The Uncomfortable Truth About Your Best Qualities
Navigating the shadow of success
Sunday edition of heart-centered leading
The Strength Spectrum
Let's face an inconvenient truth: even our greatest strengths can have a dark side. Those qualities we usually love about ourselves can, under the wrong circumstances, become our worst enemies. Think of it as the "too much of a good thing" dilemma.
For example, your laser-focused determination? It might be seen as stubbornness when you refuse to budge on an idea. Or your infectious enthusiasm might come across as overbearing. The challenge for strong leaders lies in managing the spectrum of their strengths and maximizing the upside while minimizing downfalls.
The Strength Paradox
Here's where things get interesting. Almost every strength can be overused or underused. Let's break it down:
Overused Strengths
You're leaning so heavily on a particular strength that it becomes irritating. Think of that team member obsessed with details during a brainstorming session where big-picture thinking is critical. It's well-intended, but it often grinds progress to a halt.
Underused Strengths
Perhaps due to fear, habit, or just a lack of awareness, you shy away from using a strength that could be incredibly helpful. For example, a naturally empathetic leader might avoid difficult conversations, missing out on the chance to build trust and clear the air.
Spotting the Red Flags
How do you know when a strength veers off track? Here are a few warning signs:
Frustration in Others: Are people rolling their eyes, tuning you out, or starting to clash with you? This might be a clue that your strength-in-overdrive mode is derailing collaboration.
Feeling Drained: Activating strengths should be energizing. If using a certain strength leaves you feeling exhausted instead of uplifted, it's time to rethink your approach.
Stuck in a Rut: Relying on the same few strengths can create blind spots and limit your effectiveness. You might be solving problems the same way every time, missing out on innovative solutions.
Exercise: Your Strength Audit
Take some time for honest reflection with this audit exercise:
1. Top 3 Strengths: List your go-to powerhouse strengths.2. Overuse Tendencies: How might each strength backfire when pushed too far? Be brutally honest!3. Underused Gems: Which strengths further down your VIA inventory could you tap into more often to add balance?4. Situational Awareness: Consider the specific leadership challenges you typically face. Where might adjusting your strength usage make a difference?Finding Your Strength Sweet Spot
The goal isn't to become so cautious that you stifle your strengths, but to develop the finesse to know when to dial them up or down strategically. Here's a useful mindset shift: Think of your strengths as a collection of precision tools, not a blunt hammer you use for everything.
Sometimes, the most powerful leadership move is exercising restraint. Holding back your brilliant analysis to give your team space to brainstorm. Channeling your humor to defuse tension rather than bulldozing through with sheer determination. These subtle adjustments create greater impact.
Your Challenge (Should You Accept It)
Choose one strength you tend to overuse. For the next week, pay close attention to moments when it might be edging into problematic territory. Then, experiment with:
Substituting: Could you consciously tap into a less-dominant strength for a change?Counterbalancing: Pair your overused strength with a complementary one for a more balanced approach.Remember, this is about becoming a more agile and adaptable leader. It's your strengths that give you that flexibility! Let's keep building on this foundation of self-awareness. Next, we'll turn your attention to one of the most critical areas of leadership – how to leverage your strengths to influence, persuade, and build a truly dynamic team.
To Say it Differently…
Think of your strengths as audio levels on a soundboard. Crank that determination too high and you get the screeching feedback of bullheadedness. Your kindness dialed up too much turns into pushover territory. True leadership mastery comes from finding the sweet spot on those sliders. Sometimes you lead with a booming bassline of decisiveness, other times a gentle melody of empathy. The most powerful leaders are those who become expert mixers, constantly adjusting their strengths for maximum impact.
VIA: Your Strength-Decoding Tool
The most well-respected tool for uncovering your character strengths is called the VIA Survey of Character Strengths. It's free, has a ton of research backing it up, and takes only 15 minutes to complete.
VIA Survey Link:
Go ahead and do the VIA Survey now. I’ll wait…
Don't overthink the survey; go with your gut reactions. The key is honesty, not trying to guess the "right" answers. When you're done, you'll get a ranking of all 24 strengths. This is your starting line, your personalized leadership blueprint.
I will see you next week, ready to move forward based on your results.
Or to get ahead and support my writing, you can purchase my ebook on Amazon: “Fall in Love With Your Inner Leader: Become More Connected, Confident, Creative in 7 Weeks.”