I Was Doing the Work But the Work Wasn’t Working

A story about identity, neuroscience, and why your transformation keeps stalling

Photo by Barbare Kacharava on Unsplash

I was sitting on my bathroom floor.

Not the spa-like version. The real one. Cold tiles against my legs. A pile of towels I meant to fold two days ago. My toothbrush still buzzing on the counter because I dropped it mid-thought.

My journal lay open beside me. Half a sentence stared back at me. Something about trust. Or clarity. Or whatever I thought I was supposed to be “processing” that morning.

The meditation timer on my phone kept going. Chimes. Silence. Chimes again. None of it calming the frantic electricity sitting under my ribs.

And in that tiny, unremarkable moment, knees pulled to my chest, breath shallow, mind doing its usual sprint, a sentence landed with the weight of truth:

I was doing the work. But the work wasn’t working.

Not the journaling. Not the affirmations. Not the meditation. Not the “you’ve got this” podcasts I kept forcing into my ears. Not the vision boards taped to my wall like performance evaluations for a future self I kept failing to become.

I was working non stop.

I was disciplined.

I was determined.

I was trying. Hard.

And still… there I was. On the bathroom floor. With nothing to show for years of “doing the work” except more exhaustion.

Something had to change. But I didn’t know what

The Pattern We Don’t See

Here’s the part no one tells you.

You can do all the “right things.” You can journal your heart out. Meditate every morning. Repeat affirmations until your throat dries. Fill notebooks with goals and gratitude lists.

And still wake up as the same person.

Because all of that effort was aimed at my behavior. Not at my identity.

I didn’t need more tools. I needed a new entry point.

The Neuroscience Mistake Almost Everyone Makes

Your brain doesn’t change just because you want it to. It changes because you give it a new identity to attach to.

Here’s the part that cracked something open for me:

You cannot act like a different person while thinking like the same one.

The Reticular Activating System (RAS)—the gatekeeper of your attention—filters your reality based on who you believe you are.

If your identity stays the same, your brain will keep showing you evidence that confirms it.

That’s why I kept repeating the same year with new journals. The same decisions with new affirmations. The same burnout with new podcasts.

I kept updating the apps. But my operating system stayed the same.

Until that moment on the bathroom floor when I stopped trying to change my behavior and started asking a different kind of question.

The Question That Changed Everything

The shift didn’t happen during a meditation retreat. Or a course. Or after reading another book about manifestation.

It happened right there, with a single question.

“What if I became the kind of writer whose words change people’s lives?”

Something inside me softened. My breath steadied. My shoulders lowered.

It wasn’t an affirmation. It wasn’t a goal. It wasn’t a demand.

It was curiosity. And curiosity opens the prefrontal cortex. Curiosity makes change feel safe.

That one question acted like a key. It didn’t force me to be different. It let me try on a different identity.

And that changed everything.

The Shift: Why That One Question Works

The brain can’t rehearse a new life until it has a new identity to rehearse as.

You’re not visualizing. You’re not manifesting. You’re not pretending.

You’re installing a reference point. A future identity your nervous system can trust.

This is the foundation of Future Scripting.

Not wishful thinking. Not magical thinking. Identity installation

The 20-Minute Exercise That Rewired My Life

After that question, I did something simple.

I sat down and wrote the future scene as if it already happened.

Not the goals. Not the outcomes. The moment.

Where I was sitting. What I was wearing. How my body felt. What I was saying. What I believed.

I didn’t write: “I will be a successful writer.”

I wrote: “I’m sitting at my desk, afternoon light streaming through the window. My readers are emailing me—the piece moved them to tears. My chest feels open. My shoulders are relaxed. I’m smiling at my screen, thinking: This is what I was made for.”

Not goals. Moments. Moments your nervous system can believe.

I wrote it with sensory detail. With emotion. With precision.

And my nervous system did what nervous systems do: It responded to vivid imagery as if it were real.

If your brain believes the scene, your identity begins moving toward it. Not with force. With alignment.

That is why Future Scripting works. It doesn’t motivate you. It rewires you.

Before and After

Before this shift, I was drowning in exhaustion. Over-efforting my way through every day, doing everything right but getting nowhere. Stuck inside an identity too small for my life. Telling myself stories that kept me safe but not alive.

After? Clarity. Emotional steadiness. Creative momentum that feels like wind at my back instead of weight on my shoulders. Decisions that feel clean and immediate. An identity that finally matches the life I want to live.

Nothing external changed first. The shift began inside me.

I rewired the woman who was making the choices.

The Universal Truth

Most people don’t fail at change. They fail at identity design.

You can’t change your life without changing the story of the person living it.

If the work hasn’t been working for you, you’re not behind. You’re not missing discipline. You were just missing the identity layer.

And once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

The Invitation

If you’re tired of doing the work with no results… try this:

Ask yourself one identity-shifting question today. Then write the scene of the moment when it becomes true. Make it vivid enough that your nervous system believes you.

One or two pages. Twenty minutes. No overthinking.

Your next life isn’t built through effort. It’s built through identity.

And you’re one script away.

Want to go deeper?

I’m teaching this method with Neera Mahajan in a live workshop on Saturday, December 13th, 2025 at 4 PM PST / 7 PM EST: “20 Minutes to Solve Your Hardest Problems.”

We’ll walk you through the exact process, step by step.

Or start right now: Write one scene. Twenty minutes. See what shifts.

If you try this, I’d love to know—what’s your identity question? Drop it in the comments. Sometimes sharing it out loud is the first step to making it real.