I was in college. I was an interior design major taking my first ever watercolor class. I was away from home for the first time in a strange town in the early 90s. She was my watercolor professor, and her name was Millie Giles. Yes, same last name as me. She shredded my work in every critique, and I cried a river after every class. My work wasn't good. But it was getting better. Isn't that why we take a class?? To learn?? She certainly wasn't teaching us anything! By the final project I had taught myself enough that when I brought it in she asked, in front of the whole class, "Who did you hire to paint that for you??" She begrudgingly passed me with a C. My best friend died over Christmas break; I dropped out and didn't paint in watercolor again for almost 20 years. Then I became an art teacher and really TAUGHT my students how to use the medium. Thank you for sharing and for giving this new Substack writer my next post.
Dear Amy: thank you so much for sharing this heartbreaking story in such open and authentic way! WOW! I sense so much angst and pain and yet I love how victorious you emerged: by: "then I became an art teacher and really TAUGHT my students how to use the medium." I had goose bumps reading that! Can't wait to read your story! Cheering you on, and welcome to the Courage to Create community! M
This moved me. Why do young girls— and older ones too— listen to the world over their own voice? I had an experience similar to yours. In junior high, I started a Drama Club at my high school. Then I auditioned— and did not get in. Never told why. My beloved English teacher dealt my sensitive heart a mortal blow. I never tried drama again. And struggled with crippling performance anxiety through much of my career as a professional pianist. I write a poem to that teacher, and sent it with a letter to the most recent address I could find. It came back to me, undeliverable. I’m glad I wrote it and sent it— released me from that pain. Writing has so much power to heal and reveal, it’s almost magical! Thank you for sharing.
Dear Sue: this is such a great question..we do we listen to the world over our own voices....I'm really sorry to hear about your Drama Club experience! And you are so right:"Writing has so much power to heal and reveal, it’s almost magical!" it is so healing! Cheering you on! M
Thank you, Keli! I needed that! I will do my first voice over this weekend and tag you - since you are the inspiration - as I’ve been dragging my feet!
I was studying fine arts in college, those were also troubled years for me. When I graduated, my mother said to me angrily "I don't want you to bring back your things in here".
That left me very confused. I was going to study fine arts at University. I dropped out, and never touched art materials for another 25 to 30 years.
Dear Sylvie: thank you for feeling, seeing me! I do hope that you do some forms of art now..and that you got to heal from that statement...sending you hugs! M
Tell me if you've written it, even if it's for your own eyes only... but better still if you publish it and don't care what other people say about it. Who knows, maybe someone needs to read it as much as you need to write it.
Yes, I did it! It was incredibly "freeing" experience! more on that process coming soon in my letters from between! thanks for the accountability! I totally love and totally appreciate it! You are the best !
Great! Thank you for taking the challenge and walking into freedom. Thank you for showing us how to become ourselves! and for letting us see the vulnerable you processing it's growth and battles. It's inspiring and modelling a way out for us as well.
This was such a beautiful piece Magdalena. The part about one sentence keeping you from writing for twenty years really stayed with me. It made me think about the music and drawing I stopped pursuing when I was young because someone else decided they weren’t worth my time. I still wonder where those parts of me might have led if I’d been given the chance to keep following them 💕
Dear Sara: thank you for your kind words! and I'm sorry to hear about stopping your music and drawing...I do hope that you will be able to reconnect with it...somehow...soon. Cheering you on, M
Dear Rachel: thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so glad that it resonated with you! You are spot on - inherited beliefs and having awareness is a great step 0.
I was in college. I was an interior design major taking my first ever watercolor class. I was away from home for the first time in a strange town in the early 90s. She was my watercolor professor, and her name was Millie Giles. Yes, same last name as me. She shredded my work in every critique, and I cried a river after every class. My work wasn't good. But it was getting better. Isn't that why we take a class?? To learn?? She certainly wasn't teaching us anything! By the final project I had taught myself enough that when I brought it in she asked, in front of the whole class, "Who did you hire to paint that for you??" She begrudgingly passed me with a C. My best friend died over Christmas break; I dropped out and didn't paint in watercolor again for almost 20 years. Then I became an art teacher and really TAUGHT my students how to use the medium. Thank you for sharing and for giving this new Substack writer my next post.
Dear Amy: thank you so much for sharing this heartbreaking story in such open and authentic way! WOW! I sense so much angst and pain and yet I love how victorious you emerged: by: "then I became an art teacher and really TAUGHT my students how to use the medium." I had goose bumps reading that! Can't wait to read your story! Cheering you on, and welcome to the Courage to Create community! M
This moved me. Why do young girls— and older ones too— listen to the world over their own voice? I had an experience similar to yours. In junior high, I started a Drama Club at my high school. Then I auditioned— and did not get in. Never told why. My beloved English teacher dealt my sensitive heart a mortal blow. I never tried drama again. And struggled with crippling performance anxiety through much of my career as a professional pianist. I write a poem to that teacher, and sent it with a letter to the most recent address I could find. It came back to me, undeliverable. I’m glad I wrote it and sent it— released me from that pain. Writing has so much power to heal and reveal, it’s almost magical! Thank you for sharing.
Dear Sue: this is such a great question..we do we listen to the world over our own voices....I'm really sorry to hear about your Drama Club experience! And you are so right:"Writing has so much power to heal and reveal, it’s almost magical!" it is so healing! Cheering you on! M
Moved me to tears. Glad you stopped listening to that stupid man!! (((Hugs)))
Dear Beth: thank you so much for your kind, loving and generous words and thank you so much for your hugs! Deeply appreciate you!
*I love listening to posts and would love to hear yours in a female voice. Thank you for the consideration.
Thank you, Keli! I needed that! I will do my first voice over this weekend and tag you - since you are the inspiration - as I’ve been dragging my feet!
Glad to be of service through inspiration! It's gonna be great.
Dear Magdalena,
I was studying fine arts in college, those were also troubled years for me. When I graduated, my mother said to me angrily "I don't want you to bring back your things in here".
That left me very confused. I was going to study fine arts at University. I dropped out, and never touched art materials for another 25 to 30 years.
I feel you
Dear Sylvie: thank you for feeling, seeing me! I do hope that you do some forms of art now..and that you got to heal from that statement...sending you hugs! M
Why not write a poem in Polish today? Your heart still speaks Polish... And it may have something to say.
Love your thinking, Laura! Totally on it!
Tell me if you've written it, even if it's for your own eyes only... but better still if you publish it and don't care what other people say about it. Who knows, maybe someone needs to read it as much as you need to write it.
Yes, I did it! It was incredibly "freeing" experience! more on that process coming soon in my letters from between! thanks for the accountability! I totally love and totally appreciate it! You are the best !
Great! Thank you for taking the challenge and walking into freedom. Thank you for showing us how to become ourselves! and for letting us see the vulnerable you processing it's growth and battles. It's inspiring and modelling a way out for us as well.
Dear Laura: thank you for your kind and supportive words! Greatly appreciate you!
This was such a beautiful piece Magdalena. The part about one sentence keeping you from writing for twenty years really stayed with me. It made me think about the music and drawing I stopped pursuing when I was young because someone else decided they weren’t worth my time. I still wonder where those parts of me might have led if I’d been given the chance to keep following them 💕
Dear Sara: thank you for your kind words! and I'm sorry to hear about stopping your music and drawing...I do hope that you will be able to reconnect with it...somehow...soon. Cheering you on, M
Beautiful notes on process and inherited beliefs - thank you x
Dear Rachel: thank you so much for your kind words and I'm so glad that it resonated with you! You are spot on - inherited beliefs and having awareness is a great step 0.