The Secret Courage No One Talks About: Apologizing.
True bravery is facing your own hypocrisy and building a better you.
Forty years. A thousand lives touched. Two children raised.
And through it all, the unwavering current of resilience. I’ve got the incredible chance to interview this extraordinary individual, a coach, writer, and father, and go beyond the surface.
What drives him? What lessons has he learned in a life marked by both hardship and triumph? He speaks candidly, not of polished achievements but of the raw, unvarnished truth of personal growth.
He reveals the courage it takes to confront inner demons, the solace found in the roar of a motorcycle, and the profound joy of watching his children flourish.
He tells us why vulnerability is his strength and why, even after decades, he believes the most courageous act is simply to keep going. Prepare to be inspired, challenged, and perhaps to see your own journey in a new light.
Meet
Q: Tell us a bit about your background.
I’ve always had a compulsion to solve problems—since early childhood, really. There’s nothing more satisfying than untangling a conundrum. My career spans almost 40 years (yes, 40 years! I can hardly believe it myself), starting in sales and operational management.
For the last 20+ years, I’ve focused on helping over 1,000 individuals enhance their leadership skills, improve performance, and unlock more of their potential.
But if you ask me what I’m most proud of, it’s the positive difference I hope that I’ve made in my children’s lives. They’re now 26 and 18, and watching them grow has been the greatest reward.
Coming from a fractured family and being sent away to school at the age of 11, I made a conscious decision that, no matter what happened in my relationship with their mother, I would always be a present father.
Raising my son and daughter has been the making of me, and without a doubt, my greatest achievement, though they might roll their eyes at that!
Q: If you had to choose an SEO keyword for your life, what would it be?
Resilience is the word that most defines my life.
I’ve faced plenty of challenges, and like anyone else, I’ve had to adapt, bounce back, and keep moving forward. Resilience is a quality I developed early in life and I try to bring it to every aspect of my work, from coaching to writing and my friendships.
Q: What are your hobbies, passions, obsessions, or what excites or inspires you? What sets your soul on fire?
I’m a firm believer in finding clarity and sanity through action. Fitness is crucial for my mental health; riding my motorbike gives me a sense of freedom, and long-range target shooting sharpens my focus.
For me, these activities are a kind of "mindlessness" - not in the negative sense, but in the way they allow me to live fully in the present without thinking about the past or worrying about the future.
I also have a deep love for nature, especially mountains. I find people fascinating, and, of course, my grown children remain the center of my world.
Q: What is the most courageous thing you’ve ever done?
I’ve done plenty of things in life that others might call brave, but I don’t think that’s where true courage lies.
For me, it takes courage and strength of character to keep going when you want to quit—when those around you are deliberately or inadvertently undermining your self-esteem.
I’m also fast to apologize when I make a mistake or offend someone (that happens far too often for my liking!).
It also takes heart to address your flaws and strive to become a better person than the examples one had growing up.
It’s about holding myself positively to account and standing up to the things that irritate me the most: hypocrisy, bullying, and entitlement. It’s easy to point the finger at others, but it takes real bravery to look inward and make lasting changes in yourself.
Q: Why do you write on Substack?
I began writing as a way to cope with the emotional strain of caring for my elderly mother, who has Alzheimer’s.
We are not close, and my sense of duty put me in a very difficult position.
For me, writing became an outlet, a space to reflect, and ultimately a way to tap into a deeper creative well I wasn’t even sure existed.
Now, I write to explore ideas, share stories, and connect with others who might resonate with those experiences.
At present, I’m working on three books: Empower Her, a guide for fathers raising strong, independent daughters; The Great Online Dating Con, which looks at how our drive for convenience has replaced human connection in modern dating; and Journey to Resilience, a book about using life’s toughest lessons to build adaptability and inner strength.
I’m also working on two stories for films (it's a secret though).
Q: What are your values as a writer/creator/leader?
It’s the same values I strive to live by in every aspect of my life: honesty, integrity, and self-reflection.
As a writer, my aim is to craft stories that connect on a deeper level, but without taking things too seriously or getting overly intellectual. I like to add a touch of dark humor where it fits, helping readers see a bit of themselves in my words and, hopefully, encouraging them to reflect on their own lives.
As a coach, my values are much the same - integrity, empathy, and always holding myself accountable, especially when it’s uncomfortable or difficult.
Q: How do you connect with your readers/team?
I engage with readers and colleagues in the same way I approach life: with honesty and a desire to connect on a human level. Writing on Substack allows me to be real, not just polished or "selling" an idea. I’m still growing as a writer, somewhere between apprentice and journeyman, and I enjoy the process as much as the product.
My aim is to entertain, provoke thought, and - if I’m lucky - maybe even help someone see a new perspective.
While others might focus on commercializing their work, I’m currently more interested in sharing meaningful stories and conversations with those who resonate with my words.
Q: Why did you join the Courage to Create project, and how do you find it so far?
I didn’t know much about the Courage to Create project when I joined, but I’ve always been a believer in collaboration and building something meaningful with others.
I’m hoping it will be an inspiring and mutually beneficial space where I’m able to connect with like-minded individuals who share a passion for personal growth and community-building.
If you enjoyed this share and resonate with
’s way of being, subscribe and reach out! He’d love to hear from you.
👉 If you enjoy reading this post, feel free to share it with friends! Or feel free to click the ❤️ button on this post so more people can discover it on Substack
As a teacher breaking up fisticuffs with boys, or insult, scratch, and sulk fights with girls. I would give them a minute to calm down, then ask them to apologise. If neither party could do it genuinely, I would introduce, at length, a few worse alternatives, such as sitting on different ends of the verandah until classes resumed. Me writing out an incident form which led to a phonecall home to parents, or taking them to see the 6 foot tall deputy headmaster, which made them uncomfortable and could leave them carrying a card around for a week, which their parents had to sign.
After 6 minutes of telling them consequences again, I would ask them to apologise to each other as best they could. Tell them once more how their behaviour didn't do them any good, and it ruined a friendship and would divide their group of friends to Take Sides for months. I would give them 10 seconds to decide.
Nine times out of ten, they would say sorry, shake hands, fist bump, elbow touch or even hug.
The secret was the quiet settling time. They may have feared the consequences, but usually it was fairly hearty, sometimes it even made them better friends.
It was easy. I wish most of the world's, or even marital, or work conflicts could be solved so easily.
When you know what's at stake and you have cool down time to think, a real apology is the best solution.
It doesn't excuse bad behaviour, but it patches up the worst of the bleeding.
I enjoyed reading this interview Mark. One word it took to connect again, no not mom, or Alzheimer's. Resilience. I am trying to incorporate cold water and weather exposure now, together with multi-day fasting (infrequently). Being out in nature to be mindless helps... As always, I am around even though you do not see me, I too enjoy having you around. Happy weekend and no stresses...