Such valuable information for any engagement with people we find difficult. Yesterday I had an interaction with a family member I've avoided for a very long time. I didn't have your playbook to use but managed it in my own way with awareness and and observing my own ego and what it wanted to do. :) but higher awareness decided not to do.
I still worried ahead of time and felt protective of myself in their presence. It was emotionally and mentally draining. It worked out better than in the past as I made no comments that I would later regret :). But I will remember this process for next time!
I always learn a lot about myself in these instances. There is an old saying that Buddhist teachers use: "if you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your family." Life is such an interesting journey if we allow it to be!
Dear Carole: Love your example! So powerful! and I have to admit I've not hear about this saying but really like it! I do hope you give it a try, share your experiences here and that you will have a amazing holiday season. Cheering you on, M.
This is going to change so many people's Thanksgiving celebrations for the better this year 🙏
Over 10 years ago, I did something similar without realizing I was training my RAS. I was about to give a talk to a group inside a hotel conference room. Instead of pacing or checking my talking points, I grabbed my notebook and wrote, "I just gave the most amazing talk to a group of women. I saw their smiling faces. They were warm and receptive, and so many of them connected with the message I shared."
Wishing you and your family a peaceful Thanksgiving! Even the ones who make weird career comments and humble brag ;)
Dear Fernando: I do recommend doing it with a pen and paper. There is a direct connection happening b/w the act of writing and re-wiring your brain that if you dictate you miss. Later on you can take a phot and make it into digital document or if you are an auditory learner you can read out loud. Cheering you on, M!
Dear Debi; Your comment made me laugh - yes! I do know! - lol- I hope you try it out, and share your experience here. Cheering you on and Happy Holidays! M
I truly felt free of the drama that usually upsets me for days when we host my partner's family.
I was relaxed and didn't brace as I usually do. There was one incident that instead of feeling hurt by the remark, there was only a twinge of hurt, followed by a reframe of self-validation.
I didn't defend my choices or anything else, even when my partner tried to inject drama and upset me like he tends to do when his family is around.
I caught myself slipping into old patterns only once in the entire 8-hour time frame. The day ended and I didn't feel emotionally drained. This is progress!!
Dear Debi: Thank you for this wonderful update! This is amazing progress! I'm so proud and happy for you! You actually caught yourself - which is HUGE! and at the end of the gathering you did not feel emotionally drained! Amazing! Cheering you on! M
Dear Marcia: I'm so glad it resonated with you and I hope you try it out and share the results with me and community! Cheering you on! Happy Holidays, M
Thank you for this great technique!
Dear Cathy: I'm so glad that you enjoy it. I do hope you try it out and share your experiences! Cheering you on, M!
Such valuable information for any engagement with people we find difficult. Yesterday I had an interaction with a family member I've avoided for a very long time. I didn't have your playbook to use but managed it in my own way with awareness and and observing my own ego and what it wanted to do. :) but higher awareness decided not to do.
I still worried ahead of time and felt protective of myself in their presence. It was emotionally and mentally draining. It worked out better than in the past as I made no comments that I would later regret :). But I will remember this process for next time!
I always learn a lot about myself in these instances. There is an old saying that Buddhist teachers use: "if you think you're enlightened go spend a week with your family." Life is such an interesting journey if we allow it to be!
Dear Carole: Love your example! So powerful! and I have to admit I've not hear about this saying but really like it! I do hope you give it a try, share your experiences here and that you will have a amazing holiday season. Cheering you on, M.
This is going to change so many people's Thanksgiving celebrations for the better this year 🙏
Over 10 years ago, I did something similar without realizing I was training my RAS. I was about to give a talk to a group inside a hotel conference room. Instead of pacing or checking my talking points, I grabbed my notebook and wrote, "I just gave the most amazing talk to a group of women. I saw their smiling faces. They were warm and receptive, and so many of them connected with the message I shared."
Wishing you and your family a peaceful Thanksgiving! Even the ones who make weird career comments and humble brag ;)
Dear Jacqueline: I'm so happy to read this! Love this example! Cheering you on and have a wonderful Thanksgiving!
So so good Magdalena. I love neuroscience and your 20 min exercise is the best practice I’ve come across 💛. Thank you for sharing your discovery.
Dear Beverly: I'm so glad you've enjoyed it. And yeyy to love of neuroscience! Hope you will give it a try and share results. Cheering you on! M
Dear Magdalena. In your practice, would you say it works of I dictate it in audio instead of writing it by hand? I am curious. Thanks.
Dear Fernando: I do recommend doing it with a pen and paper. There is a direct connection happening b/w the act of writing and re-wiring your brain that if you dictate you miss. Later on you can take a phot and make it into digital document or if you are an auditory learner you can read out loud. Cheering you on, M!
Wow, wish I had this knowledge decades ago. Suffered similar family savagery at every occasion, for years…until I walked away from ALL of them.
Dear NX17: thank you for reading. I do hope you give it a try for this or some other scenarios and share your experiences here. Cheering you on, M!
Magdalena,
You have no idea how much I needed this today! Well, actually, you probably do know, lol.
Anyway, thank you! I did this exercise and already feel better about tomorrow's gathering.
Dear Debi; Your comment made me laugh - yes! I do know! - lol- I hope you try it out, and share your experience here. Cheering you on and Happy Holidays! M
Update -
I truly felt free of the drama that usually upsets me for days when we host my partner's family.
I was relaxed and didn't brace as I usually do. There was one incident that instead of feeling hurt by the remark, there was only a twinge of hurt, followed by a reframe of self-validation.
I didn't defend my choices or anything else, even when my partner tried to inject drama and upset me like he tends to do when his family is around.
I caught myself slipping into old patterns only once in the entire 8-hour time frame. The day ended and I didn't feel emotionally drained. This is progress!!
Thanks again, Magdalena, for this exercise!
Dear Debi: Thank you for this wonderful update! This is amazing progress! I'm so proud and happy for you! You actually caught yourself - which is HUGE! and at the end of the gathering you did not feel emotionally drained! Amazing! Cheering you on! M
Good information for anyone anxious about holiday gatherings.
Dear Marcia: I'm so glad it resonated with you and I hope you try it out and share the results with me and community! Cheering you on! Happy Holidays, M