Dear Barry: I'm so glad that it resonated with you and thank you so much for responding! I love what you said that letting go and releasing to the universe. and I did laugh about the secretly checking numbers - lol - guilt as well!
I wrote a short story once, and loved it. No one else did, and it was very niche at the time (death, war and such). It took 25 years to find a home where other people could read it.
I think sometimes people read newsletters and forget to like at the bottom of the page, or something hits so profoundly that there aren't enough/the right words. Silence is deafening, but rarely personal.
Dear Elspeth: I love your reframe of "Silence is deafening, but rarely personal." - that's such a profound way to relate to silence! Thank you for this deep share! Appreciate you!
You captured how heavy silence can feel, and had me rethink an experience I had years ago from a completely different angle.
In the senior class of art school (The Cooper Union), I was met with complete silence during every. single. critique.
It baffled me at the time. My peers were making highly complex, conceptual art that sparked hours of frantic debate. I wasn't. I was just finding the simple, objective beauty in the world and re-presenting it in class.
Decades later, I realized what was actually happening: people are trained to expect complexity. They are so used to living in their own mental noise and fabricated stories that when they are finally faced with something simple and true, it breaks their mental loop. They literally don't know what to say.
That 'silence' wasn't emptiness—it was just the absence of a complicated story.
It’s synchronistic reading your essay today. I was just cast last-minute to speak at a writer's group, and the theme of the month is Silence. Reading this inspired me; I know exactly the story I will tell. Thank you!
Dear Pain Story Exit: this is so great! I love what you wrote: "That 'silence' wasn't emptiness—it was just the absence of a complicated story." that really resonates deeply with me! Not knowing what to say creates silence. We try really hard to fill the silence(s) with something...though, judgment, assessment... thank you so much for sharing this!
This resonates deeply. I can almost feel the wonder ... perhaps reverence, perhaps confusion... in that room as each person took in what you presented. Sometimes we simply don't have words or our feelings/response haven't caught up to the world of words and expression. Sometimes we need silence to absorb and discover, each in our own unique way. Thank you for this comment.
Ah, Magdalena, this is a great, heartfelt piece you have shared. I couldn't help thinking of one of my recent posts: "At 82, I'm Done Pretending I Don't Need Anyone's Validation." I know. Self-validation should be enough, but for me (maybe because I have less time left than most), having people let me know what I write has resonated with them is important -- important enough to keep me writing. It's okay that we sit on different sides of this question. If you read it, let me know what you think -- agree with or argue with. I'd like to hear your feedback. Blue💙 https://reinventyourlife.substack.com/p/at-82-i-admit-it-self-validation
Dear Blue: Thank you so much for sharing! I love what you wrote: "There’s a difference between a compliment and validation. “Great post” is a compliment. “That was exactly what I needed to hear today” is validation.' that distinction really resonates; along with the self vs external validation! Cheering you on, M!
Wow!! Tears!! Thank you for describing with words what I am sooo familiar with feeling, sensing.
It IS grief!
I have taught myself to remind myself that what I create (music, mostly) is for me....that if I am immersed, entertained, pleasured, transformed by the process, by the unfolding, then that is enough.
This sets me up for two things: a fulfillment that I've made my life count my leaving something beautiful here when I go, and the sense of true connection with the one who discovers what I've made and lets me know it's made a difference. I don't want to make 'content'- I want to make ART that's, as you so perfectly state, infused with heart from the source. 💖
Dear Jacqueline: thank you so much for deep and profound share - I truly sense it's coming from the deep deep desire to make ART that's infused with heart from the source! Keep going, keep creating and keep sharing! and know that I'm cheering you on, along with the community! M
To everyone here—please don’t stop doing what you felt drawn to do.
To write, to express your inner world, to share what life has been like for you, or the way you see things.
It can feel like everything is saturated—therapy, coaching, personal development, writing—but there is only one signature… yours.
There are people who read and notice in silence. Not everyone will comment or subscribe. For many, even responding feels daunting. Some are still finding their voice, learning to trust what they feel—especially if they were taught to ignore it, or were kept quiet because it made others uncomfortable.
So make your way. Step forward in your own time. Share what feels true for you and let it be enough for now. There may come a point where that changes—but you’ll feel it when it does. Growth has its own rhythm.
There have been many times I nearly stopped. One of the hardest was after a car accident a few years ago—I really felt like that was it for me.
But I also knew there are so many people living with pain every day, struggling just to move, who feel that same sense of limitation. And I knew there were small things—backed by research—that could create shifts over time. I knew that the medical industry writes them off and thats all they hear and I knew different and wanted to share what I knew , and how I had implemented things that made all the difference .
So I kept going. And I write to share those things, because too often we’re told that age or illness is the endpoint—and it isn’t.
Even if it’s quiet, even if it feels like no one is there… what you’re doing still matters. it matters alot.....................
I just adore this! "To everyone here—please don’t stop doing what you felt drawn to do.
To write, to express your inner world, to share what life has been like for you, or the way you see things.
It can feel like everything is saturated—therapy, coaching, personal development, writing—but there is only one signature… yours." Thank you so much Melanie for this! I can tell it's coming deep down from your heart, soul, gut! I love love how encouraging you are!!!
Great piece-I wrote my masters in 2001 (after 4 years of therapy training) . It was actually really hard for me to do any writing back then , I was never diagnosed but later several tutors suggested I had dyslexia . So being able to formulate my thoughts and write a structure to be critiqued created alot of anxiety . but with blood sweat and tears and trying to use the new word processor (my first time) freed me up to be able to keep reworking my work. By the time I got to doing a masters ,I spent a year in the house , writing between the kids being up and around and sleep. Everything else stopped.
It was a deep process for me , deeply personal and I hadn't shared a lot of my inner world and experiences outside of the training ,and when I handed it in there was a lot of anxiety too. Then it was read, I passed , and it probably sat on the dusty shelf -that many other peoples work. I love asking people what did you write for your masters, as i know its driven often by something deep inside needing to come out, be witnessed and heard, Even if I don't understand the topic. Mine continued to sit there, I've no idea how many people read it. But strangely I'm re-using a lot of those ideas and thoughts that were in that piece now in my new phase of writing . I think that's what a lot of people don't realise , is how much the self is involved in the process and how your left with a big gap after completing something that you gave so much time and attention too . But now I understand the process alot more, about how I work and why and what matters ,rather than if people acknowledge what I did or wrote, because like all my other work, if one person felt a shift, changed direction or felt good after , I'm happy with that .
Dear Melanie: thank you for this very deep share! I love, love what you wrote about: " writing between the kids being up and around and sleep. Everything else stopped." and the entire writing experiences. They are so diffrent for each of us! Deep, profound and ver y unique! Appreciate your share! M
I really enjoyed reading this piece and you describe the writer's angst (at best, heartache at worst) that many (many, many) of us feel. Even after 30 years of writing, the pain is real! I was touched especially by what you said about "...make smaller things, care less, protect yourself, build a thicker wall next time, that’s not a creative instinct." YES - it's NOT a natural instinct for most creatives to easily brush off feelings, care less. Without the depth of emotion, the writing isn't good, but with connecting to that depth, naturally comes attachment that's hard to shake. That hadn't necessarily struck me so obviously, so thank you!
Dear An Ordinary Woman : )although to me your writing and way of being is extraordinary :-)) thank you for this deep and heartfelt share! I love what you said: "ithout the depth of emotion, the writing isn't good, but with connecting to that depth, naturally comes attachment that's hard to shake" that really resonates with me! Cheering you on, M
This is one I'm really struggling with and you wrote it so eloquently. I learned that I'm going to keep going even if no one reads my work because I just love it too damn much to stop. But I'm having a moment where I'm really fighting myself on it.
Dear Lauren: thank you so much for sharing the inner fight - it really resonates with me and I'm sure many others! There is such a inner struggle to keep going and sharing and creating...Appreciate you and cheering you on, M
I am procrastinating (or am I researching) writing a song by reading your newly found posts @Magdalena...and subsequently all of these delicious comments. My body is responding with deeply felt emotion to each one.
My brain now wants to play with each one and attempt to fuse them into this song. To do that I must leave this delightful, thought and emotionally rich rabbit hole.🐰
Dear Linda: cheers to procrastinating (lol) you are in a great company!! Thank you for jumping into this rabbit hole and have an amazing Easter! Cheering you on, M!
A very honest piece, thankyou. What has the silence taught me? Like any gift, once we give it, it no longer belongs to us.
It's the same with a treasured piece of writing, once we publish, others will make of it what they will, we have no control.
So I leaned to let it go (secretly though, I still check the numbers).
Dear Barry: I'm so glad that it resonated with you and thank you so much for responding! I love what you said that letting go and releasing to the universe. and I did laugh about the secretly checking numbers - lol - guilt as well!
I wrote a short story once, and loved it. No one else did, and it was very niche at the time (death, war and such). It took 25 years to find a home where other people could read it.
I think sometimes people read newsletters and forget to like at the bottom of the page, or something hits so profoundly that there aren't enough/the right words. Silence is deafening, but rarely personal.
Dear Elspeth: I love your reframe of "Silence is deafening, but rarely personal." - that's such a profound way to relate to silence! Thank you for this deep share! Appreciate you!
"Silence is deafening, but rarely personal." great statement .
Thank you, Melanie!
You captured how heavy silence can feel, and had me rethink an experience I had years ago from a completely different angle.
In the senior class of art school (The Cooper Union), I was met with complete silence during every. single. critique.
It baffled me at the time. My peers were making highly complex, conceptual art that sparked hours of frantic debate. I wasn't. I was just finding the simple, objective beauty in the world and re-presenting it in class.
Decades later, I realized what was actually happening: people are trained to expect complexity. They are so used to living in their own mental noise and fabricated stories that when they are finally faced with something simple and true, it breaks their mental loop. They literally don't know what to say.
That 'silence' wasn't emptiness—it was just the absence of a complicated story.
It’s synchronistic reading your essay today. I was just cast last-minute to speak at a writer's group, and the theme of the month is Silence. Reading this inspired me; I know exactly the story I will tell. Thank you!
Dear Pain Story Exit: this is so great! I love what you wrote: "That 'silence' wasn't emptiness—it was just the absence of a complicated story." that really resonates deeply with me! Not knowing what to say creates silence. We try really hard to fill the silence(s) with something...though, judgment, assessment... thank you so much for sharing this!
This resonates deeply. I can almost feel the wonder ... perhaps reverence, perhaps confusion... in that room as each person took in what you presented. Sometimes we simply don't have words or our feelings/response haven't caught up to the world of words and expression. Sometimes we need silence to absorb and discover, each in our own unique way. Thank you for this comment.
Exactly, Linda. The silence isn't empty; it's full of the things we haven't found words for yet. I appreciate your feeling that.
Great addition! Thank you !
Dear Linda: I'm so glad that it resonated with you!
Ah, Magdalena, this is a great, heartfelt piece you have shared. I couldn't help thinking of one of my recent posts: "At 82, I'm Done Pretending I Don't Need Anyone's Validation." I know. Self-validation should be enough, but for me (maybe because I have less time left than most), having people let me know what I write has resonated with them is important -- important enough to keep me writing. It's okay that we sit on different sides of this question. If you read it, let me know what you think -- agree with or argue with. I'd like to hear your feedback. Blue💙 https://reinventyourlife.substack.com/p/at-82-i-admit-it-self-validation
Dear Blue: Thank you so much for sharing! I love what you wrote: "There’s a difference between a compliment and validation. “Great post” is a compliment. “That was exactly what I needed to hear today” is validation.' that distinction really resonates; along with the self vs external validation! Cheering you on, M!
Marvelous piece. What I learned from it is to write as my authentic self and let the chips fall where they may. Thank you, Magdalena.
Dear Kate: Thank you for your kind and supportive words and for writing from your authentic self - no matter what! Cheering you on, M!
Wow!! Tears!! Thank you for describing with words what I am sooo familiar with feeling, sensing.
It IS grief!
I have taught myself to remind myself that what I create (music, mostly) is for me....that if I am immersed, entertained, pleasured, transformed by the process, by the unfolding, then that is enough.
This sets me up for two things: a fulfillment that I've made my life count my leaving something beautiful here when I go, and the sense of true connection with the one who discovers what I've made and lets me know it's made a difference. I don't want to make 'content'- I want to make ART that's, as you so perfectly state, infused with heart from the source. 💖
Dear Jacqueline: thank you so much for deep and profound share - I truly sense it's coming from the deep deep desire to make ART that's infused with heart from the source! Keep going, keep creating and keep sharing! and know that I'm cheering you on, along with the community! M
To everyone here—please don’t stop doing what you felt drawn to do.
To write, to express your inner world, to share what life has been like for you, or the way you see things.
It can feel like everything is saturated—therapy, coaching, personal development, writing—but there is only one signature… yours.
There are people who read and notice in silence. Not everyone will comment or subscribe. For many, even responding feels daunting. Some are still finding their voice, learning to trust what they feel—especially if they were taught to ignore it, or were kept quiet because it made others uncomfortable.
So make your way. Step forward in your own time. Share what feels true for you and let it be enough for now. There may come a point where that changes—but you’ll feel it when it does. Growth has its own rhythm.
There have been many times I nearly stopped. One of the hardest was after a car accident a few years ago—I really felt like that was it for me.
But I also knew there are so many people living with pain every day, struggling just to move, who feel that same sense of limitation. And I knew there were small things—backed by research—that could create shifts over time. I knew that the medical industry writes them off and thats all they hear and I knew different and wanted to share what I knew , and how I had implemented things that made all the difference .
So I kept going. And I write to share those things, because too often we’re told that age or illness is the endpoint—and it isn’t.
Even if it’s quiet, even if it feels like no one is there… what you’re doing still matters. it matters alot.....................
I just adore this! "To everyone here—please don’t stop doing what you felt drawn to do.
To write, to express your inner world, to share what life has been like for you, or the way you see things.
It can feel like everything is saturated—therapy, coaching, personal development, writing—but there is only one signature… yours." Thank you so much Melanie for this! I can tell it's coming deep down from your heart, soul, gut! I love love how encouraging you are!!!
Great piece-I wrote my masters in 2001 (after 4 years of therapy training) . It was actually really hard for me to do any writing back then , I was never diagnosed but later several tutors suggested I had dyslexia . So being able to formulate my thoughts and write a structure to be critiqued created alot of anxiety . but with blood sweat and tears and trying to use the new word processor (my first time) freed me up to be able to keep reworking my work. By the time I got to doing a masters ,I spent a year in the house , writing between the kids being up and around and sleep. Everything else stopped.
It was a deep process for me , deeply personal and I hadn't shared a lot of my inner world and experiences outside of the training ,and when I handed it in there was a lot of anxiety too. Then it was read, I passed , and it probably sat on the dusty shelf -that many other peoples work. I love asking people what did you write for your masters, as i know its driven often by something deep inside needing to come out, be witnessed and heard, Even if I don't understand the topic. Mine continued to sit there, I've no idea how many people read it. But strangely I'm re-using a lot of those ideas and thoughts that were in that piece now in my new phase of writing . I think that's what a lot of people don't realise , is how much the self is involved in the process and how your left with a big gap after completing something that you gave so much time and attention too . But now I understand the process alot more, about how I work and why and what matters ,rather than if people acknowledge what I did or wrote, because like all my other work, if one person felt a shift, changed direction or felt good after , I'm happy with that .
Dear Melanie: thank you for this very deep share! I love, love what you wrote about: " writing between the kids being up and around and sleep. Everything else stopped." and the entire writing experiences. They are so diffrent for each of us! Deep, profound and ver y unique! Appreciate your share! M
I really enjoyed reading this piece and you describe the writer's angst (at best, heartache at worst) that many (many, many) of us feel. Even after 30 years of writing, the pain is real! I was touched especially by what you said about "...make smaller things, care less, protect yourself, build a thicker wall next time, that’s not a creative instinct." YES - it's NOT a natural instinct for most creatives to easily brush off feelings, care less. Without the depth of emotion, the writing isn't good, but with connecting to that depth, naturally comes attachment that's hard to shake. That hadn't necessarily struck me so obviously, so thank you!
Dear An Ordinary Woman : )although to me your writing and way of being is extraordinary :-)) thank you for this deep and heartfelt share! I love what you said: "ithout the depth of emotion, the writing isn't good, but with connecting to that depth, naturally comes attachment that's hard to shake" that really resonates with me! Cheering you on, M
This is one I'm really struggling with and you wrote it so eloquently. I learned that I'm going to keep going even if no one reads my work because I just love it too damn much to stop. But I'm having a moment where I'm really fighting myself on it.
Dear Lauren: thank you so much for sharing the inner fight - it really resonates with me and I'm sure many others! There is such a inner struggle to keep going and sharing and creating...Appreciate you and cheering you on, M
I am procrastinating (or am I researching) writing a song by reading your newly found posts @Magdalena...and subsequently all of these delicious comments. My body is responding with deeply felt emotion to each one.
My brain now wants to play with each one and attempt to fuse them into this song. To do that I must leave this delightful, thought and emotionally rich rabbit hole.🐰
Happy Easter. 🐣
I will be back.
Dear Linda: cheers to procrastinating (lol) you are in a great company!! Thank you for jumping into this rabbit hole and have an amazing Easter! Cheering you on, M!