The Traffic Jam That Changed My Life

I’ve discovered how to change my emotional response to stressors and you can learn that too

It was a Friday morning, the kind where the sun was shining, the birds were chirping, and the traffic was… well, it was atrocious.

Horns blared, brakes screeched, and my stress level was rising faster than the mercury on a summer day.

I was stuck in a jam that seemed to stretch for miles, and as I sat there fuming, it hit me: I wasn’t just stressed about the traffic. I was stressed about my stress.

The bumper-to-bumper crawl wasn’t just a minor inconvenience. It was a full-blown emotional meltdown in the making. My heart was racing, my palms were sweaty, and my mind was a whirlwind of negativity.

Now, you might be thinking, “Well, duh, traffic is stressful. Who wouldn’t be annoyed?” And you’d be right. But here’s the thing: it wasn’t the traffic itself that was draining my energy. It was my reaction to the traffic.

Stress: It’s Not What You Think It Is

Stress, as we often understand it, is a bit of a misnomer. It’s not the external event or situation (the “stressor”) that’s the problem. It’s the emotional response we have to that stressor.

Think of it like this: a roller coaster ride might fill one person with sheer terror, while another person is having the time of their life. Same stressor, different emotional response.

So, if it’s our emotions that are causing the stress, can we change them? And if so, can that change how we handle stressful situations?

The answer, is a resounding yes.

The Science of Stress and Emotions

Let’s take a quick dive into the science of stress. When we encounter a stressor, our bodies release a cocktail of hormones, including cortisol and adrenaline. These hormones trigger the “fight-or-flight” response, preparing us to either confront the threat or run for the hills.

But here’s the kicker: this response is meant for short-term, life-threatening situations, not for sitting in traffic or dealing with a demanding boss.

When we experience chronic stress, our bodies are in a constant state of fight-or-flight, which can lead to a whole host of physical and mental health problems.

The Emotional Toll of Stress

But stress isn’t just a physical issue. It takes a toll on our emotions, too. When we’re stressed, we’re more likely to experience negative emotions like anger, frustration, and impatience.

These emotions, in turn, can lead to a vicious cycle of stress. We get angry about being stuck in traffic, which makes us more stressed, which makes us angrier… you get the idea.

Changing Your Emotional Response

So, how do we break this cycle? By learning to change our emotional response to stressors.

This doesn’t mean pretending that everything is sunshine and roses. It means recognizing our emotions, accepting them, and then choosing how we want to respond.

For example, instead of getting angry about the traffic jam, I could have taken a few deep breaths, listened to some calming music, or even used the time to catch up on a podcast.

By changing my emotional response, I could have changed the entire experience. Instead of being a source of stress, the traffic jam could have been a moment of peace and relaxation.

The Power of Emotional Regulation

This ability to change our emotional response is called emotional regulation, and it’s a skill that we can all learn and improve upon.

When we regulate our emotions, we’re not suppressing them or denying them. We’re simply choosing how we want to express them.

And when we choose to respond to stressors with positive emotions like calmness, acceptance, and even humor, we can reduce the draining effect that stress has on our energy and well-being.

The Ripple Effect of Emotional Change

Changing our emotional response to stressors doesn’t just affect us in the moment. It can have a ripple effect on our lives, influencing our relationships, our work, and even our decision-making.

Imagine how different my day would have been if I had handled the traffic jam with grace and composure instead of anger and frustration. I would have arrived at work feeling refreshed and energized, ready to tackle the day’s challenges.

But the benefits don’t stop there. By changing our emotional response, we can also change the way we interact with others. We’re less likely to snap at our loved ones, more likely to collaborate effectively with our colleagues, and more open to new ideas and opportunities.

Stress is Here To Stay

Stress is a part of life. But it doesn’t have to control us. By learning to change our emotional response to stressors, we can reclaim our power, reduce the negative impact of stress, and live more fulfilling lives.

So, the next time you find yourself in a stressful situation, take a moment to pause, breathe, and choose your response. You might be surprised at how much difference it can make.

Curious about your strengths that you can use in stressful situations? Take the free VIA character strengths survey! -> [the VIA survey]