“The silence had gone on so long she had quietly decided that whatever she once had was gone, and she was making her peace with a smaller version of her own life.”
This really touched a raw nerve. It made me wonder how many women had ditched, dreams, hopes and ideas that could have been life giving, life changing and so beneficial to humanity, just because someone made a careless and inconsiderate remark.
I’m so glad that you started writing again and built the muscles for it all over again . Today I got to read your take on neuroplasticity because you dared to write again. I love the way that you explained it. Thank you for sharing parts of your story with us. 🧡🙏🏽
Dear Jacqui: awww! thank you for your kind and generous words! I'm so happy that it resonated with you! And I'm happy and honored to share my story! and I do wonder the same thing around how others ditched their dreams, hopes and ideas b/c something happen...
You are welcome Magdalena, you deserve the thanks too because your article reminded me of what I call ‘shrinkage’.
You shrunk because of a careless remark, but you were blessed to embark on your own expansion and now you’re here serving up word feasts.
Can you imagine the billions of people who are meant to be living boldly and loving deeply but are shrinking in various ways because of societal conditioning, a careless remark or because of some hurt they experienced?
Like you, I know the cost I paid due to shrinking that is why it resonates so deeply. Thank you 🙏🏽 🧡.
When that story started, I thought it was someone else's. But in the end, when I read that it was yours, I couldn't describe that moment, my happiness. I loved reading it, or should I say I enjoyed it thoroughly. You are indeed a great writer, Magdalena ♥️
Dear Thourghts and inbetweens: You've made my day! Thank you so much for you kind and supportive words! I'm so happy that it resonated with you! Cheering you on, in your writing journey!
Lights, bells, jaw dropping , eyes dilating, rapid breathing; - like discovering a precious gem, what you've written has invaded my Life! Im truly stunned and so grateful. This has given me hope again . 🙏🏼
Even my thinking without picking up a pen is suddenly alive and its definitely the timing as well.
My name is Giovazkie and I'm a creative soul that is reconnecting to my creative self again. I just did the 20min exercise as an experiment. I'm also reading The Artist Way currently and committing to writing everyday no matter the mood! jaja can't wait. Also experimenting with waking up super early and meditating. Also interested in seeing what happens. Going to apply nueroplasticity to it. Happy learning
“Your brain is already scripting your life. The question is who is holding the pen.” What a wonderful metaphor. So descriptive! I feel like I just got a virtual kick of motivation.
Dear brain.unpacked: I'm so happy that it resonated with you and that you've got a kick of virtual motivation (lol!) Ps. I love the name of your substack! it felt really fun to write dear brain - lol ! I might actually do a writing exercise of writing a letter to my own brain !
I really enjoyed reading this. It made me think of my honeybees.
They don't build a thriving colony in a day. They simply keep showing up... one flower, one journey, one tiny contribution at a time.
Reading your article made me realise how much they embody the very idea of neuroplasticity—small, repeated actions that, over time, create something extraordinary.
It inspired this thought:
"Every flower visited. Every journey made. Every small action is a vote for the future you're creating."
Dear Mariet: what a inspiring and eloquent visual: honeybees! I love it! I might "borrow it" - it really captures the whole concept so beautifully! Thank you so much for sharing your though! it truly touched, moved and inspired me!
I agree with the central message: we should not wait to feel ready before we act. In many ways, action precedes identity. We become different through what we repeatedly do, not through what we merely wish for.
Where I become more cautious is with the word “neuroplasticity”.
Too often, ordinary behavioural wisdom is given extra authority by attaching it to the brain. “Do the thing repeatedly and it becomes easier” is true enough. But calling it neuroplasticity can make it sound as if we have explained more than we have.
The brain is not changing in isolation. A human being changes through repeated interaction with the world: body, environment, relationships, stress, reward, culture, habit and meaning all act together. Neural change is part of that process, but it is not the whole explanation.
So I would frame it slightly differently.
We do not become new people because the brain magically rewires itself. We become different people because repeated patterns of action, attention and environment gradually reshape the whole organism — and the brain changes as part of that larger developmental process.
That does not weaken the hopeful message. It strengthens it.
The important question is not simply “Can my brain change?” Of course it can. The more interesting question is:
What am I rehearsing every day, and what kind of person is that rehearsal helping me become?
Dear Dr. Kevin: This is such a thoughtful read. You are right that neuroplasticity is only part of a larger reshaping, and your closing question, what am I rehearsing every day, is the one I want to carry forward. Thank you, M!
'The map of who you are is written in pencil, not ink' ~ I'm designing a craft art piece in my head as we speak based on this statement (just for personal use). Simply wonderful!
Dear Shannon: Awww! Thank you so much! that just melts my heart! I'm so happy that it resonated with you and that it inspired you ! Cheering you on, in your crafting journey! M
This is brilliant and written so we can all understand it and benefit from it, Magdalena. When we talk soon, I want to discuss how this understanding of neuroplasticity relates to how I tell people to just start. Take one step forward, and the universe will meet you halfway when it knows you're serious. You're explaining the brain in a different way than I explain the universe, but they both work the same way, it seems. Thanks. Blue💙
Dearest Blue: thank you so much for your kind and supportive words! I'm so happy to hear that it resonates with you and I can't wait to connect with you really soon! Lots of love and hugs, M!
I have written down and taken one small action everyday for 2 weeks. The most noticeable difference is understanding I’m writing for me and not for acclaim. I wrote what I thought was my best story yet for a writing group. I worked on the story with my grandson and then described him walking to school imagining himself as the Mandalorian. I sent it to my daughter who didn’t read it to him and I don’t think he wanted to have it read to him as it wasn’t the story he told me to write. I think it’s the story where I arrived. Everyday I make myself very small or rather I think I do and I don’t have to.
I absolutely love this framing. You’re right, neuroplasticity proves we don't have to wait for the feeling to take the action. In fact, the waiting can turn into forever.
In my work with high-achievers, I’ve found that combining this exact concept with "story dissolution" is the ultimate combo. Achievers will often try to white-knuckle the repetition, which turns into an exhausting merry-go-round. But when we first help them become aware of their underlying OS and dissolve the old story, the resistance vanishes instantly.
The reps stop feeling forced, and the neuroplasticity does exactly what you described here.
I think many of us wait to feel ready, confident, or legitimate before beginning, when perhaps those feelings are built through the evidence of repeatedly showing up. I have been experiencing this with writing recently. The more I write, the less I feel that I am trying to become someone who writes. I simply write.
Dear Simgology: I love what you said: "The more I write, the less I feel that I am trying to become someone who writes. I simply write." this is so incredibly true! well done! cheering you on in your writing adventures!
Thank you - that means a lot. I keep returning to the gap between knowing who we want to become and practicing being that person before we feel fully ready. It has found its way into much of what I've been writing lately, so I'll definitely be sharing more.
This is really helpful!! I heard the term neuroplasticity for the first time on Ryan Mek's YouTube video and I wrote about it in my most recent article to reinforce what I had learnt in my brain. When I saw the word again in your topic. I had to pause for a few minutes and recall what I had written about neuroplasticity in my article most of which were technical jargons I wasn't yet acquitted to. After reading your article and the way you simplified the concept into smaller bits, I have gained more understanding on what the term means and I can't wait to start working on my "default mode network" because now I understand I have to be conscious of what I think and do when I'm not currently stimulating my mind by writing and strategizing on the next step ahead. Thank you for this insight. I'm definitely going to read it again at exactly this time tomorrow ☺️☺️
Thank you for this piece, so inspiring and honest ❤️💫It has made me reflect, and see things with a new perspective. I’m always dreading to write and be more Creative, not be exhausted all the time.
You very welcome Cristina! I’m so happy that it resonated with you! and I can totally resonate with the create more and be exhausted less quest! Rescripting and rewiring is a great first step to alter that!
“The silence had gone on so long she had quietly decided that whatever she once had was gone, and she was making her peace with a smaller version of her own life.”
This really touched a raw nerve. It made me wonder how many women had ditched, dreams, hopes and ideas that could have been life giving, life changing and so beneficial to humanity, just because someone made a careless and inconsiderate remark.
I’m so glad that you started writing again and built the muscles for it all over again . Today I got to read your take on neuroplasticity because you dared to write again. I love the way that you explained it. Thank you for sharing parts of your story with us. 🧡🙏🏽
Dear Jacqui: awww! thank you for your kind and generous words! I'm so happy that it resonated with you! And I'm happy and honored to share my story! and I do wonder the same thing around how others ditched their dreams, hopes and ideas b/c something happen...
You are welcome Magdalena, you deserve the thanks too because your article reminded me of what I call ‘shrinkage’.
You shrunk because of a careless remark, but you were blessed to embark on your own expansion and now you’re here serving up word feasts.
Can you imagine the billions of people who are meant to be living boldly and loving deeply but are shrinking in various ways because of societal conditioning, a careless remark or because of some hurt they experienced?
Like you, I know the cost I paid due to shrinking that is why it resonates so deeply. Thank you 🙏🏽 🧡.
When that story started, I thought it was someone else's. But in the end, when I read that it was yours, I couldn't describe that moment, my happiness. I loved reading it, or should I say I enjoyed it thoroughly. You are indeed a great writer, Magdalena ♥️
Dear Thourghts and inbetweens: You've made my day! Thank you so much for you kind and supportive words! I'm so happy that it resonated with you! Cheering you on, in your writing journey!
See
Lights, bells, jaw dropping , eyes dilating, rapid breathing; - like discovering a precious gem, what you've written has invaded my Life! Im truly stunned and so grateful. This has given me hope again . 🙏🏼
Even my thinking without picking up a pen is suddenly alive and its definitely the timing as well.
Bless you. Lois
Dear Lois: thank you so much for your kind words, and I'm so glad that it resonated with you!
Hi beautiful people,
My name is Giovazkie and I'm a creative soul that is reconnecting to my creative self again. I just did the 20min exercise as an experiment. I'm also reading The Artist Way currently and committing to writing everyday no matter the mood! jaja can't wait. Also experimenting with waking up super early and meditating. Also interested in seeing what happens. Going to apply nueroplasticity to it. Happy learning
“Your brain is already scripting your life. The question is who is holding the pen.” What a wonderful metaphor. So descriptive! I feel like I just got a virtual kick of motivation.
Dear brain.unpacked: I'm so happy that it resonated with you and that you've got a kick of virtual motivation (lol!) Ps. I love the name of your substack! it felt really fun to write dear brain - lol ! I might actually do a writing exercise of writing a letter to my own brain !
I really enjoyed reading this. It made me think of my honeybees.
They don't build a thriving colony in a day. They simply keep showing up... one flower, one journey, one tiny contribution at a time.
Reading your article made me realise how much they embody the very idea of neuroplasticity—small, repeated actions that, over time, create something extraordinary.
It inspired this thought:
"Every flower visited. Every journey made. Every small action is a vote for the future you're creating."
Thank you for such a thought-provoking read.
Dear Mariet: what a inspiring and eloquent visual: honeybees! I love it! I might "borrow it" - it really captures the whole concept so beautifully! Thank you so much for sharing your though! it truly touched, moved and inspired me!
An enjoyable and engaging article.
I agree with the central message: we should not wait to feel ready before we act. In many ways, action precedes identity. We become different through what we repeatedly do, not through what we merely wish for.
Where I become more cautious is with the word “neuroplasticity”.
Too often, ordinary behavioural wisdom is given extra authority by attaching it to the brain. “Do the thing repeatedly and it becomes easier” is true enough. But calling it neuroplasticity can make it sound as if we have explained more than we have.
The brain is not changing in isolation. A human being changes through repeated interaction with the world: body, environment, relationships, stress, reward, culture, habit and meaning all act together. Neural change is part of that process, but it is not the whole explanation.
So I would frame it slightly differently.
We do not become new people because the brain magically rewires itself. We become different people because repeated patterns of action, attention and environment gradually reshape the whole organism — and the brain changes as part of that larger developmental process.
That does not weaken the hopeful message. It strengthens it.
The important question is not simply “Can my brain change?” Of course it can. The more interesting question is:
What am I rehearsing every day, and what kind of person is that rehearsal helping me become?
Dear Dr. Kevin: This is such a thoughtful read. You are right that neuroplasticity is only part of a larger reshaping, and your closing question, what am I rehearsing every day, is the one I want to carry forward. Thank you, M!
Hey, Magdalena!
Your idea of what "waiting to feel ready before you begin" looks like is a great reminder.
waiting to feel like a writer before you write.
waiting to feel like a healthy person before you exercise.
Dear Jerald: I love this ! You are spot on!
'The map of who you are is written in pencil, not ink' ~ I'm designing a craft art piece in my head as we speak based on this statement (just for personal use). Simply wonderful!
Dear Shannon: Awww! Thank you so much! that just melts my heart! I'm so happy that it resonated with you and that it inspired you ! Cheering you on, in your crafting journey! M
This is just great.
What book would you recommend on neuroplasticity and habit formation?
This is brilliant and written so we can all understand it and benefit from it, Magdalena. When we talk soon, I want to discuss how this understanding of neuroplasticity relates to how I tell people to just start. Take one step forward, and the universe will meet you halfway when it knows you're serious. You're explaining the brain in a different way than I explain the universe, but they both work the same way, it seems. Thanks. Blue💙
Dearest Blue: thank you so much for your kind and supportive words! I'm so happy to hear that it resonates with you and I can't wait to connect with you really soon! Lots of love and hugs, M!
I have written down and taken one small action everyday for 2 weeks. The most noticeable difference is understanding I’m writing for me and not for acclaim. I wrote what I thought was my best story yet for a writing group. I worked on the story with my grandson and then described him walking to school imagining himself as the Mandalorian. I sent it to my daughter who didn’t read it to him and I don’t think he wanted to have it read to him as it wasn’t the story he told me to write. I think it’s the story where I arrived. Everyday I make myself very small or rather I think I do and I don’t have to.
I absolutely love this framing. You’re right, neuroplasticity proves we don't have to wait for the feeling to take the action. In fact, the waiting can turn into forever.
In my work with high-achievers, I’ve found that combining this exact concept with "story dissolution" is the ultimate combo. Achievers will often try to white-knuckle the repetition, which turns into an exhausting merry-go-round. But when we first help them become aware of their underlying OS and dissolve the old story, the resistance vanishes instantly.
The reps stop feeling forced, and the neuroplasticity does exactly what you described here.
Dear Moonching: I'm so glad that it resonated with you and that you found and insightful and helpful. Thank you for you kind words. M
I think many of us wait to feel ready, confident, or legitimate before beginning, when perhaps those feelings are built through the evidence of repeatedly showing up. I have been experiencing this with writing recently. The more I write, the less I feel that I am trying to become someone who writes. I simply write.
Dear Simgology: I love what you said: "The more I write, the less I feel that I am trying to become someone who writes. I simply write." this is so incredibly true! well done! cheering you on in your writing adventures!
Thank you - that means a lot. I keep returning to the gap between knowing who we want to become and practicing being that person before we feel fully ready. It has found its way into much of what I've been writing lately, so I'll definitely be sharing more.
Please do! Can't wait to hear more! Cheering you on, M!
Thanks for this article, it is very useful for us. Kuduos to you 🙌
Dear Pankaj: thank you so much for your kind and supportive words! I'm so glad that it resonated with you!
This is really helpful!! I heard the term neuroplasticity for the first time on Ryan Mek's YouTube video and I wrote about it in my most recent article to reinforce what I had learnt in my brain. When I saw the word again in your topic. I had to pause for a few minutes and recall what I had written about neuroplasticity in my article most of which were technical jargons I wasn't yet acquitted to. After reading your article and the way you simplified the concept into smaller bits, I have gained more understanding on what the term means and I can't wait to start working on my "default mode network" because now I understand I have to be conscious of what I think and do when I'm not currently stimulating my mind by writing and strategizing on the next step ahead. Thank you for this insight. I'm definitely going to read it again at exactly this time tomorrow ☺️☺️
Thank you for this piece, so inspiring and honest ❤️💫It has made me reflect, and see things with a new perspective. I’m always dreading to write and be more Creative, not be exhausted all the time.
You very welcome Cristina! I’m so happy that it resonated with you! and I can totally resonate with the create more and be exhausted less quest! Rescripting and rewiring is a great first step to alter that!