resources">Courage to Create Academy</a> is where these twenty minutes become a whole method. Paid members get the full run of it, one page at a time.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[What does gingerbread have to do with a windmill]]></title><description><![CDATA[Letters from The In-Between, No. 23]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/what-does-gingerbread-have-to-do</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/what-does-gingerbread-have-to-do</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 13 Sep 2026 16:57:20 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png" width="1456" height="1048" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!ttp7!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fe96448ed-72d5-46de-b97a-42b4a5cec8bc_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>Last week, I said this in a workshop, out loud, in English, and then I liked it enough to put it in an article:</p><blockquote><p><em>If the prediction gets built out of instances, and your instances are stored as a feeling you cannot open, then the only move I have found is getting them onto a page where you can read them back in your own handwriting.</em></p></blockquote><p>A dozen words in, I heard it go flat; the slow emotional leak, where you start loosing your readers or listeners&#8230; <strong>What I meant was in Polish, and it was shorter, and it had a picture in it.</strong></p><p>Thirty years in English and my brain still reaches for the &#8220;images&#8221; in Polish first. Then it translates, and the translation is always worse.</p><p>Here are few examples: </p><p><em><strong>Rzuca&#263; grochem o &#347;cian&#281;.</strong></em><br>To throw peas against a wall. Small hard things, one after another, at something flat. Each one makes a tiny noise and comes straight back at you. Nothing breaks, nothing moves, and you can keep doing it for forty-five minutes with a shared screen up. I have sat in that meeting. So have you.</p><p><em><strong>Co ma piernik do wiatraka?</strong></em><br>What does gingerbread have to do with a windmill? You say it when someone swerves somewhere wildly unrelated. English has the same move, the price of tea in China, and it works fine. But tea and China are just far away. Gingerbread and a windmill are both sitting right there in the same village, close enough to smell, and still have nothing to do with each other. That&#8217;s the better joke.</p><p><em><strong>My&#347;le&#263; o niebieskich migda&#322;ach.</strong></em><br>To think about blue almonds. English calls it daydreaming, which sounds like something you should stop doing. Blue almonds sounds like a place I would very much like to go, possibly with a notebook.</p><p><em><strong>Robi&#263; z ig&#322;y wid&#322;y.</strong></em><br>To make a pitchfork out of a needle. A mountain out of a molehill at least keeps you in the same family of object. A needle becomes a farm implement. The escalation is the whole point, and yes, I have done it before 7am.</p><p><em><strong>Bu&#322;ka z mas&#322;em.</strong></em><br>A roll with butter. It means easy. English offers piece of cake, a dessert, something handed to you on your birthday by people who are watching you eat it. Ours is breakfast. The easy thing is the one you do every single morning, standing up, thinking about something else.</p><p>Every one of those is a picture. That&#8217;s the trick of them. You don&#8217;t have to follow the sentence, you just have to see the thing. Peas hitting a wall. A needle turning into a pitchfork. Then I stand in front of a room and say <em>instances stored as a feeling you cannot open</em>, and everyone nods, and nobody sees anything.</p><blockquote><p>So what does gingerbread have to do with a windmill.</p></blockquote><p>Here&#8217;s the seventh one, and it has no picture in it at all.</p><p><em><strong>Co powiedz&#261; ludzie.</strong></em><br>What will people say. That&#8217;s the translation, and it&#8217;s useless. In English it sounds like mild social anxiety, something a good therapist could clear up in six sessions. In Polish it&#8217;s a weight.</p><p>Sunday dinner table. My mother gasping at my hair, which had gone pink entirely by accident (well, at least that was my story and I&#8217;m sticking to it!). My aunt leaning in to ask what exactly was wrong with me, because my mother had just told her about the D in math. Neither of them was angry. They were worried about what this would look like.</p><blockquote><p>I put that one down at the airport, or I thought I did.</p></blockquote><p>At twenty-one, a few months into a country where I had fifty dollars and a paper dictionary, I handed a Polish boyfriend a poem I had just written. He read it and said, this is really stupid, why do you waste your time on poetry. I threw the page in a garbage can on my way out the door. Then I didn&#8217;t write anything for twenty years.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>That&#8217;s the cost. Not the embarrassment, which passed in a week. Twenty years. Co powiedz&#261; ludzie doesn&#8217;t stop you from living. <strong>It leaves the life running perfectly well and quietly takes the joy out of it, and you don&#8217;t notice, because everything still works.</strong></p></div><p>I am fifty and I publish under my own name now, and I still feel it move when I hit send on something with my mother&#8217;s language in it. <strong>I hit send anyway.</strong> That is the entire skill. There is no version where the weight goes away.</p><p><strong>Your turn.</strong> Write down a phrase you think in that doesn&#8217;t survive translation. Another language, your grandmother&#8217;s, your industry&#8217;s, one your family made up when you were eleven. Put the literal version underneath it. Then write what it cost you to carry it, and be specific about the number of years.</p><p><em><strong>Reply and send me yours. I want the literal translation, and the stupider it sounds in English, the better.</strong></em></p><p><strong>Write it first. Live it second.</strong></p><p>With love and courage from the in-between,</p><p>Magdalena</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Six Prompts to Argue With Your Underpricing Brain]]></title><description><![CDATA[How I talked my brain into a higher number]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/i-deleted-2000-from-my-own-proposal</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/i-deleted-2000-from-my-own-proposal</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sat, 12 Sep 2026 15:53:34 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<p></p><div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png" width="900" height="600" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!8xkj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F1bc68306-b223-40ec-a913-3cb0e7cfd452_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div 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fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>I typed $2,000 into the email, looked at it for a second, deleted it, and put $1,000 in its place, which is a strange thing to do inside a proposal for a workshop about having difficult conversations.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>My palms were damp enough that I noticed them against the trackpad, and my breath had climbed up somewhere near my collarbone, the way it does right before you say a thing you cannot take back. Two hours. &#8220;Difficult Conversations Made Easy,&#8221; a session I have delivered for nine months now to international audiences and organizations, and the irony was not lost on me even while it was happening.</p></div><p>Three months earlier I ran nearly the same workshop for another organization and charged a thousand. Six months ago I ran it for free and told myself I was building something, which was true and also convenient.</p><p>One thousand to two thousand, for work that had only gotten better in between. <strong>Twice more I put the smaller number back <mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">because it felt survivable</mark></strong>. Then I caught myself adding a sentence underneath to soften it, something about prep hours and follow-up materials, as though $2,000 could not stand up by itself and needed me there holding its elbow.</p><p>I deleted the sentence, typed the two back in, and sent it before I could open the draft again. The decision maker said yes within a few hours. What I felt was closer to embarrassment than triumph, because a yes that fast makes you wonder what else you could have asked for.</p><p><strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">The price in my head had been set by a woman who taught the thing for free. </mark></strong>What kept the number in the email was a page of writing I did before I opened my inbox.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>You have your own $1,000. Maybe it is a rate you have quoted the same way for three years because the first person you sent it to did not blink. Maybe it is a raise you have been rehearsing since February and keep moving to the next quarter, or a paid tier you keep almost turning on. You already know which one it is, because it surfaced while you were reading this paragraph, and you have already started explaining to yourself why now is not the week.</p></div><h2>Your brain is pricing you from a file it never opened</h2><p>Your brain prices you the way it prices everything, by pulling up the instances it has on record and averaging them.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong>Most of us do not keep a record. We keep a feeling.</strong> That feeling got assembled out of moments nobody wrote down: a performance review, a sentence from a first boss, the pause before someone answered you. Because it was never written, it cannot be argued with and it cannot be updated. It sits there issuing verdicts in your own voice, and you mistake the verdict for good judgment.</p></div><p>I keep coming back to the idea that the brain runs on forecasts. It does not so much perceive the room as predict it, then correct the prediction against whatever actually shows up. The forecast gets built out of accumulated instances, which is the encouraging part, because new instances change it.</p><p>A team at the Max Planck UCL Centre for Computational Psychiatry, led by Geert-Jan Will, watched this happen in 2017. They put people in a scanner, had strangers who had supposedly read their profiles send back approval or disapproval, and asked them to rate their own sense of worth as they went. The ratings did not track whether people were liked. <strong>They tracked the gap between the response expected and the response that arrived. </strong>Participants worked out fairly quickly which groups of strangers mostly approved of them, and it was a thumbs-down from one of those groups, the ones they had come to count on, that took the most out of them.</p><p>That is as far as the study goes. Moment to moment, inside that task, self-worth moved on the distance between the answer predicted and the answer that came back.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong>The rest is mine, and I want to be clear about where the scanner stops and I start.</strong> If the prediction gets built out of instances, and your instances are stored as a feeling you cannot open, then the only move I have found is getting them onto a page where you can read them back in your own handwriting. Nine months of watching people do this in workshops is my evidence. <strong>Nobody has put my page in an fMRI machine.</strong></p></div><p>So the easy ask is a forecast about the answer you are going to get, and the people who make it without flinching have different instances on file. <strong><mark data-color="#ffff00" style="background-color: rgb(255, 255, 0); color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">You cannot argue yourself into a forecast. You can only feed it.</mark></strong></p><h2>Six things to write. Twenty minutes.</h2><p><strong>1. Write the ask you are not making, then write the number you would ask for if the answer were already yes. Three minutes.</strong> Word for word, the way you would have to say it out loud, with the number in it. &#8220;I am raising my rate to $X on March 1.&#8221; &#8220;My fee for the day is $X.&#8221; &#8220;I want $X.&#8221; &#8220;I am taking the first week of December.&#8221; Most people write around the number, and noticing that you did is already information. Then, underneath, the number you would name if the yes were guaranteed. Nothing after it. No justification, no because. Watch how quickly your hand wants to explain itself. Mine was $2,000 for two hours, and my hand wanted to put three sentences of prep-time math under it before I would let myself send the thing.</p><p><strong>2. Write the evidence file. Five minutes.</strong> Ten lines of what you delivered this year that nobody recorded anywhere. The launch you carried while two people were out. The client still using the thing you built. Mine has a line about the stretch where I worked twelve and fourteen hour days, carried three people&#8217;s jobs, and was told by a woman in the C-suite that I was not putting in enough hours and effort. Writing it down years later did more for my rate than any pep talk ever has. This is the file your brain was missing when it set your price.</p><p><strong>3. Name the voice that argues back. Three minutes.</strong> Write the sentence that arrives the second you say your number out loud. Then write down who owns it. Mine belongs to a boyfriend I had at twenty-one. I handed him the newest poem I had written in Polish and he said, &#8220;This is really stupid, why do you waste your time on poetry?&#8221; I dropped the page in a garbage can on my way out and did not write anything for more than twenty years. The sentence usually has an owner, and the owner is usually not you.</p><p><strong>4. Write what the no-ask costs. Three minutes.</strong> One year of not asking, in dollars or in hours. Then multiply by five.</p><p>Mine took about forty seconds to work out once I let myself look at it. Two sessions inside six months that should have been two thousand each. I collected one thousand of the four. Three thousand left on the table in half a year, six in a year, thirty thousand over five, for the same two hours a decision maker later approved at twice the price without asking a single question. Thirty thousand is the number I made myself write on the page and look at.</p><p><strong>5. Write what the yes makes possible, in present tense. Four minutes.</strong> Not the yes itself. The thing the yes lets happen. The day of the week, the room, or the little square of screen with their face in it. Detail is the part your nervous system responds to, and a vague rehearsal rehearses nothing.</p><p>Mine was the workshop, the grid of faces on Zoom and the aha moments arriving close enough together that you can feel them land. Two hours does something to a face, makes it lighter and younger until it ends up somewhere near awe, and that is what went on the page: the room filling with something I can feel through a screen, people changing while it happens to them. That is what the $2,000 was for, and the number was easier to type once I had already watched it happen in writing.</p><p><strong>6. Write the date, the time, and the first line. Two minutes.</strong> When you are sending it or saying it, down to the hour. Then write the opening sentence of the message itself, so the hardest sentence in the whole thing is already written and waiting for you on the day. By the morning I sent mine, the only decision left was whether to open the draft one more time.</p><div><hr></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>The number holds. I send $2,000 proposals now and I no longer sit with the draft open deciding whether the figure can stand up without me there holding its elbow. <strong>Nothing about me changed. The file did.</strong></p></div><div><hr></div><p>Somewhere in your week there is an ask you are carrying around unwritten, deciding the answer for someone who has not been given the question yet. Write prompt one. Word for word, with the number in it, the way you would have to say it out loud. <strong>Then hit reply and send me that one line. I read every one, and I want to see your number before your brain talks you down from it.</strong></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>P.S. Prompt five is the one people skim and the one that does the work. You see it, you write it down, you act as if it already happened. <a href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/rewrite-your-summer-before-summer">Rewrite Your Limiting Beliefs, Before They Rewrite You</a>, is a twenty-one self-guided challange to rewrite your self imposed, limited beliefs. Everything opens the moment you join, nothing drips out week by week, and the twenty-one days start whenever you do. <em><strong>Paid members already have all of it. Everyone else comes in as an annual member, which also opens the Courage to Create Academy for a year.</strong></em></p><div class="digest-post-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;nodeId&quot;:&quot;b5fa1b46-30a1-4161-8543-861b2fb9fc90&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;It is five in the morning and the house is still dark. You&#8217;re awake before everyone, the way you always are now. And before your feet even touch the floor, it starts:&quot;,&quot;cta&quot;:null,&quot;showBylines&quot;:true,&quot;showDescription&quot;:true,&quot;showImage&quot;:true,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;sm&quot;,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;Rewrite Your Limiting Beliefs, Before They Rewrite You&quot;,&quot;publishedBylines&quot;:[{&quot;id&quot;:174952279,&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Magdalena Ponurska&quot;,&quot;bio&quot;:&quot;Mother who rewired her life with a notebook and won't shut up about it. Innovation Strategist by day, founder of Courage to Create. Identity, neuroscience, and building something real in stolen moments.&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ff5e960c-b098-4956-8a28-94f942f9c87e_1048x1048.png&quot;,&quot;is_guest&quot;:false,&quot;bestseller_tier&quot;:100}],&quot;post_date&quot;:&quot;2026-05-25T09:05:56.651Z&quot;,&quot;cover_image&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/74a01fc8-5321-4e3a-92c8-08a093f5b390_1200x630.png&quot;,&quot;cover_image_alt&quot;:null,&quot;canonical_url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/rewrite-your-summer-before-summer&quot;,&quot;section_name&quot;:&quot;&#127891; Courage to Create Academy&quot;,&quot;video_upload_id&quot;:null,&quot;id&quot;:199011546,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;newsletter&quot;,&quot;reaction_count&quot;:21,&quot;comment_count&quot;:0,&quot;publication_id&quot;:2026653,&quot;publication_name&quot;:&quot;Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;publication_logo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6g9j!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8add0243-8290-405c-9cda-c86dafd88443_1280x1280.png&quot;,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;youtube_url&quot;:null,&quot;show_links&quot;:null,&quot;feed_url&quot;:null}"></div>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[I love being helpful. I hate asking for help.]]></title><description><![CDATA[Letters from The In-Between, No. 22]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/i-love-being-helpful-i-hate-asking</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/i-love-being-helpful-i-hate-asking</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Mon, 07 Sep 2026 13:00:11 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png" width="1456" height="1048" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!hCAH!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F5af024ae-8ef1-462d-9409-1b38d7283508_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p>It is early morning, the coffee is hot for once; the kitchen is dark except for the light over the stove, and the house will not wake for another hour.</p><p><strong>Helping is the most natural thing in the world to me</strong>. It&#8217;s like breathing. Sitting across from someone while they find the thing they already know, holding the silence until the real sentence arrives, holding space for them while they get there. </p><p><strong>And yet, I have been in this country for thirty years and I have asked for help maybe a handful of times.</strong> I could name them. I would not need both hands.</p><h2>The rule was in my own handwriting</h2><p>The autumn I went back to corporate, I wrote every night for two weeks. Not the gentle kind of writing. The kind where the page is the only place I am allowed to tell the truth without flinching. The same word kept surfacing and I kept circling it. <em><strong>Failure</strong>.</em></p><p>Somewhere in the third week I got underneath it and found a set of rules I had never agreed to live by. One of them was heavier than the rest. <strong>A real reinvention is something you do alone, running on empty, asking nobody for help.</strong></p><p>I know exactly who wrote that one. I did. <strong>The thirty-year-old who left the corporate life for the first time wrote it, and I have been taking orders from her ever since.</strong></p><p>Nobody imposed this on me. I drafted it, I filed it under humility, and I ran an entire adult life on it without once checking whether it still described anything.</p><h2>What it costs on the other side</h2><p>In July a colleague wrote me a note about my work, the job and the writing both. He had been watching, apparently. He wrote down what he saw: the learning every day, the writing, the fact that I finish things.</p><p>I read it and I thought, that is generous of him. <strong>Generous is the file it went into.</strong> He handed me a sentence about myself that I could not have written, and rather than keep it, I credited it to his kindness and moved on to the next item on the list.</p><p>So here is what I actually think is going on, and it is less flattering than the version where I am simply a generous person.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong>Being the one who helps keeps me on the safe side of the ledger.</strong> If I am always giving, nobody ever finds out what I need, and I never have to say <em>I cannot do this alone</em> to a person who will then know that about me. I have been calling that generosity for years. It has also been a very good place to stand where nothing could be asked of me.</p></div><h2>Two words on the mirror</h2><p>Here is what moved it, and it took almost nothing.</p><p>That same July I wrote the name of one person I trusted on a Post-it and stuck it to the bathroom mirror. Not as a plan. Just as an acknowledgment that I was not going to do this alone.</p><p>Then two more notes went up next to it, one word on each. <strong>Flourish. Thrive.</strong></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>I put those there because I wanted them back. It took me a while to notice what I had actually arranged on that mirror. <em><strong>Survive</strong></em> is a word you can do alone, and I have thirty years of evidence that I am good at it. <strong>Neither of the words I chose is a solo word.</strong> Nobody flourishes by themselves in a room.</p></div><p>The name was already up there beside them. <strong>I had stuck the ask and the reason for it in the same reflection as my own face</strong>, every morning, and it was a long time before I read the three notes as one sentence.</p><p><strong>I am not going to tell you I am cured of this.</strong> I will tell you that the asking has started to come out of my mouth, occasionally, in real time, and that it does not feel like weakness anymore. It feels like the price of the two words.</p><h2>You probably do both of these too</h2><p>If you are the person everyone calls, you know the first half of that title without me explaining it. <strong>Ask yourself when you last made the call in the other direction.</strong></p><p>This is where Future Scripting turns around and looks the other way. I teach you to write the future in present tense and in detail, because <strong>your nervous system believes what you write in detail.</strong> I wrote the version where I do it alone for thirty years, out loud, at dinner parties, in the answer I give when someone asks how I got here. Of course it is the one I believe. <strong>I had never once written down the version where I ask, so it had nothing to go on.</strong></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p>So write that one. Think of the thing you are carrying right now that is too heavy for one person, and write the sentence where you hand part of it to someone by name. Present tense. Who you ask, what you say, what your voice does on the first word.</p></div><p>Then put the name where you will see it next to your own face.</p><p><strong>Write it first. Live it second.</strong></p><p>With love and courage from the in-between,</p><p>Magdalena</p><p><em>P.S. What are the two words you would put on your mirror? Hit reply and tell me. I read every one.</em></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The Gap Between Having An Idea and Doing Something About It]]></title><description><![CDATA[Seven kinds of courage]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-gap-between-having-an-idea-and</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-gap-between-having-an-idea-and</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Fri, 04 Sep 2026 14:37:40 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7dAs!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3bc9b7a7-8377-46d2-be0f-26d424e47069_900x600.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7dAs!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3bc9b7a7-8377-46d2-be0f-26d424e47069_900x600.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" 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src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7dAs!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3bc9b7a7-8377-46d2-be0f-26d424e47069_900x600.png" width="900" height="600" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7dAs!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3bc9b7a7-8377-46d2-be0f-26d424e47069_900x600.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7dAs!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3bc9b7a7-8377-46d2-be0f-26d424e47069_900x600.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7dAs!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3bc9b7a7-8377-46d2-be0f-26d424e47069_900x600.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!7dAs!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F3bc9b7a7-8377-46d2-be0f-26d424e47069_900x600.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><blockquote><p>&#8220;I don&#8217;t think I&#8217;m actually creative.&#8221;</p></blockquote><p>My friend said this with a fork in her hand. Four months earlier she had left her HR position, twenty years at a legacy corporation, to make things for a living. Ten minutes before she said it she had been telling me how she dressed the display window at her boutique the week before, and she pulled out her phone to show me. A deep burgundy dress against a Tiffany blue chair. I kept looking at the photo while she moved on to something else.</p><p>Then she asked me where creativity comes from, and whether some people have more of it than others, because she feels like she is running out of hers.</p><p>I know that question.</p><p>Everyone has ideas. My friend had one on her phone and a few hundred more built into the store. Where she was losing is the gap between having the idea and doing something about it, and it closes so quietly that people mistake it for talent leaving.</p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong>The gap is trainable.</strong> Your brain builds itself around what you repeat, and repetition counts even when it happens inside your head. Seeing a thing in detail, feeling what it would feel like, and then acting as though it already happened are three separate rehearsals, and each one leaves a mark. This is why I hand people a pen instead of waiting with them until they feel ready.</p></div><p>So I answered a different question than the one she asked. I told her that courage arrives in kinds, that the kinds are not interchangeable, and that most of the effort I watch people spend gets spent on the wrong one. <strong>A draft that will not move on a Tuesday needs a different courage than a finished draft sitting in a folder. Reaching for the wrong one is why so much work produces so little movement,</strong> and why people decide they are not creative when they have been solving the wrong problem, carefully, for months.</p><p>Here are the seven I know.</p><h2>I. The courage to start</h2><p><em><strong>Moving before the feeling shows up. Opening the file with cold hands.</strong></em></p><p><strong>Fear does not get erased by insight. It gets outvoted by experience. </strong>Every time you approach the thing you have been avoiding and the sky stays where it is, your brain lays down a second memory, a competing one, that says this was survivable. The competing memory can only be built by going toward the thing, which is inconvenient, because thinking is the part we are all good at.</p><p><strong>The pen practice:</strong> Write the smallest version of the scary act that still counts, then do that one today. Not launch the newsletter. Send one paragraph to one person who is already expecting it.</p><h2>II. The courage to feel it in advance</h2><p><em><strong>Running the thing in your mind&#8217;s eye, and letting yourself feel it, before you run it in the world.</strong></em></p><p>In a study from the nineties, one group practiced a five-finger piano exercise for two hours a day, and another group only imagined practicing it, hands still in their laps. Both groups showed similar changes in the motor cortex, though the imaginers played worse, which is the honest half of the finding. Rehearsal moves the map and it still leaves you owing time at the piano.</p><p>The part people skip is the feeling. Picturing the room is the easy half, and most of us stop there because the second half hurts a little. You also have to let yourself feel what it will be like to be in that room, including the part where your voice shakes on the first sentence and you keep going anyway. Refusing to imagine that moment is not protection. It just means you meet it cold.</p><p><strong>The pen practice:</strong> Two minutes before the hard thing. Write down who is in the room, what you say first, and what you feel in your chest when you say it. Then go.</p><h2>III. The courage to leave a trace you cannot quietly delete</h2><p><em><strong>Pen on paper.</strong></em></p><p>A keyboard lets you unwrite a sentence before anyone sees it, including you. Handwriting keeps the evidence. The crossed-out line stays on the page, in your handwriting, in the color you chose, and you have to look at it again on your way down to the next one. Committing something to paper is a small public act even when the only public is you in eight months, finding the notebook.</p><p>More of your brain shows up for it, too. When researchers put students in EEG caps and had them write words by hand and then type the same words, handwriting produced far wider connectivity across regions tied to memory and attention. Typing produced very little. The finding has been argued over, and the study measured what happens during writing rather than what you remember later, so I hold it loosely. What I hold firmly is the workshop rooms, where the pen reliably changes what people are willing to say.</p><p><strong>The pen practice:</strong> Anything you actually want to become true gets written by hand. Your pen is your permission slip.</p><h2>IV. The courage to use the true word</h2><p><em><strong>Saying what the feeling is, in one word, and choosing the accurate word over the flattering one.</strong></em></p><p>Putting a feeling into language turns the volume down on it, and it works without you arguing with the feeling or talking yourself out of it. It barely feels like you are doing anything. The difficulty is not the technique. The difficulty is that most of us name the situation instead of the feeling, because the situation is a safer thing to have on the page. &#8220;The timeline is tight&#8221; is a situation. &#8220;I am embarrassed&#8221; is the whole intervention.</p><p><strong>The pen practice:</strong> Before you open the draft, one line at the top of the page. Name the feeling, and if the first word you write is about the circumstances, cross it out and go again. Two minutes, then start writing underneath it.</p><h2>V. The courage to be boring</h2><p><em><strong>The same small rep on the days it feels pointless.</strong></em></p><p>Volunteers who spent three months learning to juggle grew measurable gray matter in the areas that handle complex visual motion. Three months after they quit, it had shrunk back toward where it started. Your brain grows toward what you do and lets go of what you drop, which makes reinvention accumulation rather than a breakthrough, and makes it perishable.</p><p>Nobody photographs this one. My friend is four months into a life she chose, and the store looked like a decision when she signed the lease. It looks like a Tuesday now. Twenty minutes on Mondays for eight months is what finally moved my own workbook out of a drawer it had been sitting in for two years, and not one of those Mondays felt like progress while it was happening.</p><p><strong>The pen practice:</strong> Pick the twenty-minute block and the day, and write both somewhere you will see them everyday.</p><h2>VI. The courage to be a beginner</h2><p><em><strong>Putting something in that you did not go looking for, and tolerating how it feels to be bad at it.</strong></em></p><p>Unusual experiences make people more flexible thinkers afterward. Novel input loosens the grip of the obvious answer, and the obvious answer is what you produce when the only thing you have consumed lately is your own field. The cost is real, though, and it is the reason people skip this one. After twenty years, my friend could read a room of executives in about four seconds. Then she started dressing windows, and had to stand on a sidewalk at eight in the morning with no idea whether the thing she had made looked good. Fluency is comfortable. Trading it for a week of not knowing anything is the actual ask.</p><p><strong>The pen practice:</strong> One hour a week with nothing attached to it. Wrong aisle at the library, a documentary about a trade you know nothing about, a conversation with someone whose work has no overlap with yours. One sentence in your notebook when you get home.</p><h2>VII. The courage to be looked at</h2><p><em><strong>Letting the work be seen by someone who might not like it.</strong></em></p><p>Judgment lands in the body first, and pep talks do not reach the body. What does reach it is writing down what you value and who the work is for before you walk in. People who affirmed their personal values before a stressful task showed a smaller cortisol response than people who did not, which is a mild finding with a useful shape: give your attention somewhere other than the mirror and the body gets quieter.</p><p>A window is the purest version of this. The dress and the chair stand on a lit street all night while my friend sleeps, and every person who walks past renders a verdict she will never hear.</p><p><strong>The pen practice:</strong> Five minutes before you publish, write what you want this piece to do for one specific person, and why that matters to you. Then send it while the page is still in front of you.</p><div><hr></div><p>My friend had already put a burgundy dress against a Tiffany blue chair, and I could not stop looking at it. What she needed was number six, the courage to be a beginner. Twenty years of walking into rooms where she knew the answer, and then a season of standing in her own store not knowing, and from the inside that feels exactly like creativity running out.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p><strong>Which of the seven is standing between you and the thing you keep not starting? Put it in the comments. I read every one of them.</strong></p><div><hr></div><p>P.S. This month's workshop is about courage to close the gap. Become a paid member and join the workshop for free. </p><div class="digest-post-embed" data-attrs="{&quot;nodeId&quot;:&quot;2e11c597-4b6c-4263-8470-89ed5907ca18&quot;,&quot;caption&quot;:&quot;Redefine your courage &amp; connections&quot;,&quot;cta&quot;:null,&quot;showBylines&quot;:true,&quot;showDescription&quot;:true,&quot;showImage&quot;:true,&quot;size&quot;:&quot;sm&quot;,&quot;isEditorNode&quot;:true,&quot;title&quot;:&quot;&#9889;Upcoming Live Workshops &amp; Intensives&quot;,&quot;publishedBylines&quot;:[{&quot;id&quot;:174952279,&quot;name&quot;:&quot;Magdalena Ponurska&quot;,&quot;bio&quot;:&quot;Mother who rewired her life with a notebook and won't shut up about it. Innovation Strategist by day, founder of Courage to Create. Identity, neuroscience, and building something real in stolen moments.&quot;,&quot;photo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com/public/images/ff5e960c-b098-4956-8a28-94f942f9c87e_1048x1048.png&quot;,&quot;is_guest&quot;:false,&quot;bestseller_tier&quot;:100}],&quot;post_date&quot;:&quot;2026-07-04T18:45:45.144Z&quot;,&quot;cover_image&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!3tdu!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6ec6f739-2ed1-4041-ad1c-1a1f87827100_900x600.png&quot;,&quot;cover_image_alt&quot;:null,&quot;canonical_url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/upcoming-live-workshops-and-intensives-aaf&quot;,&quot;section_name&quot;:&quot;&#127891; Courage to Create Academy&quot;,&quot;video_upload_id&quot;:null,&quot;id&quot;:205088524,&quot;type&quot;:&quot;newsletter&quot;,&quot;reaction_count&quot;:3,&quot;comment_count&quot;:0,&quot;publication_id&quot;:2026653,&quot;publication_name&quot;:&quot;Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;publication_logo_url&quot;:&quot;https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!6g9j!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F8add0243-8290-405c-9cda-c86dafd88443_1280x1280.png&quot;,&quot;belowTheFold&quot;:true,&quot;youtube_url&quot;:null,&quot;show_links&quot;:null,&quot;feed_url&quot;:null}"></div><div><hr></div><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[The panel of judges I never invited]]></title><description><![CDATA[Letters from The In-Between, No. 13]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-panel-of-judges-i-never-invited</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/the-panel-of-judges-i-never-invited</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 16:03:34 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img src="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png" width="1456" height="1048" 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!rcMj!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6e3d591d-84d1-41be-9f95-e23b99a35910_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><p><span>You bought the journal, chose the pen that makes a small pleasure of the downstroke, and sat down full of real hope. Then you did the single thing most likely to strangle all of it. </span><strong><span>You compared.</span></strong></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><span>Somewhere above the page sits a panel you never invited to the table. </span><strong><span>They arrived on their own.</span></strong><span> There is the writer whose tenth book you have read, marking your first shaky lines against her twenty years. Beside her sits the version of yourself you think you should already be, arms folded, unimpressed. The pen slows. Your hope thins. </span><strong><span>Within a paragraph the page has stopped being yours and become a performance for judges who were never real.</span></strong></p></div><p><strong><span>I know this panel intimately, because mine used to convene every morning before the house woke</span></strong><span>. In the dark I would open the notebook, and before a single true sentence made it out, the marking began. Not good enough. Who do you think you are. The cold coffee went colder while I argued with people who existed only in my own skull.</span></p><p><span>Here is what I wish someone had told me sooner. The panel is not measuring your writing. Look closely and you will catch them leaning back, marking you before your pen has touched the page, because none of them ever came to read. </span><strong><span>It is measuring you against an audience you built from your own fears, and that kind of audience will always vote the way the fear wants.</span></strong><span> That is its entire function. The panel exists to keep you safely unwritten, because an unwritten life cannot be judged, and it has confused safety with kindness.</span></p><blockquote><p><span>So let me say this plainly. </span><strong><span>You are allowed to fire them.</span></strong></p></blockquote><p><span>For years you have tried to reason with this panel. Reasoning keeps them seated. Firing them ends the meeting. So clear the table. The page was never an audition. You owe a performance to no one, least of all a jury that let itself into a room that belongs to you.</span></p><p><span>What is left when they go is quieter than you expect. Just you and the honest scratch of a pen that does not care whether the sentence is worthy, only whether it is true. In that quiet there is exactly one comparison worth making, and it has nothing to do with the woman and her ten books. </span><strong><span>It is you, today, against you yesterday, last month, last year.</span></strong><span> That line moves. Watch it, and you will find it is the only scoreboard that ever told you anything real.</span></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><strong><span>So this is your permission slip, and you may keep it.</span></strong><span> Tomorrow, open the journal in whatever dark hour is yours. Before the panel can take their seats, write one true line at the top: </span><em><strong><span>This page is mine, and no one grades it. </span></strong></em><span>Then keep your hand moving, honest rather than impressive. Your nervous system believes what you write in detail, so write, in detail, as the one who has already fired the panel and kept the pen.</span></p></div><p><span>The panel will knock again; they always do; </span><strong><span>however you do not have to open the door.</span></strong></p><p><span>With love and courage from the in-between,</span></p><p><span>Magdalena</span></p><p><span>P.S: I am curious about you. </span><strong><span>Who sits on your panel?</span></strong><span> The writer with the ten books, the mother, the teacher who graded you in red, the version of you who was supposed to have done this by now, or (be honest) the one who has been there so long you stopped noticing the chair. Hit reply and tell me. I read every one.</span></p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the &#10084;&#65039; button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Share Courage to Create &quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:&quot;button-wrapper&quot;}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary button-wrapper" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/?utm_source=substack&amp;utm_medium=email&amp;utm_content=share&amp;action=share"><span>Share Courage to Create </span></a></p>]]></content:encoded></item><item><title><![CDATA[Which brain do you live in most days?]]></title><description><![CDATA[Letters from The In-Between, No. 14]]></description><link>https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/which-brain-do-you-live-in-most-days-e13</link><guid isPermaLink="false">https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/p/which-brain-do-you-live-in-most-days-e13</guid><dc:creator><![CDATA[Magdalena Ponurska]]></dc:creator><pubDate>Sun, 30 Aug 2026 13:42:15 GMT</pubDate><enclosure url="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png" length="0" type="image/jpeg"/><content:encoded><![CDATA[<div class="captioned-image-container"><figure><a class="image-link image2 is-viewable-img" target="_blank" href="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png" data-component-name="Image2ToDOM"><div class="image2-inset"><picture><source type="image/webp" srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_424,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_848,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_1272,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw"><img 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srcset="https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_424,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 424w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_848,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 848w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_1272,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 1272w, https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/$s_!D2oK!,w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F24080e93-cada-491e-a69e-a914048beb09_1456x1048.png 1456w" sizes="100vw" fetchpriority="high"></picture><div class="image-link-expand"><div class="pencraft pc-display-flex pc-gap-8 pc-reset"><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container restack-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg aria-hidden="true" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 20 20" fill="none" stroke-width="1.5" stroke="var(--color-fg-primary)" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" class="icon-noB79L"><g><path d="M2.53001 7.81595C3.49179 4.73911 6.43281 2.5 9.91173 2.5C13.1684 2.5 15.9537 4.46214 17.0852 7.23684L17.6179 8.67647M17.6179 8.67647L18.5002 4.26471M17.6179 8.67647L13.6473 6.91176M17.4995 12.1841C16.5378 15.2609 13.5967 17.5 10.1178 17.5C6.86118 17.5 4.07589 15.5379 2.94432 12.7632L2.41165 11.3235M2.41165 11.3235L1.5293 15.7353M2.41165 11.3235L6.38224 13.0882"></path></g></svg></button><button tabindex="0" type="button" class="pencraft pc-reset pencraft icon-container view-image buttonBase-GK1x3M"><svg xmlns="http://www.w3.org/2000/svg" width="20" height="20" viewBox="0 0 24 24" fill="none" stroke="currentColor" stroke-width="2" stroke-linecap="round" stroke-linejoin="round" class="lucide lucide-maximize2 lucide-maximize-2 icon-noB79L"><polyline points="15 3 21 3 21 9"></polyline><polyline points="9 21 3 21 3 15"></polyline><line x1="21" x2="14" y1="3" y2="10"></line><line x1="3" x2="10" y1="21" y2="14"></line></svg></button></div></div></div></a></figure></div><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><span>It is Saturday, morning. The stove light is the only light on. Coffee is still dripping, and the fridge hums the way it only hums when the house is asleep. My notebook is open on the counter, and I have been sitting here and reflecting on the last fourteen days that surprised me&#8230;</span></p></div><p><span>For the past two weeks, my Business Innovation rotation was in the risk department. The assignment looked simple on paper. Sit with the team, learn what they protect and how they think. What the paper left out was the mental posture the work demands. To find the holes in a system, you have to become the person who would climb through them. You start reading an ordinary process the way a burglar reads a house, checking which window stays unlocked and which door everyone trusts because it has always held.</span></p><div class="callout-block" data-callout="true"><p><span>Let me be careful here, because I did not spend two weeks becoming a criminal. </span><strong><span>I borrowed a mindset the way you borrow a coat. You wear it for the length of the task, then you hang it back up.</span></strong><span> The criminal brain scans for weakness and works backwards from the exploit. It assumes the worst about everyone in the room, including the nice ones. Especially the nice ones.</span></p></div><p><span>Then, somewhere in the second week, something shifted. I was reading an ordinary approval workflow and a question arrived before I invited it: where would I get in. That was the moment I knew the coat had stopped feeling like a coat. The mindset had moved in.</span></p><blockquote><p><span>That got me thinking about how many brains we actually carry.</span></p></blockquote><p><strong><span>My mornings belong to the artist brain, the one that tolerates mess and keeps asking what if at strange hours</span></strong><span>. In my private practice I wear the </span><strong><span>coach and mentor brain</span></strong><span>, the one that listens more than it speaks and trusts that the person across from me already carries the answer. When I was running schools, I lived in the </span><strong><span>educator brain</span></strong><span>, watching for the moment someone was ready for the next step, then getting out of the way. And at General Motors I spent a decade in the </span><strong><span>project manager brain</span></strong><span>, thinking in dependencies and deadlines, quietly asking of every plan, what could slip.</span></p><p><span>Each one is a posture, a set of questions you can practice until they start asking themselves. The criminal brain belongs to the same family. It simply optimizes for a darker question.</span></p><blockquote><p><span>Now for the honest part, the part these letters exist for.</span></p></blockquote><p><span>While I lived in the criminal brain, my creativity dropped. Not slightly. My scripting and journaling pages went thin, two paragraphs where there are usually four. Ideas stopped finding me in the shower and the car park, which is where they usually do. Some mornings I sat at this same counter with the pen feeling heavy in my hand and produced almost nothing.</span><strong><span> That has not happened to me in a long time.</span></strong></p><p><span>At first I blamed tiredness. Sitting here this morning, I think the truth is simpler. A brain that spends all day scanning for threat has no spare room for play. </span><strong><span>Creativity needs a nervous system that feels safe enough to wander, and I had spent two weeks training mine to expect an intruder at every window. </span></strong><span>Your nervous system believes what you practice, not just what you intend.</span></p><blockquote><p><span>Which brings me to Monday.</span></p></blockquote><p><span>On Monday I move into the legal rotation, and I have a hypothesis. I am stating it plainly so you can hold me to it. My creativity is going to come back, and it may come back stronger. </span><strong><span>Legal thinking still examines systems, but it examines them from inside the rules rather than against them</span></strong><span>. I suspect that difference matters more than we assume. So I am writing the prediction down this morning, before any evidence exists. Write it first. Live it second.</span></p><p><span>You get to watch the experiment with me. Same counter, same coffee, and next Saturday I will tell you whether the hypothesis held.</span></p><p><span>Write it first. Live it second.</span></p><p><span>With love from the in-between,</span></p><p><span>Magdalena</span></p><p><span>P.S: </span>I am curious about you. <strong>Which brain do you live in most days? </strong>The artist, the coach, the educator, the project manager, or (be honest) the one checking the windows. Hit reply and tell me. I read every one.</p><p class="button-wrapper" data-attrs="{&quot;url&quot;:&quot;https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?&quot;,&quot;text&quot;:&quot;Subscribe now&quot;,&quot;action&quot;:null,&quot;class&quot;:null}" data-component-name="ButtonCreateButton"><a class="button primary" href="https://www.magdalenaponurska.com/subscribe?"><span>Subscribe now</span></a></p><p>&#128073; If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! 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