45 Comments
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Your Nextdoor PCP's avatar

This framing is so clinically true, and honestly liberating! “I don’t have time” often isn’t a calendar problem; it’s the nervous system protecting itself from the emotional and cognitive cost of change. When something threatens identity, certainty, or competence, the brain will reliably choose the familiar, even if it’s limiting, because predictability reads as safety. 

From a neuroscience perspective, that’s not laziness or low character, but it’s threat physiology. Under load, we default to habits that minimize uncertainty and preserve bandwidth (sleep debt, stress, decision fatigue all amplify this). Naming it as a permission issue is powerful because it shifts the intervention from “optimize your schedule” to “lower the threat, shrink the activation energy, and make the first step safe enough to start”.

For our longevity-focused readers: don’t negotiate with “20 minutes.” Start with 2–5 minutes same time, same place, zero prep—so the brain learns, this is survivable. Once the nervous system stops treating the action like danger, time magically becomes available because resistance drops. Really sharp work!

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Your Nextdoor PCP: thank you for this fantastic addition: "For our longevity-focused readers: don’t negotiate with “20 minutes.” Start with 2–5 minutes same time, same place, zero prep—so the brain learns, this is survivable. Once the nervous system stops treating the action like danger, time magically becomes available because resistance drops. Really sharp work!" I deeply appreciate your input and comments!

Jeffrey Keefer, PhD's avatar

I love this 90-second bypass. It makes the pomodoro, which I use with many of my students, seem like an impossible bar to reach. Will try the 90-second bypass today with something that I have been struggling to work on for the 25-minute pomodoro!

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Jeffrey: Can't wait to hear about your experience of the 90 second bypass - let me know how it worked for you! Cheering you on, and Happy New Year!

Jeffrey Keefer, PhD's avatar

I started my timer for 90 seconds and worked on a project for two hours that I have had daily reminders for the past 25 days yet had not been able to make any progress on. I decided I would open the file and revise my writing there for 90 seconds, and while doing that, I made significant reframing of it in my mind.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Jeffrey: Congratulations! I'm so excited for you! Thank you so much for sharing your success! Cheering you!

Rose's avatar

Just wondering, Magdalena, do you write into your future every day? Or do you do it once, and let it rest for a while? And if so, how long is a while?

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Rose: wonderful question! I personally do this exercise 3-4 times a week. One challange at the time. Some clients that I work with use it daily, some use it once a week. The key is to pick just one "thing" - hope that helps! Cheering you on, I hope you give it a try to share with me and the community!

Rose's avatar

The "version" I do daily is I write down the kind of things I want, now and in the future. When the page is full, I stop. I say things like, "I earn more money than ever before, and that's OK to do so." Or other things like "accepting my success" etc. But I haven't got to the point where I am "seeing" myself in a future date, using sensory details. Every day I try to vary the list a bit from the day before, but sometimes they are the same thing such as: "I am extraordinarily lucky."

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

I love your approach! Trying diffrent approaches are priceless! I experiment with wiring every day! Cheers to us and to experimenting!

Rose's avatar

I began this on September 21, last year. It has been tremendously helpful. Then I read your 20 minute post and I do want to try that too.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Rose: I'm thrilled that you are giving it a try and I can't wait to read about your experiences! Cheering you on, M!

Toure D. Young's avatar

This was a good reminder that growth isn’t always additive. Sometimes it’s subtractive removing what no longer earns its place so thinking can stay clear.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Toure: I love this reframe. Remove what no longer serves you! Great reminder!

Connie Baglia, RN 💚✨'s avatar

This, "Some part of me still believes my own future belongs at the bottom of a very long list." Great share!

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Connie: I wholeheartedly agree! Discovering that for oneself can lead to some major aha moments!

Nicola Vitkovich's avatar

"Some part of me still believes my own future belongs at the bottom of a very long list." I get that and I've felt that way many times.

I've been teaching transformation work for years, and I still catch myself reorganizing my spice cabinet, or suddenly finding myself on Amazon to get something in the cart while I'm thinking of it, instead of working on the thing that actually matters. The manufactured urgency feels so convincing, the trance so good at making distractions feel more imperative than my own wants.

The 90-second bypass is brilliant. I've used something similar with clients around identity work, lowering the bar until the nervous system can't justify the resistance and creating effortless movement without deliberation.

"You don't need better time management. You need to understand that this is a permission problem disguised as a time problem." This frame is everything. Because time management implies scarcity. Permission implies agency. And agency is what actually helps us wake up from the pattern.

Thank you for writing this.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Nicola: WOW! thank you from the bottom of my heart for sharing your thoughts here! I've been studying time management and transformation for years and I can't belive that it never! occurred to me to see that " time management implies scarcity. Permission implies agency." I'm working on tools for addressing internal conversations and time management was not on my list! I'm so grateful for your comment!

Nicola Vitkovich's avatar

Dear Magdalena: Your article inspired those thoughts, thank YOU. Addressing those internal conversations that act as roadblocks is some of the most important work we can do. Here's to doing the work 🙌

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Nicola: I'm so glad to hear that! and so happy to have deep and thoughtful conversations that lead to transforming lives! Cheers to the work!

Nicola Vitkovich's avatar

The best kind of conversations 💛

Linda's avatar

Also , again I love your reframe, simplification , and self care and kindness. I would also suggest that there could be a niggle , an unresolved feeling that needs some inner listening that could open up the space or alternatively let you know that you don’t need to write right now. Not to avoid or because you are less than. The shades can be so many colours of grey 😉. Thank you for your posts , I love your energy and ideas.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Linda: Thank you for this perspective! I love your idea that there can be so many shades of grey (lol)! Cheering you on!

One Brilliant Arc (OBA)'s avatar

Hard truths here, yet powerful insights once we shift our focus to using them to help us overcome the subconscious patterns and write a different story ending for ourselves! Wonderful as always, Magdalena!

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear OBA: thank you! yes writing a diffrent story endings for ourselves is such a gift! A gift that we can give to ourselves as well as to others! Happy New Year!

One Brilliant Arc (OBA)'s avatar

Happy new year to you! ✨

Dr Mehmet Yildiz's avatar

You addressed a very common problem. I sometimes felt the same, supporting others' agendas and neglecting my priority work. You articulated the situation and explained the mechanisms clearly. Thank you Magdalena for addressign this critical pyschological and business issue.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Dr. Mehmet: for me is so fascinating to see how many times we "supporting others' agendas and neglecting our priority work" so being able to notice it, recognize it and then give ourselves permission is such a gift! I'm so glad that it resonated with you!

Kathleen Kroner's avatar

Dear Magdalena, this post truly resonates with me. Thank you.

To see it so clearly, and that I am not alone is eye-opening. Also good to hear that you write that exercise 3-4 times per week. I will write it again tonight, I do have 20 minutes for myself.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Kathleen: I'm so glad that it resonated with you and yes! you are not alone! You are in a good company (lol)! cheering you on and can't wait to read about your experiences!

Kathleen Kroner's avatar

I listened to the workshop we had on Dec13th, and wrote for 20 min again last night. I am going to try to incorporate this as a new habit 2-3X per week.

I'm not sure I did it correctly, and this is where repeating on a regular basis can be a key to successfully doing it.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Kathleen: I'm so happy that you went back, you took action, you've tried it and that you are going to continue incorporating it as a new habit. I love it! Cheering you on and can't wait to read/hear about your experiences!

Jacqueline Fisch's avatar

Oh, that "I don't have time" excuse.

You're spot on about what it's really saying.

When I tell myself that lie, I know it's a clue to look deeper.

PS - your mornings rearranging bananas and apples, and wiping specs of dirt here and there are totally like mine 😂

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Jacqueline: WOW we are in such great company (lol) aka: re-arranging and cleaning! And we've got this! Cheering us on! M

Zoe Matthews's avatar

I love the idea that it’s about giving yourself permission rather than reacting to the immediate anxiety response ‘I don’t have time.’ I’ve heard this statement so much, so now you’ve given me a way to frame my questions for clients so thank you Magdalena!

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Zoe: I'm thrilled that you are able to have a framing question - Yyeyeyey! Super happy! Cheering you on! And Happy New Year!

Zoe Matthews's avatar

Thank you so much and happy new year to you also Magdalena!

Karina's avatar

It's about uncertainty and comfort. Our brains love comfort because it's familar and it knows what will happen nad how to react: no threat for our lives.

It's a great hack, Magdalena, with the 90 seconds because you overruled the life-threatening uncertainty because 90 seconds is not enough time for something life-threatening.

The uncertainty of "what will happen in 20 minutes?", "I don't want to feel uncomfortable for 20 minutes" or "I don't know if I have the skills and creativity to write 20 minutes" (fear of failure) disappears.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Karina: I love your example - totally brilliant : "I don't want to feel uncomfortable for 20 minutes" vs I will dip my toe and do 90 seconds! Thank you so much for this - it definitely give a great visual!

Catherine's avatar

Thank you for sharing - I have been trying to "start" since 9.30 and it's 10:53! I've been noticing that the way I choose to spend my unstructured time mirrors which parts of my life I prioritise and which parts get sidelined. Thinking of it as a permission problem hits the nail on the head for me, thank you.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Catherine: I'm so happy it resonated with you! And yes - just noticing first and then giving ourselves permission makes all the difference in the world! Cheering you on, and keep looking where where you can give yourself even more permission!

Althea | Fairytales Lie's avatar

Such a good read. Thank you for articulating your point so clearly.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Althea: I'm so happy it resonated with you! and I do hope you will give yourself permission to do the 20 minutes of what you love today!

Tracey's avatar

Thank you. This is something that resonates with me so strongly. I literally stopped dead part way through and realised that I am at the bottom of a very ong list. If I'm on it at all. I will make sure that I start giving myself permission.

Magdalena Ponurska's avatar

Dear Tracy: that's such a fantastic 'aha' moment! I do hope you will start giving yourself permission to be at the top of the list and make time for things you love!