This took me back to almost 12 years ago when my first baby was born. So painful and so raw. Only I didnt last 18 months of listening to books and websites. I caved in after just over a week of no sleep and brought my baby into bed with me. Here she could feed and sleep peacefully just like human babies have done for thousands of years and still do in other non-Western countries. Western societies make it so difficult on mothers with their charts and schedules, none of which babies read or follow. Even if you think your baby is the odd one out, it is not true. There are others out there, their mothers are just too exhausted, scared or ashamed to admit that their baby is different and doesnt sleep through the night, or crawls or sit ups or eats solid food, or whatever else these books and web sites make us believe babies should do by certain age.
Dear Katherine: thank you so much for this share from your heart! I did the same thing - and still was up (lol) - and I love what you said around the shame of admitting that our baby is diffrent - that is one of the biggest things to acknowledge and admit - to self and others and that there is nothing wrong with being diffrent!
This is such a beautiful account--painful but beautiful--and it echoes my own similar story. I also had a baby who didn't sleep the number of hours that the books (or the moms group) said she should. Who didn't eat the way the books (or the moms groups) said she should. And there I was night after night, staring at a screen, looking for a solution. It was a special kind of torture that you described so very well.
And then there was the day that I threw my hands in the air, stopped looking for answers and started realizing that there's no right way. I don't think it was my mom who gave me the dose of wisdom. Maybe it was a friend who pointed out that I was the mother given to this child (and she was the child given to me) and together we would figure it out. What a sweet release that was.
Dearest Merritt: thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your own story! During times like that, I always though: I wish I knew I wasn't alone and I was't the only "weird" one :-) hence, I feel so lucky to share this type of stories with the community, knowing that there is that one person out there - that needs to hear something along these lines...
Dear Odile: I'm so glad that it resonated with you! And yes, looking back we can see the milestone that our kids hit at their own pace and have the wisdom of the "right timelines" for them. I can't be wonder - do our writing, creating, Substack have the same "right timeline" that when we look back 3, 4, 5 years from now - will have us go - ahhh...that was the right timeline...
This took me back to almost 12 years ago when my first baby was born. So painful and so raw. Only I didnt last 18 months of listening to books and websites. I caved in after just over a week of no sleep and brought my baby into bed with me. Here she could feed and sleep peacefully just like human babies have done for thousands of years and still do in other non-Western countries. Western societies make it so difficult on mothers with their charts and schedules, none of which babies read or follow. Even if you think your baby is the odd one out, it is not true. There are others out there, their mothers are just too exhausted, scared or ashamed to admit that their baby is different and doesnt sleep through the night, or crawls or sit ups or eats solid food, or whatever else these books and web sites make us believe babies should do by certain age.
Dear Katherine: thank you so much for this share from your heart! I did the same thing - and still was up (lol) - and I love what you said around the shame of admitting that our baby is diffrent - that is one of the biggest things to acknowledge and admit - to self and others and that there is nothing wrong with being diffrent!
This is such a beautiful account--painful but beautiful--and it echoes my own similar story. I also had a baby who didn't sleep the number of hours that the books (or the moms group) said she should. Who didn't eat the way the books (or the moms groups) said she should. And there I was night after night, staring at a screen, looking for a solution. It was a special kind of torture that you described so very well.
And then there was the day that I threw my hands in the air, stopped looking for answers and started realizing that there's no right way. I don't think it was my mom who gave me the dose of wisdom. Maybe it was a friend who pointed out that I was the mother given to this child (and she was the child given to me) and together we would figure it out. What a sweet release that was.
Thank you for sharing your story.
Dearest Merritt: thank you so much for your kind words and for sharing your own story! During times like that, I always though: I wish I knew I wasn't alone and I was't the only "weird" one :-) hence, I feel so lucky to share this type of stories with the community, knowing that there is that one person out there - that needs to hear something along these lines...
Sharing our hard stories is so important. Thank you.
Thank you so much for your kind and supportive words!
This was riveting. My kids are older now but I remember those moments when they were babies and were just hitting milestones at their own pace.
Thank you for sharing.
Dear Odile: I'm so glad that it resonated with you! And yes, looking back we can see the milestone that our kids hit at their own pace and have the wisdom of the "right timelines" for them. I can't be wonder - do our writing, creating, Substack have the same "right timeline" that when we look back 3, 4, 5 years from now - will have us go - ahhh...that was the right timeline...
I only wish my mother was still here to write to and yes, parenting is very, very hard. 😭
She told me that she loved me, but I just couldn’t listen
Dear Betina: thank you so much for sharing from your heart!
That was great!
Beautiful 🥹
Dear Tagara: thank you for your kind and supportive words!