I loved reading this, Magdalena. It reminded me of my own passion to write from the heart, without any concern about the outcome. Just for the sake of writing my heart out. It’s been difficult to find my way back there but I’m inspired by your article. Let’s see what happens✨
Dear Jana: thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for making me day! there is noting more heart melting than reading that my work inspire you do find way back to writing! just know that I'm cheering you on and that I am sure that your writing straight from the heart will resonate with many!
I said, “the act of creative writing is my own form of self-advocacy. For the longest time, I separated this aspect of myself when I became an Attorney. For years, I didn’t write any fiction. My art practice was non-existent. And my music fell by the wayside. I felt like a large part of me was lost, as I had shattered, and I even had people who tried to dissuade me from creative writing and publishing books. For a long time, I did do that. I followed their advice, and I focused on purely practicing Law, but ultimately, I felt my true, Authentic Self fracture because I was unwilling to bend the so-called “rules” and allow myself to honor every aspect of who I am. I was suppressing who I truly was by denying and hiding the Creative inside of me.
Until I finally realized, “I need to advocate for myself.” That’s why the lawyer in me shows up a lot when I’m writing fiction. She helps me to see that I’m choosing myself when I write these words, when I create these stories, when I publish these books, when I make art and music, when I share them with the world.
All of it’s been a labor of love, sweat, & tears, not only because of the creative work itself, but what it means to me…. personally…. as proof that I am championing my Creative Self and finally allowing her to be seen. And it’s a relief…. to heal the disconnection I used to feel inside. I’m nowhere close to the finish line, but I’m so much happier and full of passion and purpose now that I’m on the right path: Walking my own Attorney-to-Creative Journey, as I like to call it.
And it’s worth it. The pain in my past serves a purpose. Because now I’m devoted to not only pursuing my own creative work and honoring my true Authentic Self, but I’m also passionate about encouraging others to explore their own creativity & honor their true Authentic Self, as well.”
Dear Marisa: This stopped me. The line about your true self fracturing because you were unwilling to bend the rules and honor every part of who you are, that is one of the most honest things I have read in a long time.
What strikes me most is that the lawyer did not disappear when you came back to your creative self. She became the advocate. That is not a contradiction to resolve, that is a whole person arriving. You did not have to choose between them. You just had to stop letting other people's fear of your fullness make the choice for you.
The pain serving a purpose. Yes. A thousand times yes.
I am going to read your interview this evening. Thank you for leaving this here and for the generous way you showed up in this space. This community is better for having you in it.
Dear Tom: thanks for sharing your aha moment. And consider that you've just shared your first story here....sometimes all it takes is just one sentence...we don't have to move to Bali, spend hours writing, get a new office etc etc...one sentence is a perfect start!
Dear MAGDALENA, "It is not a productivity problem. It is a body problem." That's the sentence I needed someone to say out loud.
I've spent years trying to write my way through things and not understanding why some days the words just wouldn't come, no matter how much I wanted them to. It wasn't discipline. It wasn't commitment. It was my nervous system still deciding whether the page was safe.
The detail about slipping into Polish when something feels too tender — I understand that instinct. There are things I can only approach sideways, in a different register, like the language of the seventeen-year-old needs to be honored before the adult can speak.
Dear Shahrazad: I'm so glad that it resonated with you! You stated it perfectly: "It was my nervous system still deciding whether the page was safe" - when we feel safe on the page things flow out effortlessly and easily. Hence, in moments when there is a block, it's worth to check in with oneself and ask: do I feel safe? Cheering you on, in your writing! M
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve been writing in journals since 6th grade and was fortunate enough to feel that they were safe even though I grew up in a house full of people. I always found writing along with my faith to be a very centering practice that has helped me navigate many of life’s challenges. The hard part for me is writing my posts on Substack. They take me a long time and there are several posts that have gone unpublished. I’m honest but it’s hard know how much personal stuff to share on this platform. Thanks for all your info and insights. (Hey, is it biking season yet? ☀️)
Dear Carol: Thank you so much for your open, honest share! Sharing writing publicly can be challenging, confronting, difficult, and yet on the other side of these challenges lives inspiration, connection and community. It takes time and lots of self compassion! So know that I'm cheering you on! and yes biking season is starting - and photos are coming up soon! Love M!
I loved reading this, Magdalena. It reminded me of my own passion to write from the heart, without any concern about the outcome. Just for the sake of writing my heart out. It’s been difficult to find my way back there but I’m inspired by your article. Let’s see what happens✨
Dear Jana: thank you so much for your kind words and thank you for making me day! there is noting more heart melting than reading that my work inspire you do find way back to writing! just know that I'm cheering you on and that I am sure that your writing straight from the heart will resonate with many!
Wow, Magdalena. I really resonated with this & your beautiful story. I also felt this amazing feeling like “oh I wish I’d had Doty’s experience, too!”
And it feels like synchronicity. Because I just gave my very 1st interview on Substack and I talked about my similar experience here https://unfilteredpagess.substack.com/p/in-a-coversation-with-marisa-victus?r=39jkyq&utm_medium=ios
I said, “the act of creative writing is my own form of self-advocacy. For the longest time, I separated this aspect of myself when I became an Attorney. For years, I didn’t write any fiction. My art practice was non-existent. And my music fell by the wayside. I felt like a large part of me was lost, as I had shattered, and I even had people who tried to dissuade me from creative writing and publishing books. For a long time, I did do that. I followed their advice, and I focused on purely practicing Law, but ultimately, I felt my true, Authentic Self fracture because I was unwilling to bend the so-called “rules” and allow myself to honor every aspect of who I am. I was suppressing who I truly was by denying and hiding the Creative inside of me.
Until I finally realized, “I need to advocate for myself.” That’s why the lawyer in me shows up a lot when I’m writing fiction. She helps me to see that I’m choosing myself when I write these words, when I create these stories, when I publish these books, when I make art and music, when I share them with the world.
All of it’s been a labor of love, sweat, & tears, not only because of the creative work itself, but what it means to me…. personally…. as proof that I am championing my Creative Self and finally allowing her to be seen. And it’s a relief…. to heal the disconnection I used to feel inside. I’m nowhere close to the finish line, but I’m so much happier and full of passion and purpose now that I’m on the right path: Walking my own Attorney-to-Creative Journey, as I like to call it.
And it’s worth it. The pain in my past serves a purpose. Because now I’m devoted to not only pursuing my own creative work and honoring my true Authentic Self, but I’m also passionate about encouraging others to explore their own creativity & honor their true Authentic Self, as well.”
Dear Marisa: This stopped me. The line about your true self fracturing because you were unwilling to bend the rules and honor every part of who you are, that is one of the most honest things I have read in a long time.
What strikes me most is that the lawyer did not disappear when you came back to your creative self. She became the advocate. That is not a contradiction to resolve, that is a whole person arriving. You did not have to choose between them. You just had to stop letting other people's fear of your fullness make the choice for you.
The pain serving a purpose. Yes. A thousand times yes.
I am going to read your interview this evening. Thank you for leaving this here and for the generous way you showed up in this space. This community is better for having you in it.
I got that I have daily stories that never get written. My excuse is always, I don't have the time.
Dear Tom: thanks for sharing your aha moment. And consider that you've just shared your first story here....sometimes all it takes is just one sentence...we don't have to move to Bali, spend hours writing, get a new office etc etc...one sentence is a perfect start!
Manifesting tools are simple but powerful
Dear Peder: wholeheartedly agree with you!
Dear MAGDALENA, "It is not a productivity problem. It is a body problem." That's the sentence I needed someone to say out loud.
I've spent years trying to write my way through things and not understanding why some days the words just wouldn't come, no matter how much I wanted them to. It wasn't discipline. It wasn't commitment. It was my nervous system still deciding whether the page was safe.
The detail about slipping into Polish when something feels too tender — I understand that instinct. There are things I can only approach sideways, in a different register, like the language of the seventeen-year-old needs to be honored before the adult can speak.
Thank you for writing this one.
Dear Shahrazad: I'm so glad that it resonated with you! You stated it perfectly: "It was my nervous system still deciding whether the page was safe" - when we feel safe on the page things flow out effortlessly and easily. Hence, in moments when there is a block, it's worth to check in with oneself and ask: do I feel safe? Cheering you on, in your writing! M
Thanks for sharing this! I’ve been writing in journals since 6th grade and was fortunate enough to feel that they were safe even though I grew up in a house full of people. I always found writing along with my faith to be a very centering practice that has helped me navigate many of life’s challenges. The hard part for me is writing my posts on Substack. They take me a long time and there are several posts that have gone unpublished. I’m honest but it’s hard know how much personal stuff to share on this platform. Thanks for all your info and insights. (Hey, is it biking season yet? ☀️)
Dear Carol: Thank you so much for your open, honest share! Sharing writing publicly can be challenging, confronting, difficult, and yet on the other side of these challenges lives inspiration, connection and community. It takes time and lots of self compassion! So know that I'm cheering you on! and yes biking season is starting - and photos are coming up soon! Love M!