This framing is so clinically true, and honestly liberating! “I don’t have time” often isn’t a calendar problem; it’s the nervous system protecting itself from the emotional and cognitive cost of change. When something threatens identity, certainty, or competence, the brain will reliably choose the familiar, even if it’s limiting, because predictability reads as safety. 
From a neuroscience perspective, that’s not laziness or low character, but it’s threat physiology. Under load, we default to habits that minimize uncertainty and preserve bandwidth (sleep debt, stress, decision fatigue all amplify this). Naming it as a permission issue is powerful because it shifts the intervention from “optimize your schedule” to “lower the threat, shrink the activation energy, and make the first step safe enough to start”.
For our longevity-focused readers: don’t negotiate with “20 minutes.” Start with 2–5 minutes same time, same place, zero prep—so the brain learns, this is survivable. Once the nervous system stops treating the action like danger, time magically becomes available because resistance drops. Really sharp work!
Dear Your Nextdoor PCP: thank you for this fantastic addition: "For our longevity-focused readers: don’t negotiate with “20 minutes.” Start with 2–5 minutes same time, same place, zero prep—so the brain learns, this is survivable. Once the nervous system stops treating the action like danger, time magically becomes available because resistance drops. Really sharp work!" I deeply appreciate your input and comments!
I love this 90-second bypass. It makes the pomodoro, which I use with many of my students, seem like an impossible bar to reach. Will try the 90-second bypass today with something that I have been struggling to work on for the 25-minute pomodoro!
Dear Jeffrey: Can't wait to hear about your experience of the 90 second bypass - let me know how it worked for you! Cheering you on, and Happy New Year!
Dear Rose: wonderful question! I personally do this exercise 3-4 times a week. One challange at the time. Some clients that I work with use it daily, some use it once a week. The key is to pick just one "thing" - hope that helps! Cheering you on, I hope you give it a try to share with me and the community!
The "version" I do daily is I write down the kind of things I want, now and in the future. When the page is full, I stop. I say things like, "I earn more money than ever before, and that's OK to do so." Or other things like "accepting my success" etc. But I haven't got to the point where I am "seeing" myself in a future date, using sensory details. Every day I try to vary the list a bit from the day before, but sometimes they are the same thing such as: "I am extraordinarily lucky."
Hard truths here, yet powerful insights once we shift our focus to using them to help us overcome the subconscious patterns and write a different story ending for ourselves! Wonderful as always, Magdalena!
Dear OBA: thank you! yes writing a diffrent story endings for ourselves is such a gift! A gift that we can give to ourselves as well as to others! Happy New Year!
You addressed a very common problem. I sometimes felt the same, supporting others' agendas and neglecting my priority work. You articulated the situation and explained the mechanisms clearly. Thank you Magdalena for addressign this critical pyschological and business issue.
Dear Dr. Mehmet: for me is so fascinating to see how many times we "supporting others' agendas and neglecting our priority work" so being able to notice it, recognize it and then give ourselves permission is such a gift! I'm so glad that it resonated with you!
Dear Magdalena, this post truly resonates with me. Thank you.
To see it so clearly, and that I am not alone is eye-opening. Also good to hear that you write that exercise 3-4 times per week. I will write it again tonight, I do have 20 minutes for myself.
Dear Kathleen: I'm so glad that it resonated with you and yes! you are not alone! You are in a good company (lol)! cheering you on and can't wait to read about your experiences!
I listened to the workshop we had on Dec13th, and wrote for 20 min again last night. I am going to try to incorporate this as a new habit 2-3X per week.
I'm not sure I did it correctly, and this is where repeating on a regular basis can be a key to successfully doing it.
Dear Kathleen: I'm so happy that you went back, you took action, you've tried it and that you are going to continue incorporating it as a new habit. I love it! Cheering you on and can't wait to read/hear about your experiences!
I love the idea that it’s about giving yourself permission rather than reacting to the immediate anxiety response ‘I don’t have time.’ I’ve heard this statement so much, so now you’ve given me a way to frame my questions for clients so thank you Magdalena!
It's about uncertainty and comfort. Our brains love comfort because it's familar and it knows what will happen nad how to react: no threat for our lives.
It's a great hack, Magdalena, with the 90 seconds because you overruled the life-threatening uncertainty because 90 seconds is not enough time for something life-threatening.
The uncertainty of "what will happen in 20 minutes?", "I don't want to feel uncomfortable for 20 minutes" or "I don't know if I have the skills and creativity to write 20 minutes" (fear of failure) disappears.
Dear Karina: I love your example - totally brilliant : "I don't want to feel uncomfortable for 20 minutes" vs I will dip my toe and do 90 seconds! Thank you so much for this - it definitely give a great visual!
Thank you for sharing - I have been trying to "start" since 9.30 and it's 10:53! I've been noticing that the way I choose to spend my unstructured time mirrors which parts of my life I prioritise and which parts get sidelined. Thinking of it as a permission problem hits the nail on the head for me, thank you.
Dear Catherine: I'm so happy it resonated with you! And yes - just noticing first and then giving ourselves permission makes all the difference in the world! Cheering you on, and keep looking where where you can give yourself even more permission!
Thank you. This is something that resonates with me so strongly. I literally stopped dead part way through and realised that I am at the bottom of a very ong list. If I'm on it at all. I will make sure that I start giving myself permission.
Dear Tracy: that's such a fantastic 'aha' moment! I do hope you will start giving yourself permission to be at the top of the list and make time for things you love!
Also , again I love your reframe, simplification , and self care and kindness. I would also suggest that there could be a niggle , an unresolved feeling that needs some inner listening that could open up the space or alternatively let you know that you don’t need to write right now. Not to avoid or because you are less than. The shades can be so many colours of grey 😉. Thank you for your posts , I love your energy and ideas.
This framing is so clinically true, and honestly liberating! “I don’t have time” often isn’t a calendar problem; it’s the nervous system protecting itself from the emotional and cognitive cost of change. When something threatens identity, certainty, or competence, the brain will reliably choose the familiar, even if it’s limiting, because predictability reads as safety. 
From a neuroscience perspective, that’s not laziness or low character, but it’s threat physiology. Under load, we default to habits that minimize uncertainty and preserve bandwidth (sleep debt, stress, decision fatigue all amplify this). Naming it as a permission issue is powerful because it shifts the intervention from “optimize your schedule” to “lower the threat, shrink the activation energy, and make the first step safe enough to start”.
For our longevity-focused readers: don’t negotiate with “20 minutes.” Start with 2–5 minutes same time, same place, zero prep—so the brain learns, this is survivable. Once the nervous system stops treating the action like danger, time magically becomes available because resistance drops. Really sharp work!
Dear Your Nextdoor PCP: thank you for this fantastic addition: "For our longevity-focused readers: don’t negotiate with “20 minutes.” Start with 2–5 minutes same time, same place, zero prep—so the brain learns, this is survivable. Once the nervous system stops treating the action like danger, time magically becomes available because resistance drops. Really sharp work!" I deeply appreciate your input and comments!
I love this 90-second bypass. It makes the pomodoro, which I use with many of my students, seem like an impossible bar to reach. Will try the 90-second bypass today with something that I have been struggling to work on for the 25-minute pomodoro!
Dear Jeffrey: Can't wait to hear about your experience of the 90 second bypass - let me know how it worked for you! Cheering you on, and Happy New Year!
Just wondering, Magdalena, do you write into your future every day? Or do you do it once, and let it rest for a while? And if so, how long is a while?
Dear Rose: wonderful question! I personally do this exercise 3-4 times a week. One challange at the time. Some clients that I work with use it daily, some use it once a week. The key is to pick just one "thing" - hope that helps! Cheering you on, I hope you give it a try to share with me and the community!
The "version" I do daily is I write down the kind of things I want, now and in the future. When the page is full, I stop. I say things like, "I earn more money than ever before, and that's OK to do so." Or other things like "accepting my success" etc. But I haven't got to the point where I am "seeing" myself in a future date, using sensory details. Every day I try to vary the list a bit from the day before, but sometimes they are the same thing such as: "I am extraordinarily lucky."
I love your approach! Trying diffrent approaches are priceless! I experiment with wiring every day! Cheers to us and to experimenting!
I began this on September 21, last year. It has been tremendously helpful. Then I read your 20 minute post and I do want to try that too.
Dear Rose: I'm thrilled that you are giving it a try and I can't wait to read about your experiences! Cheering you on, M!
Hard truths here, yet powerful insights once we shift our focus to using them to help us overcome the subconscious patterns and write a different story ending for ourselves! Wonderful as always, Magdalena!
Dear OBA: thank you! yes writing a diffrent story endings for ourselves is such a gift! A gift that we can give to ourselves as well as to others! Happy New Year!
You addressed a very common problem. I sometimes felt the same, supporting others' agendas and neglecting my priority work. You articulated the situation and explained the mechanisms clearly. Thank you Magdalena for addressign this critical pyschological and business issue.
Dear Dr. Mehmet: for me is so fascinating to see how many times we "supporting others' agendas and neglecting our priority work" so being able to notice it, recognize it and then give ourselves permission is such a gift! I'm so glad that it resonated with you!
Dear Magdalena, this post truly resonates with me. Thank you.
To see it so clearly, and that I am not alone is eye-opening. Also good to hear that you write that exercise 3-4 times per week. I will write it again tonight, I do have 20 minutes for myself.
Dear Kathleen: I'm so glad that it resonated with you and yes! you are not alone! You are in a good company (lol)! cheering you on and can't wait to read about your experiences!
I listened to the workshop we had on Dec13th, and wrote for 20 min again last night. I am going to try to incorporate this as a new habit 2-3X per week.
I'm not sure I did it correctly, and this is where repeating on a regular basis can be a key to successfully doing it.
Dear Kathleen: I'm so happy that you went back, you took action, you've tried it and that you are going to continue incorporating it as a new habit. I love it! Cheering you on and can't wait to read/hear about your experiences!
Oh, that "I don't have time" excuse.
You're spot on about what it's really saying.
When I tell myself that lie, I know it's a clue to look deeper.
PS - your mornings rearranging bananas and apples, and wiping specs of dirt here and there are totally like mine 😂
Dear Jacqueline: WOW we are in such great company (lol) aka: re-arranging and cleaning! And we've got this! Cheering us on! M
I love the idea that it’s about giving yourself permission rather than reacting to the immediate anxiety response ‘I don’t have time.’ I’ve heard this statement so much, so now you’ve given me a way to frame my questions for clients so thank you Magdalena!
Dear Zoe: I'm thrilled that you are able to have a framing question - Yyeyeyey! Super happy! Cheering you on! And Happy New Year!
Thank you so much and happy new year to you also Magdalena!
It's about uncertainty and comfort. Our brains love comfort because it's familar and it knows what will happen nad how to react: no threat for our lives.
It's a great hack, Magdalena, with the 90 seconds because you overruled the life-threatening uncertainty because 90 seconds is not enough time for something life-threatening.
The uncertainty of "what will happen in 20 minutes?", "I don't want to feel uncomfortable for 20 minutes" or "I don't know if I have the skills and creativity to write 20 minutes" (fear of failure) disappears.
Dear Karina: I love your example - totally brilliant : "I don't want to feel uncomfortable for 20 minutes" vs I will dip my toe and do 90 seconds! Thank you so much for this - it definitely give a great visual!
Thank you for sharing - I have been trying to "start" since 9.30 and it's 10:53! I've been noticing that the way I choose to spend my unstructured time mirrors which parts of my life I prioritise and which parts get sidelined. Thinking of it as a permission problem hits the nail on the head for me, thank you.
Dear Catherine: I'm so happy it resonated with you! And yes - just noticing first and then giving ourselves permission makes all the difference in the world! Cheering you on, and keep looking where where you can give yourself even more permission!
Such a good read. Thank you for articulating your point so clearly.
Dear Althea: I'm so happy it resonated with you! and I do hope you will give yourself permission to do the 20 minutes of what you love today!
Thank you. This is something that resonates with me so strongly. I literally stopped dead part way through and realised that I am at the bottom of a very ong list. If I'm on it at all. I will make sure that I start giving myself permission.
Dear Tracy: that's such a fantastic 'aha' moment! I do hope you will start giving yourself permission to be at the top of the list and make time for things you love!
Also , again I love your reframe, simplification , and self care and kindness. I would also suggest that there could be a niggle , an unresolved feeling that needs some inner listening that could open up the space or alternatively let you know that you don’t need to write right now. Not to avoid or because you are less than. The shades can be so many colours of grey 😉. Thank you for your posts , I love your energy and ideas.