I appreciate the permission to ignore advice even as it’s being offered. That alone quiets a lot of noise.
These prompts don’t tell people who to become; they remind them they already have a voice worth trusting. This is a grounded, generous invitation back to self-authority.
“Fewer voices, clearer life” is not just a line; it’s a practice.
And this is a thoughtful, practical way to begin reclaiming it.
Dear Bob: I'm so glad it resonated with you! Love your reframe to getting back to self-authority! That's brilliant. Cheering you on in reclaiming voice!
I love this, Magdalena! I've found the advice trap issue to be especially true for me with writing advice--not the kind you give here, but fiction writing craft advice. It gets overwhelming, it conflicts, and soon I don't know what to write! My solution is to stop listening to the podcasts and read books that inspire my creativity--that offer prompts, like yours, and do my best to trust myself.
Well done! To understand a bit of one's own process as it tinkering with life and seeing how it treats us. So important!
And if I might play with this just a touch - Figure out how to give yourself space to hear yourself think as the hard part will be giving yourself permission to set most of it down and trust your own voice again. You need less noise, so take away as in substrack, but then give back to yourself as in ownership.
thanks for this I thought I am reading about myself LOL.... having tons of tabs open and sucking in one more tip, advice, hack.....just one more... And it's in the end more confusing than before. I have already started, a while ago and still doing it, deleting many of the advice/coach/input accumulated in my documents or in form of links. And just pick the ones that feel right for ME , my style and rhythm and my way/path.
Dear Claudia: I'm so happy that it resonated with you! and I'm thrilled that you felt like you were reading about yourself! You are so right and I agree with you wholeheartedly: pick ones that feel right to You, your style and way/path!
Really resonated with this! From a clinical neuroscience lens, “advice overload” isn’t a character flaw, but it’s a predictable brain response to too many competing inputs. When we’re flooded with recommendations, the prefrontal cortex (planning/prioritization) gets taxed, decision fatigue rises, and stress physiology can take over. In that state, the brain tends to default to either “do everything” (unsustainable) or “do nothing” (protective freeze). Both are understandable and both keep people stuck. What I’ve found helps patients (and frankly, clinicians too) is reframing health change as an experiment, not a personality test:
1. Pick one lever for 2–4 weeks (sleep timing, steps, protein at breakfast, strength twice weekly, etc.).
2. Define a tiny success metric (energy at 3pm, cravings, BP trend, resting HR/HRV, mood).
3. Then iterate, instead of stacking 12 new rules at once.
The paradox is that “less advice” often produces more adherence, more confidence, and better outcomes. Thanks for putting language to this so clearly!
Dear Magdalena: Another beautiful article. My browser tabs are quite similar and all too often I find myself five tasks deep after deciding to write something. The sneaky mind distracted me again... I love the simple prompts, thank you for sharing them.
I was thinking of something similar the other day. What if we reduced to the max all of the advice, the podcasts, the lists and the hacks? I think we'd be completely fine and we would - in fact - know how to lead a good and satisfactory life.
Most of what I (we?) consume is US-American-centric anyway. The work life and society are not the same as in Europe, so we drown in semi-applicable advice. Similar to what you say, I think hearing your own thoughts, giving yourself space, without consumption, is a luxury.
Dear Monica: I love that you honed onto the LUXURY of the space of giving ourselves the space to hear our own thoughts! Yes, Yes, Yes! Maybe my word for 2026 should be LUXURY of THINKING?...Great inquiry!
I know I've allowed myself to get seduced by the self help promises over the years. It's not through lack of understanding for what is going on, its the dopamine trigger from the relentless optimism that is served up to me from the self help community.
I have to take responsibility for "cooling off" and dialing it down, but its difficult not to conflate digesting self help with havingn a "growth" mindset.
As a counter strategy I have found it helpful to track the ratio of consume vs. create activity, and try and dial up my "creator" mode (journaling, writing notes etc) when I can.
Dear Jim: I love what you came up with! That's brilliant! Tracking the ratio of consume vs create! and dialing up "creating mode! For me, I limit my "diet" of consume to 20 min (set alarm clock - once it goes off, I'm off from consume (digital media)) and I give myself more time to read - actual - hard cover books, magazines. I love that you found what works for YOU! Keep going! Cheering you on!
"Advice gives us the illusion of progress without the vulnerability of actually choosing something and committing to it." I love this Magdalena... and I laughed with utter recognition throughout this essay.
The thing that strikes me more and more is the awareness that I use these behaviors -- listening to & searching for OPI-- other people's information -- because I bought into this lie about being An Expert-- thinking that's the only way someone will listen to you if you have a "calling" of some kind. This year I'm switching gears to trust that my own life stories are valuable in themselves, when I mine for their gold... and invite others to sit in community with me to share their stories with others.
Dear Linda: I love this idea of OPI! (lol) - I might borrow it from you - love the acronym! and yes - the expert thinking...trap. Cheers to permission for ourselves to deep and critical thinking for ourselves and more creation less consumption!
I've done your 20 Minute Challenge and created a potential business from that.
Now I have 5 pages of notes after answering your 3 questions. I could probably repeat your 20 Minute Challenge again but now I don't know what I AM statement I should make.
Dear Jack: congratulations on creating a potential business from the 20 min challenge! I love that you took action and got an amazing results! My recommendation is: do it again and let's see what happens! My intuition is telling me that your results will be even more extraordinary! Cheering you on, M!
I have done your 20 Minutes twice. The second try made a narrower statement and gave me ways to expand the scope of my business but would make it much harder to control and direct. Ill leave that for business expansion Phase 3. LOL
"... Some of it will be useful. Most of it will be noise. And your job isn’t to consume it all. Your job is to decide what you actually need, what serves you right now, and what you can set down without guilt."
Here's my mission: To quieten the external noise and listen to your inner voice with acceptance and grace.
I love this piece, and with your permission, I'm borrowing your three prompts for an article due today. It's in a local tabloid I've had a column in for eight years, Senior Voice.
Dear Donna: of course! You are more then welcome to borrow, use it, repurpose and I love that you have a column in a local - printed (lol- gasp) paper! Sending you lots of love. You are such a sparkle of joy and humor!
Dear Amy: I see you! I hear you! and you are in a really good company! We all do it or done it! Give yourself permission to think through writing and watch the miracles happen! Cheering you on! M
Great stuff that resonates deeply.
I appreciate the permission to ignore advice even as it’s being offered. That alone quiets a lot of noise.
These prompts don’t tell people who to become; they remind them they already have a voice worth trusting. This is a grounded, generous invitation back to self-authority.
“Fewer voices, clearer life” is not just a line; it’s a practice.
And this is a thoughtful, practical way to begin reclaiming it.
Dear Bob: I'm so glad it resonated with you! Love your reframe to getting back to self-authority! That's brilliant. Cheering you on in reclaiming voice!
It's just crazy how much input we get daily and I was searching for THE answer for a long time.
And then I just didn't have time anymore to think my own thoughts and create my own words.
It's a challenge to to decrease input but possible by taking charge of our time and how we spend it
I nodded at some of the salient points and archived to reread your article without the TV on (talk about noise.) Then I went to work. Thank you.
I love this, Magdalena! I've found the advice trap issue to be especially true for me with writing advice--not the kind you give here, but fiction writing craft advice. It gets overwhelming, it conflicts, and soon I don't know what to write! My solution is to stop listening to the podcasts and read books that inspire my creativity--that offer prompts, like yours, and do my best to trust myself.
Well done! To understand a bit of one's own process as it tinkering with life and seeing how it treats us. So important!
And if I might play with this just a touch - Figure out how to give yourself space to hear yourself think as the hard part will be giving yourself permission to set most of it down and trust your own voice again. You need less noise, so take away as in substrack, but then give back to yourself as in ownership.
thanks for this I thought I am reading about myself LOL.... having tons of tabs open and sucking in one more tip, advice, hack.....just one more... And it's in the end more confusing than before. I have already started, a while ago and still doing it, deleting many of the advice/coach/input accumulated in my documents or in form of links. And just pick the ones that feel right for ME , my style and rhythm and my way/path.
The prompts are good.
Dear Claudia: I'm so happy that it resonated with you! and I'm thrilled that you felt like you were reading about yourself! You are so right and I agree with you wholeheartedly: pick ones that feel right to You, your style and way/path!
Really resonated with this! From a clinical neuroscience lens, “advice overload” isn’t a character flaw, but it’s a predictable brain response to too many competing inputs. When we’re flooded with recommendations, the prefrontal cortex (planning/prioritization) gets taxed, decision fatigue rises, and stress physiology can take over. In that state, the brain tends to default to either “do everything” (unsustainable) or “do nothing” (protective freeze). Both are understandable and both keep people stuck. What I’ve found helps patients (and frankly, clinicians too) is reframing health change as an experiment, not a personality test:
1. Pick one lever for 2–4 weeks (sleep timing, steps, protein at breakfast, strength twice weekly, etc.).
2. Define a tiny success metric (energy at 3pm, cravings, BP trend, resting HR/HRV, mood).
3. Then iterate, instead of stacking 12 new rules at once.
The paradox is that “less advice” often produces more adherence, more confidence, and better outcomes. Thanks for putting language to this so clearly!
Dear Nextdoor PCP: I love your 3 step process! So practical and so doable and so brilliant!
Dear Magdalena: Another beautiful article. My browser tabs are quite similar and all too often I find myself five tasks deep after deciding to write something. The sneaky mind distracted me again... I love the simple prompts, thank you for sharing them.
Dear Nicola: Thank you! I'm so glad that it resonate with you! And yes, sneaky mind loves to distract us and "help" us in procrastinating...
“Consuming feels productive, but it often keeps us stuck.”
That’s going to stay with me. I see how easily learning turns into a way of putting off deciding.
I’m so glad that it resonated with you!
I try to incorporate the various pieces of advice into a personal system for implementing the advice.
Rarely is a single piece of advice sufficient on its own, so a system uses 3-4 interconnected ideas.
I was thinking of something similar the other day. What if we reduced to the max all of the advice, the podcasts, the lists and the hacks? I think we'd be completely fine and we would - in fact - know how to lead a good and satisfactory life.
Most of what I (we?) consume is US-American-centric anyway. The work life and society are not the same as in Europe, so we drown in semi-applicable advice. Similar to what you say, I think hearing your own thoughts, giving yourself space, without consumption, is a luxury.
Dear Monica: I love that you honed onto the LUXURY of the space of giving ourselves the space to hear our own thoughts! Yes, Yes, Yes! Maybe my word for 2026 should be LUXURY of THINKING?...Great inquiry!
Great post - thanks for calling this out!
I know I've allowed myself to get seduced by the self help promises over the years. It's not through lack of understanding for what is going on, its the dopamine trigger from the relentless optimism that is served up to me from the self help community.
I have to take responsibility for "cooling off" and dialing it down, but its difficult not to conflate digesting self help with havingn a "growth" mindset.
As a counter strategy I have found it helpful to track the ratio of consume vs. create activity, and try and dial up my "creator" mode (journaling, writing notes etc) when I can.
Dear Jim: I love what you came up with! That's brilliant! Tracking the ratio of consume vs create! and dialing up "creating mode! For me, I limit my "diet" of consume to 20 min (set alarm clock - once it goes off, I'm off from consume (digital media)) and I give myself more time to read - actual - hard cover books, magazines. I love that you found what works for YOU! Keep going! Cheering you on!
"Advice gives us the illusion of progress without the vulnerability of actually choosing something and committing to it." I love this Magdalena... and I laughed with utter recognition throughout this essay.
The thing that strikes me more and more is the awareness that I use these behaviors -- listening to & searching for OPI-- other people's information -- because I bought into this lie about being An Expert-- thinking that's the only way someone will listen to you if you have a "calling" of some kind. This year I'm switching gears to trust that my own life stories are valuable in themselves, when I mine for their gold... and invite others to sit in community with me to share their stories with others.
Dear Linda: I love this idea of OPI! (lol) - I might borrow it from you - love the acronym! and yes - the expert thinking...trap. Cheers to permission for ourselves to deep and critical thinking for ourselves and more creation less consumption!
I've done your 20 Minute Challenge and created a potential business from that.
Now I have 5 pages of notes after answering your 3 questions. I could probably repeat your 20 Minute Challenge again but now I don't know what I AM statement I should make.
Oh woe is me.
Dear Jack: congratulations on creating a potential business from the 20 min challenge! I love that you took action and got an amazing results! My recommendation is: do it again and let's see what happens! My intuition is telling me that your results will be even more extraordinary! Cheering you on, M!
I have done your 20 Minutes twice. The second try made a narrower statement and gave me ways to expand the scope of my business but would make it much harder to control and direct. Ill leave that for business expansion Phase 3. LOL
Amazing Jack! I love your tenacity!!! Phase 3 = business expansion! Cheering you on! It's going to truly extraordinary!
You're right again, Magdalena!
"... Some of it will be useful. Most of it will be noise. And your job isn’t to consume it all. Your job is to decide what you actually need, what serves you right now, and what you can set down without guilt."
Here's my mission: To quieten the external noise and listen to your inner voice with acceptance and grace.
I love this piece, and with your permission, I'm borrowing your three prompts for an article due today. It's in a local tabloid I've had a column in for eight years, Senior Voice.
You know, the ones printed on paper 😁
Dear Donna: of course! You are more then welcome to borrow, use it, repurpose and I love that you have a column in a local - printed (lol- gasp) paper! Sending you lots of love. You are such a sparkle of joy and humor!
Also guilty of hiding (and now feeling very seen!)
Dear Amy: I see you! I hear you! and you are in a really good company! We all do it or done it! Give yourself permission to think through writing and watch the miracles happen! Cheering you on! M
Love this, thank you!